1125: Low Ebb

After the events of the last few days, which I won’t go into right now, I feel compelled to write a few words about bullying in general. I’ve already written a considerable number of words on the time I suffered workplace bullying towards the end of my time working at an Apple Store (check it out here) but I wanted to talk a little more about the subject in general.

The word “bullying” is an incredibly loaded one that brings to mind images of schoolkids taking the piss out of each other for the most ridiculous reasons. When I was a young child at primary school, it was my ears. They stuck out and looked quite large, so naturally I was picked on and ridiculed for that — not just occasionally, but pretty much daily. The experience left me with mental scars that  are yet to heal, and which manifest themselves in my cripplingly low sense of self-esteem.

But bullying isn’t just something that children suffer from. Adults can suffer bullying, too, in a variety of forms. It could be workplace bullying such as that described in my previous post, where those in a position of “power” or “authority” use their influence to negative, unfair ends; it could be one group of people taking an irrational dislike to another group and expressing that dislike through verbal or physical abuse; it could be organised campaigns of hatred using the Internet.

The latter is an option that didn’t exist when I was a youngster. The Internet wasn’t a widespread thing until I was well into my teenage years, and social media certainly was nowhere to be seen. As such, any instances of bullying tended to confine themselves to the “real world” where they could normally be dealt with relatively easily, since there was usually an identifiable perpetrator to pin the blame on. It wasn’t always easy for the victim to come forward and report the perpetrator, of course, for fear of reprisals — that “knowing them in real life” thing worked both ways — but if they could muster up the courage to do so, then the situation could often be dealt with.

With online bullying, though, it’s a much more difficult proposition. There isn’t always a visible perpetrator, because they often choose to hide behind a veil of anonymity. Some particularly arrogant online bullies do so under their real name because they’ve also taken steps to ensure that they will never get caught, and herein lies part of the problem: the very nature of online crime makes it extremely difficult to police, meaning that more often than not the groups responsible for making some people feel really, really shitty go completely unpunished and thus receive the message loud and clear that what they are doing is Okay.

The worst thing about bullying in all its forms is the degree of self-doubt it can instill in its victim. Am I worthless? they’ll think. Do I deserve this? Are those things they’re saying actually true? Do people really think that about me? Is that how other people see me? These are, of course, all things that I’ve found myself thinking at various points in my life.

It’s useless and irrational to think that way, of course, but sadly, often the sort of people who are affected the worst by the actions of bullies are those who, like me, turn irrational when they have to deal with a difficult situation like this. Because it’s not easy to stay rational in the face of totally irrational, unprovoked hatred, either, for in many cases these instances of bullying are born from little more than boredom rather than feeling particularly strongly about the person or group in question. It becomes a sport for the bullies, more about the chase and the observation of the victim’s behaviour than specifically trying to hurt a person. This is particularly apparent when it comes to online bullying, where it’s very easy to conveniently forget that the target of your vitriol is actually a real person with real feelings, and that any hurtful things you send off into the ether after you click that “Send” button may have a very real impact on that person’s emotional, mental and, in some cases, physical wellbeing.

There’s no easy solution, either. And that’s sad. What’s even more sad is the fact that we seem to have got to a stage as a society where we just accept that this sort of thing happens, and we don’t do anything about it. I don’t have any suggestions or solutions, either, mind you, but surely by the year 2013 you’d think humanity might have gotten over irrational hatred by now.

But apparently not.

(Sorry for the lack of comic today. I’m emotionally exhausted and there’s no real way I can make all this shit funny.)