2033: #4favocharacters

As luck would have it, just as I was settling down to get this written, someone tagged me in one of those viral Twitter things where you post pictures of four favourite somethings (in this case characters) and then tag a bunch of new people to see what they come up with.

I responded relatively hastily, though I did make one substitution before I submitted. I kept mine to the world of games, largely because I think that was the intention, and also because if I start getting into TV series and anime I would have been there all night deciding.

Anyway. This seems like a good opportunity to expand on my choices. My picks were as follows:

Katsuragi (Senran Kagura)

I’ve already written reams of text on Katsuragi so I won’t delve too much into that again, but suffice to say that Katsu-nee is one of my favourite characters due to the fact that I think she’d be fun to hang out with if she was a real person. I question whether or not she’d actually hang out with a dude like me, of course, given that Senran Kagura rather strongly implies that she’s a bit gay — also the whole “I’m not a ninja” thing — but, assuming that sort of thing isn’t a consideration… yes, I think Katsuragi would be fun to hang around with.

The most appealing thing about Katsuragi is not her aggressive sexuality — though her self-confidence and willingness to pursue what she desires rather than moping around in the dark about it is something I can respect — but rather it’s that in her calmer moments, she’s the very model of the perfect older sister. She’s kind, she’s caring, she looks out for the people she loves and she’ll do anything to protect them — though she’s most certainly not averse to playing a prank or two to have some fun at their expense.

Senran Kagura as a whole is filled with deep and fascinating characters, and those who actually bother to give the series the time of day (rather than writing it off because boobs) all have their favourites, leading to frequently quite heated discussions online. I could have picked any number of the Senrans, but on balance, it’s Katsuragi that my thoughts keep returning to, so Katsuragi it is.

Noire (Hyperdimension Neptunia)

I love all of the Neptunia cast to pieces, but from the moment I “met” her for the first time, I knew that Noire was going to be my favourite. Twintailed hair, a tsundere personality, a propensity towards attractive but impractical-looking outfits with garters, belts and straps all over the place? Sign me up.

After spending a considerable amount of time with her over the course of a number of different games now (with more still to go), I realise that my connection with Noire goes somewhat deeper. It’s not just that she exhibits traits that I find attractive. It’s not even that she’s cute or has a figure to die for (man, Tsunako really knows how to draw curves). It’s that, amid the chaos of your typical Neptunia story, I find her to be probably the most relatable of the cast — with the possible exception of IF, whose world-weary exasperation with the nonsense she constantly gets caught up in nicely reflects the feelings of frustration and annoyance I often feel at the most stupid things our own world has to offer.

Noire, though, she’s an interesting one. Determined to always do her very best and prove that she “can only do everything”, she often falls foul of her own ambitions and desire to climb to the top of the heap. This is particularly apparent in Hyperdevotion Noire, where an impulsive act towards the beginning of the game throws the world into chaos — but rather than slinking away quietly to pretend like she had nothing to do with it, she takes responsibility and does her best to make things right, even in the face of constant and frustrating opposition.

Noire is lonely, too. She has a lot of what could be described as niche interests — though not quite to the degree of the yaoi-loving Vert — but doesn’t quite feel comfortable sharing them with anyone. The closest she comes to opening up to another person is with the player-protagonist characters in Hyperdevotion Noire and Hyperdimension Neptunia PP‘; it’s kind of sad that she has trouble being this honest with the people who are ostensibly her best friends, even as they’re honest with her. I suppose that, more than anything, is why I feel like I can relate to her somewhat; while I’m not a goddess running a country, I can most certainly understand the desire to shout about the things you’re passionate about but hesitating, not knowing what people will think of you if you do open up.

Maya Fey (Ace Attorney)

At the opposite end of the spectrum is Maya Fey from the Ace Attorney series, a character whom I don’t particularly relate to as such, but whom I find enormously fun to have around.

Maya is the perfect foil to Ace Attorney protagonist Phoenix Wright’s initially bumbling ways, and grows and changes with him as a character. Initially appearing to be rather childish, over the course of the Ace Attorney games she gradually shows herself to be a deep and complex character, holding enormous respect for her cultural traditions and a passionate belief in Wright’s ability to find the truth in even the most confusing of cases.

Maya and Phoenix’s relationship is kept somewhat ambiguous throughout the games. It’s clear that there’s a bit of a “spark” there between them, but whether or not it’s simply close friendship through shared trauma — they first meet as a result of the death of Maya’s sister Mia, which Phoenix ends up investigating and eventually solving — or something more is never quite clear. One can probably assume that Phoenix, being a few years older (early 20s to Maya’s 17 at the outset of the first Ace Attorney game) is understandably hesitant to even consider taking things any further, but frankly, I wouldn’t have been at all surprised to see them get together in one of the games. To my recollection, though, it hasn’t happened — though it has been a while!

Anyway. Maya is a fun character who is enjoyable to hang out with. Since the majority of the Ace Attorney games unfold from first-person perspective, Maya is the character you see most frequently, since she often offers observations and suggestions to “you” (as Phoenix) while you’re investigating the crime scenes. Spend that much time with a character — the Ace Attorney games aren’t short! — and you’re bound to develop some affection for them.

Hanako (Katawa Shoujo)

Games had captivated and emotionally engaged me with their stories before, but it was Katawa Shoujo that forged the tastes I have today. And, specifically, it was Hanako — though before we get into any arguments about “best girl”, I liked all the others; I just liked Hanako the best. And here’s why.

Again, like with Noire, I found Hanako to be relatable. And again, not because I’m in the literal same situation as her — Hanako has burn scars all over one side of her body due to a past trauma, and thankfully I am free of such readily apparent mementoes of tragedy — but because I recognise so many of her personality traits, her route in Katawa Shoujo was almost painful to play through.

Hanako suffers from dreadful social anxiety, much like I have done. Hanako’s is far worse than mine, at least at the start of the game — she literally can’t stay in the same room with people she doesn’t know — but her feelings of being trapped in an uncomfortable situation, of wanting to do nothing but bolt; they were all too familiar.

Hanako’s route is one of the most interesting ones in Katawa Shoujo because things sort of happen in a bit of a haze. When protagonist Hisao sleeps with Hanako, for example, it’s clear that the two of them were very much caught up in the moment, with Hisao unable to restrain himself, and Hanako unable to communicate quite what she was feeling. This leads to a gut-wrenchingly awkward scene after the fact where Hisao realises that technically Hanako never actually said “yes” to him. From here, the story can branch in one of two different ways: Hisao can either try and be overprotective of Hanako, which ends rather badly with her finally snapping and casting him out of her life, or he can quietly support her when she needs it, allowing her to work through her issues at her own pace, opening up when she’s good and ready.

It’s this last bit that I found particularly poignant. There are a lot of things with which I need help, that is most certainly for sure. But I’m someone who tends to prefer to have the satisfaction of at least trying to solve things himself. I don’t like asking for help, and I don’t like people interfering when I haven’t invited them — but I do welcome support and encouragement when I make it clear that I am in need of it. I understood Hanako’s frustration in the “bad ending”. I understood her sense of closure in the good ending as both she and Hisao come to terms with their own broken lives, accepting both themselves and each other as they both look forward to a future in which they no longer have to be alone.

2025: Building Character

So, since I “rebranded” this place on day 2000, you’ve probably (maybe, possibly not) been wondering who on Earth the people who appear in the images of questionable quality that appear at the top of each post are. So today I’m going to explain who they are and not at all make up backstories and personalities for them on the fly. No sir,

(Layout of this post might look a bit weird if you’re not viewing the site at its full width. I apologise.)

This is me. You all know me. You may wonder why I am never facing the “camera” and the reason absolutely, positively is not that Manga Maker ComiPo! doesn’t have any “beard” attachments for character faces. Rather, it is simply to maintain an air of mystery about my person and to reflect the fact that I am someone who tends to enjoy watching things unfold rather than necessarily taking an active part in them — at least when it comes to things like social situations and the like.

My choice of appearance is due to the fact that I quite like wearing suits (although damn, they are hot and unpleasant to wear in the summer) and I have messy hair and glasses. I’m somewhat larger than this depiction, but I’m on the way to a slimmer, leaner self thanks to Slimming World.

This is Midori. She’s named after my Japanese evening class teacher from a while back; while I’m not taking those classes any more, Midori inspired me and encouraged me and made me believe that one day I might actually be able to understand the Japanese language. I’m not quite there yet, but I’m on the way.

Midori is 16 years old, and an energetic, enthusiastic, sociable girl, albeit one who isn’t the sharpest tool in the box. She makes up for her overwhelming lack of common sense with the amount of passion she exhibits when throwing herself into an activity — any activity. She reflects the part of me that enjoys enthusing about things with people who share my hobbies and interests, and the part of me that wishes it could just “let go” a bit and be a little less up-tight and highly-strung at times.

This is Yumi. I originally created her to effectively be the “opposite” of Midori in almost every way besides gender, but she started to develop a bit of her own personality in her own right as a natural result of this process.

Trope-wise, I’d describe her as a combination of kuudere and tsundere tropes; she’s quiet and softly spoken, yet prone to impatience at times and doesn’t suffer fools gladly. Despite this, she’s been best friends with Midori since childhood, and tolerates her friend’s quirks because she secretly finds dealing with her more fun than she’d ever let on in her own right.

Yumi represents the part of me that is concerned with doing things that are “right” and “respectable”, and the part that sometimes just wants to get on with life without anyone else interfering.

This is Luther. He’s just a prick. Also I apparently forgot to give him any shoes when I created him, so that just makes him even more of a prick.

Luther doesn’t represent any part of me in particular (except, perhaps, the part that can be a prick) and instead largely exists as a character that can be on the receiving end of various unpleasant happenings because I feel bad making bad things happen to Midori and Yumi. (Although I did run over Midori with a spaceship in yesterday’s post, so…)

He was originally created so “I” had someone to punch in the face for the post I wrote about arcade games a while back. He was subsequently also kicked in the bollocks by Midori in my post about Heroes of the Storm a couple of days later.

There you go, then. I hope that was enlightening, or at least fun. Now it’s time for bed for me!

1233: Playing It for the Articles

I overheard a Twitter conversation the other day (yes, I’m back on there, largely to make my professional self easier to reach if necessary) in which disparaging comments were thrown around regarding people who “play games for the story”.

As someone who primarily plays games for the story, I feel honour-bound to take exception to this line of argument, though I forget exactly what the actual point of the discussion in question was. Anyway. Allow me to describe what being someone who plays games for the story — a self-professed “narrative junkie” — means.

Quite simply, it means that I am extremely forgiving of a wide variety of “sins” on a game’s gameplay front if — and it’s a big if — the narrative content of the game in question keeps me interested and compelled. (Caveat: the only unforgivable sin that I simply can’t get past is a free-to-play game putting up a paywall with an energy system or similar mechanic; no matter how good your narrative is, if you actively stop me from playing your game before I’m good and ready to stop, I’m not coming back. Ever.)

Said narrative doesn’t have to be big and clever, or trying to be anything more than a piece of enjoyable entertainment. But it pretty much needs to be there to keep me interested.

Similarly, I can happily take a game with practically no “gameplay” in a traditional sense — see: interactive movies like School Days HQ or any of the myriad visual novels available — so long as the narrative entertains me and keeps me interested.

I’m relatively easily pleased when it comes to storylines. About my only real requirement to enjoy a video game story (or any story in any medium at all, really) is that there are some characters in it that I either like or find interesting — because those two feelings aren’t necessarily the same thing. Give me something in which relatively little “happens,” but in which I gain a deep understanding of the characters involved, and I’ll be very happy indeed.

It’s this love for the art of the story that has led me to give a whole bunch of much-derided games the time of day where others would pass them by. The titles which spring most readily to mind are the Hyperdimension Neptunia series, which is riddled with technical flaws, dull gameplay (in the first game, at least; I actually thought the second was genuinely fun, and I’m yet to try the third one) and various other issues; and Nier, which everyone seems to have decided looked drab and boring and thus was unworthy of further exploration. (I never quite understood this; I thought Nier was actually a pretty good-looking game — it certainly had a lot of personality.) Even the Ar Tonelico series, which I’ve been playing through for the last… quite a while isn’t widely regarded as providing shining examples of “good games”.

For the record, I found the Neptunia series genuinely amusing as well as being a wonderfully on-the-nose parody of both anime and video game culture; I found Nier a fascinating, deeply moving experience; and Ar Tonelico… well, having known nothing about it when I started playing, this is now a series I would happily defend to the death.

It’s this attitude which brought me to the realisation I’m not really a fan of Western-developed role-playing games any more — particularly those of the “open world” variety favoured by Bethesda. I enjoy a good dungeon crawl, sure, but when your lovingly-crafted game world behaves more like a diorama with animatronics than a living world with actual people in it, I get a bit bored.

I realise there’s a certain degree of irony in accusing titles like Skyrim of having diorama-like worlds when most JRPG towns are populated by NPCs who constantly stand in the same place and spout the same crap every time you talk to them. But for me, paradoxically, that gives them a lot more personality. Rather than constantly running into the same recycled guard model and wanting to throw a brick through the TV every time someone makes an “arrow to the knee” reference, each NPC is unique and, for those one or two lines they speak, vaguely interesting.

Ar Tonelico handles this rather well by having the NPCs’ lines change according to the point in the story you’re at. The stories of all three games in the series take place over a relatively small geographical area, so you’re revisiting locations a lot; it’s a fun little “unofficial” sidequest to check in with your favourite NPCs and see how their own completely irrelevant story arc is progressing. Will the little kid outside the General Store ever get up the courage to ask Sasha to come and play with him? Will Skycat ever actually make a move on Luca or is she just flirting? Will those weird furry creatures ever say anything other than “Poo”?

This is all a matter of taste, of course, and I’m well aware that there are thousands — millions? — of people out there perfectly happy with the way Skyrim does things. And that’s fine. Just, as always, be aware that not everyone enjoys the same things in the same way — no-one’s way of enjoying a creative work is inherently “wrong”, so live and let live.

#oneaday Day 927: On Stickmen

I draw stickman primarily for one reason: I’m not very good at drawing anything more complicated. I’ve never practiced drawing particularly hard — I’ve always enjoyed doodling and drawing stupid things, but I’ve never tried particularly hard to actually practice good technique or anything. I spent a few weeks reading up on how to draw manga-style characters a few years back, but never really got the hang of drawing things that look particularly “convincing”. My manga-style drawings always end up looking like the sort of thing a 12-year old kid scrawls in their art book in an attempt to look cool, rather than anything particularly convincing. So no, you won’t be seeing any of those here for the moment.

And then I inevitably run into various other issues if I do decide to draw more detailed characters, which I shall now demonstrate for you forthwith. Note: I am not doing this to solicit feedback, nor am I fishing for compliments (not that these pics deserve any) — simply to demonstrate a point.

Let us begin.

The first question I inevitably end up asking myself regards body image. I put “myself” in my cartoons frequently, and drawing a body makes me ponder whether or not I should draw an “idealised” version of myself (right, obviously) or a more… ummm… “accurate” depiction.

This also raises difficult questions when a friend of mine asks for a guest appearance, as I then have to make the same decision regarding how I represent them — I don’t want to cause offence, but at the same time I want them to be recognisable, and their “shape” is often a part of that factor. It’s just easier to do a stick body because everyone is equal, then, and the main distinguishing factor between characters is not something people (including me) can be particularly sensitive about, but instead the part that really matters to their “character” — their face.

Also, I’m not very good at drawing fat people. Or boobs.

Another thing I am not very good at is posing characters, as the slightly uncomfortable-looking Alex above will attest. I am fond of “arms folded” and “hands on hips” as strong poses, but these are tricky to draw. In the case of “arms folded”, I have no idea where the fuck to put people’s hands, and I’m not even entirely convinced I know where people’s arms go. I then run into mild perspective issues as I try to figure out what would be behind those arms, and it all just gets to be a bit of a mess. (I should probably do it the other way around — body first, then overlay arms on top.)

Questions of clothing then rear their head. What should characters wear? Should they wear the same thing all the time as part of their “look”, or should they switch things up occasionally? Will I ever learn how to draw bare legs beneath a skirt?

Finally, I have to figure out what on Earth to do with more bizarre characters such as Phillipe here. Phillipe works as a stickman because stickmen can get away with exaggerated expressions such as his perpetual gurning. But does that really work when placed atop a more “normal” (i.e. not stick-figure) body?

Looking at the pics I’ve drawn above, it actually sort of does. (Also, I can take further advantage of Phillipe’s perverted nature with offensive T-shirt slogans.) But I still find myself looking at drawings like that and thinking to myself that they’re crap, whereas I’m much happier with the way these characters come out as stick figures. Stick figures can be easily posed, manipulated, mangled and otherwise abused. As soon as you add a “proper” body to the mix, you have to think about things a little more. They’re not as bendy. Well, that’s not true, you can do whatever you want with them. But contortions are easier to draw on a stick figure than on a character with a body. Also you don’t have to worry about lighting with stick figures, whereas cartoons with “proper” bodies inevitably look better if there’s a sense of light and shadow in there.

Why am I thinking about this now? Well, every so often I get a hankering to write a visual novel, but the one thing that usually stops me before I even start is thinking “I’ll never find anyone to draw some good-looking graphics, and I certainly can’t do it myself.” I’ve contemplated making a visual novel using just stick-figure characters and I think it might sort of work — it’d certainly be a distinctive aesthetic — but then I lose confidence and think it would be the rubbishest idea ever.

What I should actually do, of course, is actually script the thing for myself and then see if I can actually recruit someone who can Do Drawing afterwards. But then I go and get into a loop where I want to “see” the character as I’m writing their dialogue, and I go around and around and around and don’t do anything at all.

Screw graphics, basically. They just get in the way.

#oneaday Day 695: Where Are They?

Longtime viewers of this blog are probably wondering where my cast of stickmen characters has got to (besides the top of the page and the sidebar, obviously). Newer visitors are probably wondering why on Earth there is a parade of stickmen at the top of the page and in the sidebar.

You’ll be pleased (or disappointed) to know that I will be resurrecting the stickmen images for posts starting in the New Year. I haven’t yet decided if I’ll do a comic every day or only on certain days, or if I’ll simply use individual images. I’ve tried both over the course of the last while, and both have their pros and cons.

I’m not going to make any excuses as to why I’m not doing them at the moment — they may not look like very much, but those images and comic strips take a surprising amount of time to put together, and since getting a lot busier I just didn’t have the energy to keep up with doing them and a blog post every day, to be frank. To put it in a simpler, arguably more honest way, I couldn’t be arsed.

Now, however, I’m twiddling my thumbs in anticipation of potential new work which may be coming my way from several sources from the New Year onwards. As such, it’s got me thinking about flexing my creative muscles a bit more. I’ve already mentioned that half-finished novel sitting in Google Docs waiting for me to 1) figure out where it’s going and 2) finish it. And indeed I’ve been doing sporadic bits of work on that — though haven’t yet got into the “habit” of working on it regularly. Alongside this, I’ve been experimenting with making YouTube videos of bullet hell shooters — fun, though I anticipate my audience being somewhat limited! And, since I invested a fair amount of my own time, effort and soul into those silly little characters you see at the top of the page, I figured it’s time to bring them back.

Creating characters is an odd experience. When you create a character, whether it’s a comic book stick figure, a character in a novel, a roleplaying character in a Dungeons and Dragons campaign or any other persona, you can’t help thinking of them as your own “children” in a way. You become attached to them — though not necessarily to the degree that you want them to always succeed, particularly in the case of novel characters prone to attracting disastrous situations — and you feel like you “know” them.

Such is the case with the stick figures. There’s obviously me, though my abstract representation resembles me in the most superficial manner possible my emphasising what I consider to be my most prominent characteristic — my beard. And from there the others sort of took on a life of their own.

Alex didn’t originally have a name and existed purely because I wanted to put a redhead in there. She’s often there to provide a splash of colour to an otherwise monochrome scene. Her name came from me asking on Twitter what I should call her, and a (male) friend named Alex politely requesting she be named after him. Alex is relatively normal, though the character trait that she only reads Grazia, not books, was set relatively early in the characters’ lifespan as “speaking parts”.

Lucy, first seen in this post, originally had black hair, but her overexcitable nature was present and correct. She didn’t show up with her blonde hair until considerably later. (I think. I admit I didn’t look that hard. But after a cursory glance, that appeared to be the first time Blonde Lucy showed up.) From this we could arguably deduce that one of those is not her natural hair colour. That or I simply decided she’d look better as a blonde, particularly as her dizziness as a character conforms to the “blonde stereotype”. (Note: I don’t actually believe the blonde stereotype. But Lucy does, and is happy to conform to it.)

Phillipe (don’t you dare call him Philippe or he’ll hurt you) was an odd one. His distinctive, fixed facial expression came about from how my buddy Edd and I used to draw stickman characters shouting, screaming or generally being noisy back when we were at secondary school. The idea to have him permanently stuck like that coupled with a predilection for getting his knob out at every opportunity was alarmingly quick to occur to me. He’s generally used to say things that are a bit closer to the bone (no pun intended) than the other characters might. His name is the result of another Twitter poll, and privately amusing because his personality is pretty much the exact opposite of the person he’s named after.

Those four are the main cast who have been present in pretty much every crude drawing on this blog in one form or another. Other recurring characters such as the Money-Bot (originally introduced as a pun on the term “monetization”) and Des (whose existence is explained in great detail here) have come and gone and, like the “core four”, have taken on something of a life of their own.

So yes, they will be back. As I slowly piece my brain back into some semblance of order — not particularly helped by recent setbacks relating to employment — these facets of my personality (because that’s what they are, let’s face it) will be making a resurgence. Because for all the pain in the arse it is to draw them every day, having them there is oddly comforting; creating them strangely cathartic.

#oneaday Day 616: Characterisation

What makes a good character? It’s not necessarily one you can engage with and sympathise with because some of the most memorable characters there are are villains. A tragic villain who has some sort of dark past that led him to his evildoing is often the most interesting, but sometimes villains who are just plain evil in a variety of creative ways can be memorable, too.

On the “good” side of the spectrum, distinctive, likable characters are fun to “hang out” with. Even slightly irritating characters can be memorable in their own way — though perhaps not for the reasons their creator intended. They don’t necessarily have to “do” much, but they have to be more than a sounding board delivering lines in a flat, dry sort of way.

In the world of video games, characterisation may be frequently exaggerated, but it often leads to memorable encounters — particularly if you spend a protracted amount of time with said characters, as you frequently tend to do in RPGs. JRPGs, for all their faults and linearity, often present the strongest characters in all of gaming, even though many of them tend to fall into the cliché trap. Despite this, though, if you’ve engaged with the gameplay sufficiently over the course of the 20/40/50/90/100 hours it takes to beat whatever RPG you’re playing then you’ll probably find yourself missing those characters when the time comes to leave them behind.

On the Western front, BioWare are often regarded as masters of characterisation, and indeed characters such as Mordin in Mass Effect 2 and Shale in Dragon Age: Origins are pretty memorable. But very often when I beat a BioWare game, I don’t find myself wishing I could spend more time with those characters in quite the same way I do when I beat a Persona game, or as I anticipate I’m going to feel when Xenoblade Chronicles eventually comes to an end.

Video games are, in some ways, a more unrefined medium than other formats. Technical limitations often get in the way of being able to make use of techniques used in, say, film or writing. Writing in particular allows the author to explore a character in a level of detail arguably unrivalled by any other medium. Of course, said author has to be careful not to give away too much too soon, otherwise the pacing of the character’s story is thrown out of whack and the reader might not feel inclined to go on. Getting to know a character should be a gradual process — that doesn’t necessarily mean that a chapter of their “dark past” comes to light at a time, since a character doesn’t need a dark past to be interesting — but each hour the audience spends in the company of that character should be like getting to know a real person. You start to recognise that character’s traits, their likes, dislikes, foibles, weaknesses and the forms of adversity in which they find they can stand the strongest.

There’s an occasionally-mentioned piece of writers’ wisdom that states that to make the best stories, you have to be as mean as possible to your main character. While following a protagonist’s struggles is often entertaining, it doesn’t necessarily have to involve them being kidnapped, tortured, raped, mutilated and all manner of other things. Psychological torment can be profoundly affecting, too — and different characters have different triggers by which they can be psychologically traumatised. For one strong-stomached character, it might only be the most depraved and horrendous images imaginable that could torment their mind and keep them awake at night. For another, it could be something as simple as the fact that the guy at the coffee shop didn’t pay them as much attention as they would have liked. Characters are people, after all — and like people, they’re all different.

Inventing your characters is one of the most fun parts of creative writing. Figuring out what to do with these characters is the challenging bit that comes afterwards. Get your head around that and you’ve got yourself a story.

#oneaday, Day 1: Dawn of the First Day

I am aware of the factual inaccuracies in the title of this post. It is neither my first day writing #oneaday blogs, nor is it dawn. However, there are two reasons for naming it as I have: firstly, any excuse to get in a Zelda: Majora’s Mask reference, and secondly, since the other members of the 2011 One A Day Project have all started today at number 1, I thought I would join them so as not to look too much like the grizzled old veteran that I am. Rest assured, there will be celebrations when I reach the end of my first year, though. Assuming I remember. (19th of January. Remind me.)

As it’s a new year, a new beginning and a shiny new number “1” at the top of this post, I thought I would take the opportunity to introduce myself to those new readers that the One A Day Project has hopefully brought to my blog. Those of you I already know, bear with me for today and I’ll get back to slagging things off tomorrow.

I’m Pete. I’m 29, and unemployed. 2010 was the worst year of my life, taking in the end of my employment, the end of my marriage, the end of my finances and the end of my independent status as Someone Who Does Not Live With Their Parents. All of the above are related to one another, at least in passing.

But as 2010 was a year of endings, January 1st 2011 seems like a good time to think about new beginnings. And what better way to consider new beginnings than with some new year’s resolutions? Here goes, then.

I will blog every day from January 1st, 2011 until December 31st, 2011 (and possibly beyond) come rain, come shine, come sickness, come health, come on holiday, come in a sock (sorry), come not really having any time or being really drunk of an evening. I’ve kept up this daily blog since January 19th last year and I have no intention of stopping now.
I will go for a run three times a week, on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday where possible. Those of you who have been following me for a while will know that towards the end of the year I successfully completed the Couch 2 5K programme, which turned me from a fat bastard into a fat bastard who can run for up to 30 minutes non-stop, albeit quite slowly.
I will embark on a wide array of erotic adventures with a bevy of voluptuous redheads, all of whom either are or at least vaguely resemble Christina Hendricks.*
~~I will fuck up the tax man good and proper.~~ I will attempt to figure out why the taxman still thinks I am self-employed despite having gone from full-time employment to unemployment in the last few years. Then I will fuck him up good and proper.**
I will get a job.***
I will earn enough money to get somewhere to live that has a living room big enough for a Kinect and Dance Central.****
I will speak my mind and not bottle stuff up like a +5 Cauldron of Resentment.
I will complete Final Fantasy XII.
I will make a sizable dent in my gaming Pile of Shame.*****
I will not play World of Warcraft.
I will actually finish writing the story I’ve had stuck in my head for the last ten years and which has gone through more rewrites than an aborted metaphor involving something that gets rewritten a lot. (12,000 words so far. On the story, not the metaphor. That would be a metaphor of Dickensian proportions.)
I will have no shame in my diverse, occasionally cheesy, occasionally really really gay musical tastes.******
I will stop being so gay on Twitter.*******

I think that’s quite enough to be getting on with, and all of them are totally achievable. Setting yourself realistic targets is the key.

So, now that you know a little bit about me (and will undoubtedly learn more either by reading back over my past entries, which I promise I will do a “Best Of” one day when I can be bothered) you’re probably confused by that comic strip at the top of each post. Spoiler: I am also a little confused by the comic strip at the top of each post. I’m not quite sure how it happened, but I think it’s Allie Brosh’s fault. That minx. But suffice to say, yes, I have made the questionable decision to accompany every blog post with a silly little cartoon drawn in the Mac equivalent of MS Paint and laid out with frankly unnecessary care and attention using Comic Life Magiq.

You’ll notice a few recurring faces in these strips. Here are the most common ones:

Pete

Pete is a 29-year old unemployed ~~bum~~ ~~geek~~ writer aiming to make his way in the world. He lives in a featureless apartment of indeterminate size with several other peculiar characters and seems to attract surreal situations to himself like moths to a Dali-esque flame.

Alex

Alex believes herself to be “the sensible one”, despite having a boy’s name. However, Pete isn’t convinced that she is as sensible as she likes to make out due to two fact: firstly, she reads Grazia magazine, and secondly, she has slept with Phillipe on more than one occasion.

Phillipe

Phillipe gets terribly upset when people spell his name wrong, but it’s often difficult to tell due to his odd facial expression, acquired when he discovered that the stories your parents tell you about “sticking like it” are all true. He is also a massive pervert, and gets his penis out at every opportunity.

Lucy

Lucy hates blonde stereotypes but unfortunately conforms to every single one of them. She is not terribly bright and occasionally descends into saying text-speak out loud. She is, however, a cheerful soul and is rarely seen without a smile on her face. She likes coffee and kittens. Not together.

Des

The personification of Pete’s “black cloud of despair” which he felt on numerous occasions throughout the last year. Des eventually became his own independent entity and made friends with Alex over a cup of tea. Pete has defeated him once, but he occasionally pops in for a social visit.

The MoneyBot

The MoneyBot’s sole purpose is to monetize everything. Unfortunately, a glitch in his programming means that he only ever attempts to monetize people—a process which he carries out by shooting people in their genitals with a green Monetizing Ray. The process is reversible, and he may be a dream.

There. Consider yourself primed for the year ahead. Good luck to my fellow One A Day Project bloggers. And readers? Don’t forget to pay the official site a visit and donate either your time or money to Cancer Research UK or To Write Love On Her Arms to show your appreciation for everyone’s awesome creativity.

Thank you!

* A guy can dream, huh.

** Note to overzealous policemen: I will not actually fuck up “the taxman” because I am aware the Inland Revenue employs many people from diverse cultures who could probably take me in a fight if they all teamed up and formed a Constructocon.

*** Subject to the “job market”, or whatever people blame the lack of jobs on.

**** It’s wrong that I’m a little too enamoured with Dance Central, I know. But honey, I got rhythm that I haven’t used yet.

***** Subject to Anything Really Good coming out.

****** Already achieved. I am listening to Ke$ha while writing this post.

******* I make no promises as to being able to fulfil this one, particularly while @acronkyoung and @NintendoTheory are around. No homo.

#oneaday, Day 211: The Only Art Lesson You Will Ever Need

“I can’t draw!” I hear you cry, assuming you’re shouting about not being able to draw at this exact moment, which you probably aren’t. But no matter! Help is at hand. You don’t have to be an excellent artist to be able to draw things that are distinctive and interesting. I’m going to let you into the secrets of my own craft which you have doubtless seen throughout this blog. The art of the stickman.

I’ll tell you a secret: I can draw. Sort of. Not great, and I’ve never studied it or had any particularly formal training. But I can sort of draw. I just choose not to when it comes to the pictures on this blog, because ever since secondary school when my good buddy Ed “Roth Dog” Padgett and I discovered that stickmen are actually the most expressive things in the universe, we’ve often chosen to stick to stickmen, no pun intended. On a side note, Roth actually can draw, as you’ll see here.

But anyway. Let’s begin.

Step 1: Pose

When you’re drawing a stick person, the first thing you need to consider is what they’re going to be doing. Since the body is very simple and you’re going to spend most of the time on the face, this is a simple matter of making a quick decision. Most people stick to the traditional model (figure 1, but you can get stick figures doing all manner of weird and wonderful things (figure 2) even before you’ve put a face on them. Remember to add feet. Feet make poses more versatile. Adding feet to your stickmen is the difference between standing casually and tapping its foot impatiently.

Step 2a: Normal faces

The next step, which a lot of people leave out, stopping at step 1, is to add a face to your stickman. You only need three lines to put a face on a stickman. Two vertical lines for eyes, and one horizontal or curvy line for a mouth. These lines can be modified to produce a variety of expressions (figure 3).

Fig. 3: Possible stickman facial expressions.

Step 2b: Open-mouthed faces

If one of the closed-mouth expressions just isn’t expressing things expressively enough for you, then you may wish to consider opening your stickman’s mouth. What you put inside your stickman’s mouth can make a large amount of difference to what the expression means (figure 4).

Step 2c: Exaggerated faces

If none of the above faces are quite getting across what you are trying to say with your stickman, then simply throw any semblance of realism out of the window and do something ridiculous. These are stickmen, after all. They can do whatever the hell you damn well want (figure 5).

Step 3: Detail

Once you’ve come up with a pose and a face, all you need to do is add some individuality to the stickman by adding some detail. This is normally done via the medium of hair. Creating different stickman characters is a simple matter of giving them different hairstyles. No-one will ever notice that they have the same faces and poses. You can even change a stick person’s gender at the drop of a hat simply by changing the hairstyle (figure 6).

And with just those three steps, you are officially done! You have created your own unique character. Congratulations. You’re a cartoonist.