1164: Urgh

I’m exhausted. Mentally and physically. It’s one of those times of year where everything seems to be dull, grey and miserable, both literally and metaphorically. It’s cold outside, it’s often raining or snowing, everyone is getting pissy with everyone else and I’d just quite like Existence to be a bit nicer, please.

The thing I think I’m finding most tiresome and exhausting at the moment is how short everyone’s fuse on the Internet seems to be at the moment. I’m not even on Twitter any more and I’m still seeing stupid, ill-informed, pointless arguments erupting all the time. I’m deliberately avoiding all of them because I know from past experience attempting to provide some sort of rational viewpoint on any even vaguely “hot-button” issue will just get everyone yelling at you for no apparent reason. If they want to yell at each other, fine; it’s just frustrating to see it happening, and Facebook’s refusal to allow users to take control of their experience so they can insert advertising into mental orifices you didn’t know you had means that it’s all but unavoidable.

The current thing that seems to be getting everyone riled up is the current gay marriage Supreme Court thing that’s going on in the States. Not being American, I don’t know all the details of what’s happening but I know my feelings on gay marriage, which are as follows: if you love each other and would both like to get married, you should be able to get married, whoever you are. Simple as that.

But this isn’t about my views on gay marriage or indeed anyone else’s views on gay marriage; rather, it’s about one of those “Internet solidarity” things where everyone changes their avatar to the same thing to show support for a cause, “get people talking” and “raise awareness”. I personally think that this is an idea that never works properly (I wrote about it when it happened for a different issue here) and sparks more arguments than it raises awareness — particularly when people don’t explain what their sudden change to an abstract avatar is all about — but ultimately it’s something that people are going to do if they think it helps, and I’ve learned it’s really not worth arguing over.

Why? Because no-one on the Internet actually listens to anyone else. (That’s a generalisation. There are exceptions. But check out any comments thread on a hot-button issue like this and you’ll see.) People stick staunchly to their viewpoint and refuse to entertain the possibility of acknowledging (let alone embracing) an alternative outlook. And because people on both sides are so resolute that Their Way is the Right Way, tempers inevitably flare, people start calling each other hypocrites and trawling back over old social media posts to find that one post they know where their opponent did something that doesn’t match up with the viewpoint they’re advocating now.

I’m tired of it. Really tired. And I feel selfish saying that, but I’m saying it anyway. I’m tired of feeling like the exhausted teacher sitting at the front of the room powerless to do anything while a classroom full of children fight over silly “he said, she said” quarrels that aren’t really addressing anything at all. (I speak from experience.)

I remember in the early days of the Internet, when communication with like-minded strangers was exciting. I remember spending hours on CompuServe’s “CB Simulator” chat room talking to people — I even made some actual friends through it. I remember being polite and treating strangers with respect, and I remember them doing likewise. I remember being excited about this awesome-seeming future whereby anyone in the world could communicate with anyone else at the touch of a button.

Fast forward fifteen years or so and everyone is using this frankly amazing technology to call each other wankers. Good job, world.