2362: Geralt’s Private Dicking

I’ve been enjoying The Witcher 3 so far. It’s a lovely looking game with an interesting plot, some great characters and a shitload of things to do.

To a certain extent, I almost wish it was an adventure game rather than an RPG.

The reason I say this is that The Witcher 3, much like its predecessors, is at its absolute finest when presenting protagonist Geralt with quests that are much more complex than “go to x and kill y”. Which, to be fair, is most of them, since The Witcher has never really done the whole “bring me 15 squirrel ears” thing, thankfully. However, the real highlights of the game are the quests that involve a lengthy investigation of something strange that has been happening.

These quests, of which there are numerous, play out in a similar manner to something like the enormously underrated Murdered: Soul Suspect, requiring you to comb crime scenes for information (perhaps using Geralt’s heightened Witcher Senses) and come to some conclusions of your own as to what happened. Many of these quests have branching paths and different consequences for how you choose to proceed in them, too, making for an interesting experience where you never feel like you’ve made the “wrong” choice.

Since the world of The Witcher is one of dark fantasy, a lot of the things Geralt ends up investigating are pretty gruesome and horrifying. But, as with most people who deal with the unpleasant on a daily basis, Geralt has both a strong stomach and a wry sense of very black humour.

Herein lies one of the biggest strengths of the whole Witcher series when compared to the interminable tedium of Bethesda’s Elder Scrolls series: personality. Despite the fact you can build Geralt’s abilities how you see fit as he levels up, he is a strongly written character in his own right. Sure, there’s a certain degree of leeway in how much of an asshole you can be to people throughout, mostly in order to allow for various different conclusions to narrative threads, but even with these options available, Geralt is still a well-defined character who maintains a consistent personality throughout the whole game. Whole series, in fact; he’s grown and changed over the course of the three games he’s been in to date, but he’s still recognisably Geralt.

I’m intrigued to see how well-paced the whole game is. It’s entirely possible to avoid the story-based quests altogether and just go hooning around the countryside on horseback looking for “points of interest” to clear, which usually involve killing monsters or bandits, but this gets a bit tiresome after a while. Instead, the best way to play, it seems, is to focus on a quest and where it takes you, pick up any other quests you might find on your way between key locations, and perhaps drop in on any points of interest that come up on your journey if they’re not too far out of your way. Attempting to “grind” your way through each of the game’s maps by methodically clearing out all the points of interest is clearly a way to drive yourself to insanity, and indeed it’s precisely because I did this in Oblivion that I grew to hate the Elder Scrolls games. (Well, that coupled with their complete lack of personality and atrocious storytelling, anyway.) Thankfully, it’s not necessary; it takes only a thousand experience points to gain each and every level, and completing quests is by far the most efficient means of getting said experience points, so in many ways the game is actively pushing you towards its most interesting things to do, which is absolutely fine by me.

Been playing for 18 hours so far and Geralt hasn’t shagged anyone yet, though; wonder if I’m doing something wrong…