#oneaday Day 43: Regrets, But Not Why You Think

I had a few drinks this evening, and I am now feeling regrets. Not because I’ve drunk too much or are smashed off my face or anything, but because it just felt like a big waste of time, and it’s a whole lot of “bad stuff” that probably won’t help the weight loss.

I’ve been feeling a curious… absence of anything any time I’ve tried drinking in the last few years. The most I feel is getting a bit hot and flushed after a couple of whatevers, but I can’t remember the last time I felt genuinely merry, tipsy or drunk.

On balance, this is probably a good thing, because being drunk tends to lead to doing and/or saying stupid things, but it’s also a bit of a shame that drinking appears to have become an activity that I derive no joy from whatsoever, whereas back in my student days it was inevitably a central part of social occasions, and I have plenty of stories involving drunken nights out.

I attribute this to a few things. Firstly, I’m not getting any younger, though I know age doesn’t necessarily preclude anyone from enjoying a drink or two to the degree that they feel they’re affecting them. Secondly, I haven’t been really fucking drunk for… probably at least ten years at this point, possibly more. I would have thought that would make my tolerance drop to rock bottom, but as noted above, I just feel… nothing, really.

Probably the most significant reason that I derive no joy from drinking is because I’ve seen what overreliance on alcohol can do to a person and the people around them, on more than one occasion. Thankfully all the people I have known with such a problem are all comfortably recovering now, but I still can’t help but be reminded of the things I saw and heard when things were really bad.

In fact, I’d probably go so far as to say that I’m probably traumatised by such things. I hasten to add that nothing irreversibly bad happened to or was done to me by or as a result of the person who had the problem, but I will say that you should never assume the person directly suffering with alcohol-related issues is the only one who needs support. I went through some rather dark times of my own, and I suspect residual feelings towards those dark times have resulted in me drawing no joy from alcohol today.

As I say, it’s a bit of a shame, because I always used to enjoy a boozy night out with friends, and indeed there are almost certainly entries in the depths of this blog’s archives that outline exactly how and why I enjoyed such occasions. But for any and/or all of the reasons outlined above — plus the fact I rarely see “friends” in general at all these days, particularly post-COVID — that’s just not something that is anywhere even vaguely near the top of my priority list these days.

Every time I’ve had a drink or two in the last few years, I’ve felt something like this. So I think it might just be time to say that enough is enough, I don’t need or want alcohol in my life, and leave it at that. I guess that part of my life is passed.

Which, as I say, is probably a good thing, on balance.

Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.

#oneaday Day 42: Melting

It is so hot here right now. The sun’s gone down but it’s still sweltering. Those who live in typically warmer climes often like to mock us here in the UK for complaining about the heat when it gets anywhere over 25 degrees C, but this is a country built on the assumption that your average day will be grey and miserable, probably drizzling slightly. Consequently, all our houses are built to trap heat and stay warm, even when you emphatically do not wish them to.

We made the wise investment of a portable air conditioner a couple of years back, and that lives in the bedroom, meaning that we can at least get some sleep in a bearable temperature. The rest of the house is festooned in fans, too, which help a little bit but not quite enough. There comes a point where all they’re doing is blowing the hot air around a bit, which is better than it just sort of hanging there in that suffocating way it does, but not enough to really cool you off.

It’s these kinds of conditions that make you wish you’d remembered to put some of your cans of drink in the fridge rather than leaving them in the back room, a room with a lot of windows which, unsurprisingly, gets very warm at times like this. (I have now put a bunch of drinks in the fridge, so at least in a few hours I can have something actually cold.) I tell you: warm Irn Bru Xtra is not good.

The one vague positive is that it’s time for ice cream. Ice cream is a great delight and joy, and I sincerely doubt the words of anyone who doesn’t say they feel at least a bit of the same joy they felt as a child when the ice creams come out. Despite owning a breadmaker and an air fryer, we haven’t quite reached the middle class status where we’re making our own ice cream; just a well-stocked freezer with a selection of both creamy and fruity treats is just the ticket at a time like this.

Now, my brain is dribbling out of my ears somewhat, so I think I’m going to go and have one of those aforementioned ice creams and do something that requires minimal thought.

#oneaday Day 41: Dawntrail Ponderings

I’m probably going to do a “big” writeup on Final Fantasy XIV: Dawntrail when I’ve actually beaten the main story, but I thought I’d post some musings this evening.

For the unfamiliar, Dawntrail is the fifth expansion to Final Fantasy XIV after Heavensward, Stormblood, Shadowbringers and Endwalker. It was in an interesting position before it started, because Endwalker, as the name suggests, brought the story of Final Fantasy XIV, as it had existed right from the abandoned version 1.0, to a very definitive conclusion.

Without getting too much into specifics for the sake of spoilers, I’ll say that they handled it in probably the best way they could have done: treat the new storyline as basically a complete fresh start. You cross the ocean to be far away from the landmass and surrounding islands the base game and previous five expansions (mostly) took place on, and come to learn about a territory we, as players, have previously not really heard much about.

One of the interesting things about Dawntrail is the timing of its release. I don’t know how much of it was deliberate, but given that the first half of the game is very much about overcoming prejudice and standing together for the good of everyone, it feels… timely, given the various things that are happening around the world right now. It feels like it’s going “this is how things could be if people would just stop being dicks to each other”, and it’s honestly nice.

Again, without spoiling things, this is just half of Dawntrail, however. I would forgive anyone for thinking that the first half of Dawntrail is a bit “slow” in comparison to previous Final Fantasy XIV expansions, but that’s entirely deliberate. Since the overall story is basically something of a “reboot” — or perhaps it’s more accurate to call it a “sequel” — it makes sense that there needs to be plenty of work done to establish the new setting and its important characters. Sure, plenty of old favourites crop up, because it wouldn’t be Final Fantasy XIV without them, but you spend a lot of your time with the new cast.

Stick with that relatively “peaceful” first half, though, and things get Very Real beyond that halfway point. If you were concerned that Dawntrail wouldn’t conclude with some sort of earth-shattering cataclysm for the Warrior of Light to avert in cooperation with her trusty companions, then rest assured that cataclysmic happenings are very much in evidence, and they hit all the harder for how long you spent getting to know everyone in the first half.

Again, this feels timely. After the game goes “this is how things could be”, it then goes “and this is also how things could be”, working on the assumption that something goes horribly wrong somewhere. The message of mutual cooperation and overcoming prejudice is still very much in evidence, but it takes on something of a new meaning in the context of the game’s second half.

That’s all I’ll say for the moment, because I’m a relatively short way into that second half, and I feel I stopped this evening just before what is going to be a fairly critical moment. (It is late and the cat is bugging me to go to bed.) It’s definitely living up to the standards of its illustrious predecessors, though, and I’m glad about that. I’ve spent so much time in Final Fantasy XIV now, it’s like a long-running TV show; I want to keep following these characters, learning about the world they inhabit and see them overcome all sorts of challenges. And there are clearly plenty more challenges ahead.

#oneaday Day 40: The Cat’s Routine

One of our cats, Patti, is very set in her ways, to a degree that I don’t think I’ve seen in any other cat. She has Her Routine, and we must adhere to Her Routine, otherwise she gets very shouty at us.

The Routine begins anywhere between 5am and 8am with her telling me (not my wife) to wake up. This is accomplished through a combination of standing on me, yelling at me and tapping me with her paw, inevitably with just enough claw extended to make it slightly painful, and inevitably somewhere that you really don’t want a claw, such as my eyelid or lip.

Once I am up, she will continue to yell at me until I go downstairs and put some biscuits in her bowl, which she may or may not deign to eat. Around this time, I must also provide Oliver, the other cat, with some wet food, because he likes wet food and is a growing boy. (Patti should not have wet food, because she tends to throw it up almost immediately. She often ends up eating Oliver’s leftovers, which is usually fine for her apparently delicate digestion to cope with.)

After this breakfast routine is done with, she will almost certainly disappear somewhere in the house for a significant portion of the day. It might be on the windowsill in our bedroom, it might be behind my desk in my study, it might be under my chair in my study, it might be on “her” stool in the spare bedroom. We do not know what she is up to during these hours, but we have determined that if she does not wish to be found, she will not be found. On more than one occasion this has caused a mild panic.

At some point during the day, she will emerge from wherever she was hiding and start hassling me at my desk. This usually takes the form of sitting between my legs and occasionally clawing my knees and thighs. To date, I have not determined what, if anything, she actually wants when this part of The Routine is unfolding. Sometimes she wants a refill of her glass of water — oh yes, both cats refuse to drink out of their water bowls and instead prefer to have a glass left for them: one in the living room, one on the upstairs landing — and sometimes she wants attention. Sometimes I swear she’s just doing it to be annoying.

At some point between 10pm and 11pm, she will decide that it is time for bed. If we are in the hallway, she will attempt to lead us up the stairs. If we are not making any movements that look like they might conclude in the bedroom, she will hassle me (not my wife) repeatedly until I comply with The Routine.

Once in the bedroom, she will sit in Patti Spot on the corner of the bed, usually getting slightly in the way but not enough for me to want to move her, and sleep there for most of the night. Sometimes she will disappear for a while during the night — often to go and eat — but she is usually there in the morning, ready for The Routine to begin anew.

As set in her ways as she is, I could probably learn something from her. And, given that she’s in the “yelling at me to go to bed” stage, that’s probably what I should go and do.

#oneaday Day 39: Breaking Point

Had a bit of a meltdown earlier. Thankfully, I managed to direct it inwards rather than at anyone else, and I successfully channelled its energy into tidying some of the shit up around the house. So that’s something, at least. Now I just feel kind of drained and empty.

I’d been building to something like this for a while, and I suspect I’m not out of this particular funk just yet, but heading along to Slimming World this evening and discovering I’d put a bunch of weight back on was just my mind’s breaking point. I was upset and angry at myself, more than anything, because I know that weight gain was entirely deserved — I’ve not been focusing on the things I’ve been eating as much as I should be if I want to see results, and I’ve gotten away with doing so for probably more weeks than I should have.

A situation like this is a good opportunity for a change, but the frustrating thing is that when such a thing occurs, I find myself wishing that I could correct the mistake immediately. But it doesn’t work like that; undoing bad habits takes time and effort, and you don’t necessarily see results right away. The important thing is to acknowledge that you fucked up, be at peace with the fact you fucked up, and then take steps to ensure that you do not fuck up again for at least a little while.

So I stopped at the shops on the way home and got some healthy eats that will see me through the next few days. We’re in a bit of an awkward position food-wise right now in that Andie is suffering some sort of mouth malady (likely an abscess under a root canal she had done a while back) and can’t really eat much. That means I’m generally having to sort shit out for myself, and if anyone has ever attempted to feed themselves well as an individual person, you’ll know that most things tend to be sold on the assumption that you are cooking for two.

That means you inevitably end up with too much stuff, which either means cooking too much stuff and having leftovers — not the end of the world — or using half the ingredients and risking the other half going off. I think we’ve all been successfully conditioned to (rightly) recognise that food waste is a bit of a sin, so I always feel a bit bad when I have to chuck stuff out, but it always feels a bit… constricting when you know you’re either going to be eating the same thing two days in a row, or having to come up with something creative to do with the other ingredients you have in the fridge.

Anyway, long story short: this upset in our normal routine has kind of disrupted me making an effort to watch what I eat. To be fair, I was already kind of falling off the wagon a bit before Andie’s troubles happened, but the situation just sort of compounded itself. But I know that is silly, so the stuff I picked up earlier should last a few days at least, and be suitable for individual portions or making an easy big batch of stuff that I can portion out and have the remainder as leftovers as required.

You may think I’m overthinking this and I probably am, but that is the nature of my autistic brain and its thought processes. I am now doing my best to not sit here stewing being pissed off at myself, so I think some well-earned video games are probably in order.

#oneaday Day 38: The Mystery of Mario500

Earlier today, I was reading an article on retro gaming site Time Extension. The article was quite interesting — it was about the struggles academics were encountering in getting today’s students (18 year olds) to engage with anything other than Minecraft or Fortnite. It’s a good read, and I encourage you to take a few minutes and give it a look.

That’s not what I want to talk about today, though. I want to talk about this comment I found underneath it.

A screenshot of a comment from the website "Time Extension". The comment is by a user named "Mario500", and is dated "Yesterday, 2:01pm". The comment reads "(note: the creator of this message was unable to finish reading this article immediately upon finding vulgar (or profane) language among its text)".

The “vulgar (or profane) language”, by the way, was the word “damn”, used in the context of the phrase “didn’t give a damn”.

Intrigued, I decided to delve into “Mario500″‘s comment history. And what I found didn’t make things any clearer. Because this is what I found:

A screenshot of Mario500's comment history. There are too many comments in the image to include in this alt text, but you can read them all at https://www.timeextension.com/users/Mario500/comments

I was immediately fascinated. Who is this person, and why do they seem to think they’re the editor of Time Extension? Why do they ask questions about things a regular reader of Time Extension — and particularly a Nintendo fan — would almost inevitably be very familiar with? Why do they constantly refer to themselves in the third person (except in their earliest comments)? Why do they put everything in brackets?

I’m particularly fascinated by their apparent inability to understand sarcasm or exaggeration for comic effect, but for the life of me I cannot work out if they’re taking the piss, if it’s someone who really does think and talk like this — entirely possible that they’re someone on the autistic spectrum, for example — or if they’re a bot.

The bizarrely Puritan attitude throughout is odd, too. Besides the initial “vulgar (or profane) language”, there’s another comment that uses the exact same phrasing, along with one that offers “(suggestion: no hoping for swearing)” when an interview with a fan translator expresses that they hope the official release of a game keeps the naughty language intact, and possibly my favourite, “(suggestion: never insult thy self (or any other (separate) self))” in response to an article writer self-deprecatingly calling themselves a “moron” for selling their Gamecube setup.

I’m intrigued by Mario500’s first comment, too. It lacks the later “gimmicky” elements of their subsequent replies, instead simply stating “This article could have been much more objective if I were involved in its creation.”

They offer no further explanation of exactly how they would make the article — a lengthy feature about the history of media mogul Robert Maxwell’s involvement in the games industry — any more “objective” than it already is, but chances are they, for some reason, took umbrage at the description of Maxwell’s “shady business practices” in the article. But, I mean, those are pretty established facts at this point; no amount of “objectivity” (which, under these sorts of circumstances, generally means “stop saying mean things about bad people I like”) can really spin it another way. Maxwell was a shit; he didn’t deserve to die (probably), but he was still a shit.

(note: the creator of this message was unable to finish reading this article immediately upon finding vulgar (or profane) language among its text)

Anyway, I’m baffled. The rest of their profile on Time Extension is completely barren, they rarely get responses to their bizarre comments and I’m still not entirely unconvinced that they’re a bot.

Still, it was a mild diversion earlier today. I thought you might be interested to see the stranger side of the Internet.

#oneaday Day 37: Late Again

I’ve gone and left writing this until some ungodly hour in the morning again. It tends to happen when my mood is low; I stay up later than I should, which inevitably means I’ll have trouble getting up in the morning. Likely no gym or swimming tomorrow, then — I value a good night’s sleep more than a fitness regime. I’ll get an early night tomorrow night though and go on Tuesday morning.

I decided after a lot of umming and ahhing to treat myself to Gas Station Simulator. I have a lot of time for these games that take something mundane and turn them into a relatively entertaining, but not super-demanding experience — Square Enix and FuturLab’s Power Wash Simulator is probably the most well known, but there are a fair few out there now. Gas Station Simulator appears to be one of the more polished ones, and while it’s still prone to Perpetual Indie Game Roadmap Syndrome, it is, at least, in its current state, a “finished” game.

I like what I’ve seen so far. There’s a nice combination of relatively mindless “clean up the shit” gameplay combined with a bit of time management, a bit of finance management and a bit of self-expression through customising your environment. The titular gas station you find yourself taking ownership of is a complete shithole when you first acquire it, so you have a lot of work to do, though it doesn’t take that much to get it looking vaguely presentable — enough to keep customers stopping for fuel in the middle of the desert happy, at least.

I’m interested in what it will look like in the late game, though. I anticipate that once you get the money rolling in fairly reliably, you’ll be able to do a lot more with the overall decor of both the station itself and its various supporting buildings. At present I can just paint stuff and buy a few decorations, but I’m hoping for some more options once I unlock some more of the game features.

Because yes, in true 2024 game tradition, this isn’t a game that gives you the keys to a sandbox and lets you loose; rather, you work your way through a series of objectives that introduce you to the various mechanics one at a time, gradually building on top of each other to make the game a little more complex with each passing hour. I mock it for doing this, but it’s a sound approach, particularly when you’re dealing with a game that, as this does, appears to have plenty of moving parts to contend with.

Thus far I have the fuel pumps, the station itself (which acts as a shop) and I’ve just unlocked a car repairing garage. At present, I have to do everything, but I understand at some point in the game you can hire employees to automate some or all of it. That’s going to be interesting; will the game remain entertaining if you’re no longer having to frantically dash between different areas to do stuff?

Anyway, that remains to be seen. I played for far too long and now it’s late. So I will report further on my findings once I have had some sleep. Here’s hoping I’m through the “trough” my mental health has been going through and it’s onwards and upwards from here.

#oneaday Day 36: In My Thoughts

I dreamed about our dearly departed cat Meg last night and into this morning, which caused me to wake up feeling rather maudlin. My general mental wellbeing didn’t really improve for most of the day, but I did manage to distract myself with some gaming, so that’s something.

I’ve just come off a Dawntrail session, and I’m making good progress with that, but I’ve also been flitting around between a couple of other things today.

First of these is Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story?, which is a lightweight management sim sort of game in which you run a spy agency, train up spies and send them out on missions. It’s quite fun and silly, though I haven’t felt any real “challenge” from it as yet. I don’t know how long it is but I suspect I’m quite early on in it so far; I wonder how it will up the challenge factor, and if it will do so by something more interesting than “require bigger numbers”.

I started playing this because I’ve been having a bit of a hankering for that kind of game of late, and it’s one of those genres that it doesn’t feel like we have that many good modern examples of. Management sims were all the rage in the late ’90s and early ’00s, but it feels like they were one of those genres that got a bit left behind in the move to 3D. Modern 3D examples do exist — the Two Point games, which are successors to Bullfrog’s Theme titles, are a good example — but it’s kind of telling that stuff like Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story? is still presented in isometric quasi-3D artwork rather than polygons.

I don’t know if I’ll stick with it so far, as there are a number of other “sim”-type games I’m interested in having a fiddle with — after watching Game Grumps play Gas Station Simulator I actually quite fancy a go at that, for one — but what I’ve played so far does seem fun, and despite the relative lack of challenge in what I’ve played, manages to remain free of being patronising in a mobile game style.

The other thing I gave a shot for a bit earlier is Spiderweb Software’s Avadon: The Black Fortress. I’ve been meaning to try a Spiderweb game for some time, but never got around to it and never quite new which one was best to start with. So I just picked one and gave it a go for a bit.

For the unfamiliar, Spiderweb Software make traditional CRPGs in the western style; that means they unfold rather like old Infinity Engine D&D games, or perhaps later Ultima titles. Avadon actually sounds like it might be a bit of a departure in that it’s less “freeform” in its structure — thus far it’s been quite heavily “mission-based”, and you have relatively limited options to build your characters — but it sounds as if it’s well-regarded, and many folks seem to think that the streamlined (not necessarily simplified) mechanics allow its story to shine a bit more. And it’s certainly got some nicely written text in it.

Again, don’t know if I’ll stick with it, but I’m glad I’ve broken the seal and started giving it a go. I like what I see so far — although it seems the game is light on music, which is a shame, as I do like a stirring orchestral accompaniment for my western-style CRPGs.

And Dawntrail. I won’t say too much about this for the sake of spoilers in case anyone reading this is planning to play it, but the thing that struck me while playing this evening is that this is a story the world really needs right now. There’s lots of tolerance and understanding and learning about different cultures, and it just feels like such a marked, likely deliberate contrast to the intolerance and general shittiness around in the world at the moment. I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes next, as I’ve reached a particularly significant moment in the narrative.

Anyway, it’s nearly 2am and my cat Patti is bugging me to go to bed, so I should probably do that. Here’s hoping for a restful night’s sleep.

I miss you, Meg.

#oneaday Day 35: Lay Me Down to Sleep

I’m exhausted, physically and mentally. I think mostly mentally, but that in turn is making me feel physically exhausted. The world just seems to be such a frustratingly relentless parade of shit at the moment that just existing is tiring. So although it’s not even 10pm at the time of writing, I think I might just go to bed after this.

Unlike times gone by, I can thankfully say that it’s not really my life that has gone to shit as such, but I’m not sure that’s any great comfort. At least if there is something wrong in my life — and plenty of things are, don’t get me wrong — it’s possible to take action and do something about it.

But when you feel like the entire world is just collectively going insane, and there’s fuck all you can do about it? That’s exhausting. Whether it’s the constant enshittification of today’s services, the ever-increasing cost of living or the utterly stupid obsession with AI — all three of which are related to varying degrees, I’d say — it just feels like the world is moving in an unhealthy direction, and no matter how much you say “hang on a minute” there’s nothing that you, as one person, can do.

I won’t lie, I’m a little concerned for my pals in America right now, because they seem to be staring down a bit of a no-win situation when it comes to the upcoming presidential elections. On the one side, you have Trump, who is just an outright fucking maniac, and on the other, you have Biden, whose age is starting to make people question his suitability for the role. Given the choice, it seems like picking the old man is the sensible thing to do, but America never seems to make things that simple. After all, they already elected Trump into office once; while most people would probably agree that was a terrible idea, I have a strange feeling that it might happen again.

And while I feel a certain sense of solidarity with others online expressing similar concerns about the immediate and medium-term future, I also feel very alone. Ever since COVID hit, I’ve felt completely isolated aside from being with my wife, and it’s done a real number on my self-confidence and self-esteem. I feel like I could do with some sort of support network when I’m feeling like this, and I just don’t have one. Worse, I don’t really know how to go about putting one together — or indeed reassembling one that I maybe once had.

I always used to think that as you grew older and became more of an “adult” that things would fall into place and become more straightforward. And perhaps they did for previous generations. But for me, right now, each passing year just feels worse and worse, like a sense of comfort and stability is just slipping further and further away. The world has been a place that I don’t feel like I quite fit into for as long as I can remember. And in recent years, that feeling has only been becoming more and more pronounced with everything that’s been happening.

If only it was possible to just completely disconnect from the bad things in the world, and spend your time surrounded by people who care about you, and whom you care about too. I guess I should feel lucky that I have my wife and cats, at the very least; some people don’t even have that.

I’d apologise for the maudlin post, but I made it clear back when I started all this shenanigans again that it was going to be a form of “therapy” for me. And that means getting this stuff off my chest once in a while. I’m sure you understand. Perhaps you even feel the same way. I unfortunately cannot offer any advice or comfort if so, but know, at least, that you are not the only one feeling that way. Not, I suspect, by a long shot.

#oneaday Day 34: It took blatant enshittification before people saw Game Pass for the scourge it is

Recently, Microsoft announced a slew of changes to its Game Pass service, the subscription-based service where you get access to a bunch of games for as long as you pay for it. They have not been received all that well, to say the least, with many quite rightly pointing out that its combination of price hikes and making existing offerings significantly worse is a textbook example of enshittification.

However, prior to all this nonsense, Game Pass had some of the most rabid defenders on the entire Internet. “It’s consumer-friendly!” they’d chant like a mantra. “$12 a month for a whole library of games!”

I don’t know about you, but I consider perpetually paying for something and then not actually having anything to show for it if I decide to stop paying is anything but consumer-friendly. It’s a glorified rental service — and, more to the point, it’s absolute garbage for game makers.

You see, while Microsoft does, on occasion, offer larger developers and publishers flat fees for listing their titles on Game Pass, a lot of developers, particularly smaller ones, have to rely on a “streaming”-style income stream, where they get paid according to how much people play their games. And if you’ve been paying any attention whatsoever to how streaming has been going over the course of the last few years, you’ll know that that is an absolutely terrible deal for the artists involved.

The trouble with the Game Pass model is that it incentivises the very worst practices in the industry. With games making money according to how much they are played, we get games that are ridiculous, unnecessary timesinks. We get “live service” games. We get games that are never actually “finished”, perpetually following a “roadmap” meaning there’s never a good time to start playing because the Next Big Update is always just around the corner.

To put it another way, Game Pass encourages content, not art. It encourages the blandest, most transparent engagement bait, designed to Skinner Box people into believing they’re having a good time while they grind through their mindless Daily Objectives for the umpteenth time. And it’s an attempt to normalise people not owning things. It’s an attempt to ensure that everyone quite happily hands over the keys to their entire media collection for the sake of supposed “convenience” — and don’t ask about the games we remove from the service every month, thank you very much, we try and keep that bit quiet.

“But Game Pass makes me try games I never would have tried otherwise!” the defenders say. Bullshit. If you were interested enough to download a game on Game Pass, you’re interested enough to read up on it, download a demo where it exists or, hell, even purchase it on a digital storefront and refund it if you found it wasn’t actually something you enjoyed. (That’s a practice I kind of abhor, also, but that’s probably a subject for another day.) Taking risks on art is fun! Sometimes you find things you don’t like, sure, but in a lot of cases you’ll be very pleasantly surprised when you try something outside of your usual wheelhouse.

Game Pass is a festering boil on the arse of the industry, and the sooner we lance it, the better. It’s bad for players and it’s bad for the people who make the games. I’m glad there’s some pushback against these latest shitty moves from Microsoft — who seem to have been making a lot of such shitty moves of late, in a variety of areas — but I fear it’s too little, too late. There are already people for whom not buying games and instead “getting it on Game Pass” is the norm, and that’s a problem we’re going to have to address conclusively at some point. Because what we have right now is not by any means sustainable.