2486: One and Only Post About America’s New President

0486_001

America elected Donald Trump, noted toupee wearer and generally unpleasant person, as their President. This is either terrifying or highly amusing — or perhaps a combination of both.

I have no love for Donald Trump. He’s shown himself repeatedly in both social and popular media to be a bigoted twat who frequently speaks without thinking, promising entirely unreasonable things and making objectionable comments about all manner of groups of people. He is not, in short, who I would have voted for as President, were I an American.

I feel that it’s worth contemplating exactly why so many people voted Trump, though, much as it was also worth contemplating why so many people voted Brexit, and why so many people voted for the Conservatives to govern the UK after seemingly widespread dissatisfaction with their previous work and particularly their former leader David Cameron.

This article from The Guardian offers an explanation.

Clinton’s supporters among the media didn’t help much, either. It always struck me as strange that such an unpopular candidate enjoyed such robust and unanimous endorsements from the editorial and opinion pages of the nation’s papers, but it was the quality of the media’s enthusiasm that really harmed her. With the same arguments repeated over and over, two or three times a day, with nuance and contrary views all deleted, the act of opening the newspaper started to feel like tuning in to a Cold War propaganda station. Here’s what it consisted of:

Hillary was virtually without flaws. She was a peerless leader clad in saintly white, a super-lawyer, a caring benefactor of women and children, a warrior for social justice.

Her scandals weren’t real.

The economy was doing well / America was already great.

Working-class people weren’t supporting Trump.

And if they were, it was only because they were botched humans. Racism was the only conceivable reason for lining up with the Republican candidate.

How did the journalists’ crusade fail? The fourth estate came together in an unprecedented professional consensus. They chose insulting the other side over trying to understand what motivated them. They transformed opinion writing into a vehicle for high moral boasting. What could possibly have gone wrong with such an approach?

In short, instead of allowing people to make their own mind up and encouraging them to think critically about both candidates — or the pros and cons of Brexit vs Remain, since a very similar situation unfolded with that vote — the mainstream media attempted to rely on its power over society by clearly marking one option as the “wrong” one. Trump is evil because x,y,z, Brexit is bad because a,b,c. It didn’t stop there, though. It then repeatedly listed all the reasons why you would be a terrible person for voting for the “wrong” option along with all the reasons you would be an absolute paragon of virtue, ally to the oppressed and generally wonderful human being if you voted for the “correct” option.

It may be that if you critically analysed the positions of both options, you still thought that Hillary was the right choice, and if so, great. If it had been left at that, she could have probably won. But people need to reach that conclusion naturally rather than being shepherded away by barbed wire, locked gates and signs saying “DANGER! TRUMP AHEAD”. People, particularly in the age of the Internet, are curious beasts, and if you tell them they can’t or shouldn’t have something, that will only make it more attractive to a particular type of individual. “Why is the media so absolutely adamant that I shouldn’t choose this option?” they’ll think. “What are they trying to hide?”

We are in an age of social media, where buzz and influence can be created artificially to a certain extent, but more commonly it is an organic, natural process that occurs seemingly randomly and at the bitter, twisted and above all unpredictable whims of the great Internet Gods. In this age, where everyone likes to feel like Their Opinion Matters — and where we’re repeatedly told that Our Opinion Matters, even when it clearly doesn’t — people really don’t like to be told what to think. People really don’t like to be talked down to or told that a conclusion they may or may not have reached themselves is “wrong”, or that there is only one “correct” option, regardless of whether or not you personally actually think it’s right for you if you take a closer look at it.

This kind of attitude — a “journalists’ crusade”, as Frank puts it in his Guardian piece — leads to people feeling bitterness and resentment towards the media. We’re already in a place where general trust in the media is at something of a low, so it wouldn’t have taken much to push people into “spiteful” mode, where they deliberately go against whatever the media is telling them to do simply to send a very clear message: we want to make up our own minds, and fuck you for trying to tell us we’re awful people for doing so. There is, of course, a certain irony in doing this causing everyone who feels that way to vote the same way, but when you only really have two practical options, there are limits to how effectively you can protest.

“[Hillary Clinton] was exactly the wrong candidate for this angry, populist moment,” writes Frank. “An insider when the country was screaming for an outsider. A technocrat who offered fine-tuning when the country wanted to take a sledgehammer to the machine.”

Well, I’d say that sledgehammer has well and truly been taken to that machine, and a clear message has been sent. I’m not excusing the result or saying that it was the “right one”, just saying what has seemingly happened from an outsider’s perspective. It is pretty much exactly the same reason there is so much resistance to perceived “political correctness” — people do not like to be told how to think or feel.

It remains to be seen whether or not this election result is ultimately “good” or “bad” for America — and the world — as a whole, but as a friend on Facebook noted, “I look forward to four years of people learning how little power the President has.”

2485: The Value of Short Experiences

0485_001

You know me, dear reader, I love getting my teeth into a meaty RPG as much as the next man — assuming the next man is as much of a loser as I am — but sometimes it’s nice to cleanse the palate with something shorter. Perhaps even something that you can finish in a single sitting.

I thought this with Outlast and its DLC, which I played recently, and I’ve also thought it with the visual novel Negligee, which I’m going to do a writeup for on MoeGamer later this week. I also think it whenever I play games that are friendly to bite-size sessions, like arcade-style games where the emphasis is on getting better at a short, sharp experience rather than slogging your way through hundreds of levels.

There seems to be something of an assumption among many people online these days that a game somehow lacks value if its developers don’t “support” it post-release with regular updates. Now, in some cases, this makes sense — massively multiplayer games like Final Fantasy XIV would grow stale quickly if they didn’t get an injection of new stuff to do now and then, for example — but in others, particularly games that are heavily story-based, there’s a great deal of value in simply drawing a line under it, saying “that’s it” and calling it finished.

This clamouring for constant updates is particularly pronounced in the mobile game sector, where a lot of games seem to have designs on being “massively multiplayer” experiences anyway, even when they involve little to no actual player interaction. Google Play and App Store reviewers (and, to a marginally lesser extent, Steam reviewers) will get seriously whiny if even the dumbest of timewasters doesn’t have regular updates with new levels or seasonal events or whatever — and even worse if the experience costs “too much” for what they perceive the mythical money-to-hours ratio is supposed to be — and it always bothers me a bit. Are they seriously saying that they don’t want that game to ever end, that they’ll be happy doing nothing but flicking birds at pigs or matching candy sweets forever? I can’t imagine feeling that way. I need new and interesting things to do on a fairly regular basis; while my longstanding love affair with Final Fantasy XIV would seem to run counter to this statement, that game does at least reinvent itself with new stuff every so often, and I play other things alongside it anyway.

Back to the original point, though: there is a great deal of value in shorter experiences that forego bloat and filler in favour of a concise but still enjoyable experience. Not everything needs to be a 50+ hour epic, at least partly because no-one has time to play all the 50+ hour epics that are already out there, let alone a new one.

Outlast would have got exhausting and tiresome if it was any longer than it was — the main game was already skating on that boundary by the time I finished it; I much preferred the snappier DLC — and Negligee tells the story it wants to tell in less than an hour, albeit with eleven different endings to encourage replays. A game that provides an enjoyable experience without taking over your whole life is something to be celebrated, particularly when you’re waiting for the next exciting thing to come over the horizon as I am right now with the imminent Final Fantasy XV. And I for one am glad that there are plenty of developers out there who don’t feel the need to add unnecessary bloat to their games for the sake of an artificially inflated playtime, or a set of Achievements, or simply because the ever-whiny general public insists that £15 is “too much” for a game that is over in two hours.

Short game developers, I salute you, and you’ll always have my business in that awkward period just before a big release! 🙂

2484: Further Adventures in Hong Kong

0484_001

Shadowrun Hong Kong continues to be an excellent game. The best thing about it, I think, is quite how varied the different missions are — and how the game is structured, allowing you to accept multiple missions at a time, but forcing you to focus on a single one at a time once it begins. This approach helps prevent the problem a lot of Western RPGs have, where you get completely bombarded with quests and have no idea where to go and which order it is “best” to do them in, leading to an unfocused, meandering experience.

Shadowrun Hong Kong, meanwhile, features missions that take maybe 30-60 minutes to complete, tops, each of which has its own set of objectives and mini storyline to follow through. And they’re not all a matter of “go somewhere, have a fight, get out again”.

Over the course of last night and tonight, I’ve completed a variety of missions and no two have been alike. In one, I had to infiltrate a museum and steal the most valuable artifacts possible without tripping the alarms. In another, I had to solve a serial murder case — this had the option of concluding without combat were I to let the culprit go free. In another still, I had to disrupt the qi flow in the offices of a company that took great pride in its geomancy.

What it kind of feels like — which is fitting, given Shadowrun’s background — is a tabletop role-playing session, with discrete adventures linked together to form a campaign, each of which features its own story, evocative narration and interesting characters. Where Shadowrun differs from other games that have attempted to evoke the feeling of tabletop roleplaying sessions, however, is that it keeps things focused and trims the fat.

It doesn’t have Baldur’s Gate’s problem of pretty much everything being lootable, only for you to discover to your dismay that 95% of the containers in the game house identical rubbish shortswords and suits of leather armour. It doesn’t have The Elder Scrolls’ problem of everyfuckingthing being pick-upable, making it extremely difficult to distinguish meaningful, helpful items from pointless window dressing, particularly if, God forbid, you drop a key item in the room where you’ve been storing all the thousands of wheels of cheese you’ve been hoarding “just in case”. And it doesn’t have the older Dungeons & Dragons games’ problem of sticking a little too rigidly to the tabletop ruleset and consequently not really taking full advantage of the benefits of playing on a computer.

The combat in Shadowrun takes this approach, too. It doesn’t overwhelm you with tactical options, but it does allow you to do things like take cover and use your weapons in a variety of different ways according to your proficiency with them. Not everyone in the party is necessarily a “combat” character, either — my protagonist, for example, is a Decker, which means she’s more suited to marking targets using her knowledge of technology than actually firing a gun or going toe to toe with opponents — though I must admit, this didn’t stop me from outfitting her with retractable cybernetic claws for close combat should the need ever arise. Who doesn’t want to be Cyber-Wolverine?

All in all, Shadowrun Hong Kong has been a pleasure to play so far. It’s telling an interesting story and its mechanics are really solid. Its graphics are nothing special but, having grown up on Baldur’s Gate and Fallout, this really doesn’t bother me all that much — and, like those old classics, Shadowrun’s visual shortcomings are more than made up for by its spectacularly good sound design, with excellent music complemented by ambient sound that shifts in volume and position according to where your character is standing on the map. It’s incredibly atmospheric and does a great job of immersing you in the setting despite unfolding from the typically rather impersonal-feeling isometric viewpoint.

A winner, then. And cheap in GOG.com’s current sale! Grab yourself a copy now and you won’t be disappointed.

2483: Shadows of Hong Kong

0483_001

GOG.com has a sale going on right now; it’s really rather good. Like their previous sales, they have a tiered reward system where if you complete various arbitrary tasks on the website and/or buy a couple of games, you’ll get some freebies, no questions asked. This seemed like an ideal opportunity to acquire a few titles I’ve wanted to grab for a while, even if I didn’t want to play them immediately.

Among the titles I nabbed in the sale today were two of the new Shadowrun games: Shadowrun Hong Kong and Shadowrun Dragonfall. I’ve spent a bit of time with the former this evening and come away very impressed — and a little surprised.

I’m not particularly familiar with the Shadowrun setting, but it’s a concept I like: combining hacking, grime-and-neon cyberpunk with orcs, elves and magic fantasy brings together two of my very favourite things, so Shadowrun was always something I was interested in. I’d just never gotten around to checking it out.

I went in expecting something along the lines of the old Infinity Engine role-playing games — that is to say, largely functional graphics, excellent writing, deep character and party building and a non-linear storyline in which you were free to pursue all manner of different sidequests at your leisure before deciding that yes, now was the right time to go and confront The Big Bad, whoever it was this time around.

What I got from Shadowrun Hong Kong was… almost that, but with enough differences to the standard formula to give it a very distinct identity.

I’ll back up a moment and give you some background. In Shadowrun Hong Kong, you play a player character of your own design, who can be male or female and any of the main races found in the setting: human, ork, elf, dwarf or troll. You can then either pick a starting class or build your own by spending “Karma”, the game’s skill point equivalent. There are no traditional experience points or levels in Shadowrun; you simply gain Karma in varying degrees for accomplishing various tasks. Consequently, you can build some interesting characters without having to “grind” as such.

The opening of Shadowrun Hong Kong sees you contacted by your onetime foster father Raymond Black, who urges you to come to Hong Kong to discuss something very important. When you arrive there, you’re met by your adoptive sibling Duncan, an ork man that you grew up with but subsequently became estranged from following an unfortunate run-in with corporate security in your past. Your reunion is far from joyful, since Duncan doesn’t quite know what to make of you having spent so much time apart from you, and before long it becomes clear that something very bad indeed is going on. A group of mercenaries that Black hired to escort you are murdered along with Duncan’s superior officer Carter, and all of a sudden you’re on the run, thrust into Hong Kong’s seedy underbelly to wipe your old identities clean and take up the mantle of Shadowrunners: individuals who work on the fringes of society, often doing illicit deeds for whoever will pay the most. Your eventual aim is to determine what has become of Black, and perhaps to make sense of some mysterious dreams you start having shortly after the story begins.

So far so RPG. Where Shadowrun Hong Kong diverges from what I expected is in its structure: rather than unfolding in a large open world that you can explore at will a la Baldur’s Gate or the first two Fallout games, Shadowrun Hong Kong is instead mission-based. There’s a “hub” area from which you can interact with NPCs, purchase equipment and accept new missions, but each of these missions are self-contained areas that combine a variety of different gameplay styles, each telling their own mini-story along the way, ultimately — I presume, anyway — combining to tell the entire narrative.

The missions are pretty varied; none of them appear to be simple “get to point X” or “kill Y”. Rather, you’re often given a fairly vague objective — perhaps with some optional additional tasks along the way — and then left up to your own devices to decide how to handle it according to how you’ve built your character and the party you’ve brought with you.

One of the first missions in the game, for example, sees you having to deliver a message from the local crime lord Kindly “Auntie” Cheng to one of her underlings, who has started to take things into his own hands a little too much. In order to get to the recipient, you can fight your way in through the guards that block the entrance (in which case you’ll fail the optional “don’t kill anyone” objective), or you can sneak across the rooftops, or you can hack the electronic locking system in the basement, or you can learn the keycode to another “secret” entrance. Along the way, you’ll encounter a number of side objectives, including assisting a young woman who is researching qi flow in the area and retrieving a stolen credit stick from an old man who is mugged by one of your target’s henchmen. Most of these side objectives can be resolved in multiple ways, too; for example, when attempting to recover the credit stick, you can fight the guy and take it by force, attempt to smooth-talk your way through the situation or use your knowledge of criminal culture (assuming you have it) to appeal to his sense of “honour among thieves”.

If and when combat does erupt, the action switches to mechanics straight out of the more recent XCOM games. Each character has a number of “action points” per round, and these can be used on moving, using items or performing various attacks with their weapons. More powerful techniques, spells or items tend to take multiple action points to perform, and some also have a “cooldown” of a number of rounds before they can be used again. There’s a simple cover-and-flanking system in play, allowing you and your enemies to gain tactical advantages over one another through careful movement, and as your characters grow stronger they have more and more different abilities available to use.

Hacking, meanwhile, results in a gloriously abstract minigame straight out of a 1990s RPG whereby you control an “avatar” of yourself in cyberspace, attempting to avoid the various security measures or brute-forcing your way through using “combat” programs if necessary. Reach your eventual destination — be it a valuable piece of data or simply the method to unlock an electronic door — and you’ll have another minigame within the minigame, whereby you’ll have to remember numerical combinations and then decrypt a sequence of glyphs before time runs out. And, in true cyberpunk tradition, fucking up hacking can damage your physical body, so you have to be careful.

The whole thing is tied together by a wonderfully evocative script written by people who actually know how to write, combining vibrant, descriptive narration with believable dialogue. In many ways, it’s as much a piece of interactive text-based fiction as it is an RPG or tactical strategy game; whatever it is, I really like it so far, and am looking forward to playing some more as a much-needed break from all the Palace of the Dead in FFXIV!

2482: Palace of the Dead: Solo Guide

Been soloing a bunch of Palace of the Dead in Final Fantasy XIV over the last few days, so I thought I’d assemble some tips for those who are looking to challenge it.

General tips

Take your time on the early floors. You want to equal or exceed the boss’ level when you reach it, so clear each floor thoroughly rather than rushing through. You can safely avoid enemies once you hit level 60.
Stay aware of your surroundings at all times. Most floors have patrolling monsters; keep an eye out for these and engage them in the corridors between rooms before pulling the monsters in the rooms themselves.
When fighting on the normal floors, DPS as hard as you can. Summoners, use Garuda-Egi. Tanks, use your DPS stance. The quicker things die, the easier a time you’ll have. In most cases you’ll probably want to concentrate on one enemy at a time — pull from a distance whenever possible.
When fighting bosses, the priority is on doing mechanics rather than DPSing as hard as possible. Summoners, get Titan-Egi to tank for you. Tanks, use your tank stance.
Drink potions whenever you can if you’re not at full health. The last thing you want is to die to a landmine or exploding chest.
Save Pomanders of Serenity for floors where Auto-Heal is disabled. Most of the other floor effects aren’t really anything to worry about, but Auto-Heal not working can really fuck you up.
Don’t use Pomanders of Safety and Pomanders of Sight on the same floor because they’re redundant. Safety removes all traps on the floor, and Sight allows you to see traps and thus avoid them. There’s no need to use both.
Pomanders of Alteration are a gamble best used before you hit 60. If they spawn Mandragora-type enemies on the next floor, that’s free EXP. If they spawn Mimics, however, you’re in for a miserable time.
When using one of the transformation Pomanders, remember that you’re not invincible. The Manticore may be able to kill everything in a single hit (assuming Knockback isn’t disabled by a floor effect) but its HP and defense are the same as yours in your regular form.
Transformations are immune to Toad traps, and Pacification/Silence doesn’t affect the transformation’s ability. Landmines are still very dangerous, however, particularly as you can’t drink a potion to heal yourself while transformed.
Save Pomanders of Resolution for the floor 100 boss. You’ll need all three during the fight.

Enemies to watch out for

Hornets, found in the 1-10 block, have Final Sting, which will do a shitload of damage if you let it go off. You can actually run away from it and avoid the damage if you get far enough away, but it’s best to try and kill the hornet before this happens.
Slimes, found in the 11-20 block, cast Rapture if you take too long killing them. This will almost certainly kill you, so kill them as quickly as you can.
Gaze attacks — marked by a very obvious glowing purple eye over the enemy model while they’re casting it — can be avoided completely by simply turning your back to the enemy. It’s particularly important to do this when dealing with Palace Cobras (petrification), Palace Deepeyes (powerful paralysis) and Palace Pots (Mysterious Light, which causes heavy damage and Blind).
Morbols will show up in the 11-20 block towards the end, complete with Bad Breath attack. Run towards them for the easiest path to avoid the large cone AoE.
Wraiths have a huge AoE attack that causes Terror. If you can stun it, do so. Otherwise, run for dear life as soon as you see the marker appear.
Palace Skatenes will cause Sleep on you shortly after they cast Chirp. This isn’t a huge issue, however, since you’ll wake up immediately upon taking a hit.

Boss tips

Floor 10: Palace Deathgaze

Pretty easy, and if you’ve fought basic Deathgaze-type enemies in the game you’ll know what to expect. It has a heavy attack called Whipcrack that will do a chunk of damage, so pop a potion after it does this. Stormwind (a large cone AoE) and Bombination (circular AoE) can both be avoided. Aerial Blast covers the whole arena and causes Windburn (damage over time for a few seconds). It will cycle through these abilities until one or the other of you are dead.

Floor 20: Spurge

The Easy Way: Level to 35 or 36, pop a Pomander of Strength and a Pomander of Lust and then just go ham on Spurge and you’ll probably kill it before it summons its first set of Hornets if your gear is up to snuff.

The Proper Way: There are two main phases to this fight, and they simply cycle around and around. In the first, Spurge will twat you for a chunk of damage with Bloody Caress, then fling two circle AoE attacks at you — one around itself and one aimed at you. During this time, keep your HP topped up and wail on Spurge as much as you can. The second phase starts when Spurge moves to the side of the arena. At this point, two Hornets will spawn, and Spurge will stay in place, occasionally shooting a large linear AoE attack called Rotten Stench. Avoid Rotten Stench while knocking the Hornets down as quickly as possible — otherwise they will use Final Sting on you — before returning to the punishment on Spurge.

Floor 30: Definitely-Not-Hydra

Pretty easy. When it hits you with Ball of Fire or Ball of Ice, immediately move to avoid the effect of the circular area the attack causes — damage over time for Ball of Fire and slowed movement for Ball of Ice. Keep hitting it while this is going on, and try not to bait any Balls of Fire or Ice into the very middle of the arena. When Definitely-Not-Hydra moves to the centre of the arena and starts casting Fear Itself, stand inside its hitbox to avoid the attack completely. Then repeat the process.

Floor 40: Ixtab

Ixtab will spew void crap over the ground every so often — move out of this to avoid damage. He will then summon two Bhoots which you should kill as quickly as possible to avoid being caught in their attacks. He also has an arena-wide attack that causes Terror, often causing you to stumble into the Bhoots’ area of effect if they’re still up. Aside from this, not a lot else to say.

Floor 50: Edda Blackbosom

Pay close attention to what Edda is doing. If she uses Cold Feet, turn away to avoid its Terror effect. If she uses In Health, you’ll either need to get well away from her or stand right on top of her — react quickly to the AoE marker, but you have plenty of time to get from one extreme to the other if the cast goes off. If you get hit by In Health, one of the letters on the floor will light up. The more of these lit up when she casts Black Honeymoon, the more damage you’ll take. Aside from this, she’s pretty straightforward. Watch out for In Sickness, which causes Disease and slowed movement; cleanse this off yourself if you can.

Floor 60: The Black Rider

A few things to watch out for here. Firstly, keep out of the large purple circles he drops on the ground at all cost — they cause Bleed, which deals heavy damage while you’re in them. Secondly, watch out for the aether sprites he summons around the outside of the arena and don’t get caught in their blasts, as these deal extreme damage. Their appearance will often coincide with his charge attack, a linear AoE marker that follows you around. While this is casting, make sure your back is to a “safe spot” away from the aether sprites to avoid being knocked into their blast radius.

Floor 70: Big Snake Thing

I can’t remember Big Snake Thing’s name, but it’s a big snake thing. The most important thing to do in this fight is move Big Snake Thing out of the watery patches it drops on the ground when it casts Douse. While it is in these areas, it gains Haste, which makes it nigh-impossible to avoid Electrogenesis when it casts. Aside from this, Big Snake Thing should cause you no real difficulty.

Floor 80: Definitely-Not-King-Behemoth

This is a daunting fight, but fairly straightforward if you know how to handle all the mechanics. Firstly, when DNKB casts Charybdis, move well away from the AoE marker because it will drop a tornado. Said tornadoes inflict a heavy damage over time debuff if you get sucked into one, and periodically they will suck in everything around them — there’ll be a very brief AoE marker to show the effective range of this when it happens, so to be safe don’t be anywhere near the tornadoes. Next, when DNKB walks away from you, follow him, because he’s about to use Trounce, a massive conal AoE attack that is much easier to avoid if you’re right next to him. Thirdly, at around 10% HP remaining, he will begin channelling Ecliptic Meteor, and unlike the other times in the game where this happens, there’s nothing to hide behind. Try and kill him before it hits, but don’t worry too much if it does — it hits for about 80% of your HP, so if you’re topped up before it happens, you’ll be safe and free to finish him off after the attack.

Floor 90: The Godmother

This is a bit like the final boss of Pharos Sirius (Hard). Attack The Godmother until a red bomb spawns, at which point you should stun its Blast ability if you can and kill it as quickly as possible while avoiding the AoE markers from the untargetable smaller bombs that spawn around it. When it’s down, return to wailing on The Godmother. When a blue-grey bomb spawns, hit it with an instant ability while facing The Godmother to knock it towards her. You want the blue-grey bomb’s Hydrothermal Combustion ability to hit The Godmother and interrupt her ultimate attack. From here, simply repeat these two processes until The Godmother is down.

Floor 100: Nybeth Obdilord

Try to make sure you have three Pomanders of Resolution by the time you reach floor 100 — block 91-100 seems to throw them at you, but save them up from earlier blocks to be safe if necessary. Nybeth himself isn’t too much of a threat if you take care to avoid his AoEs, particularly the large cone-shaped Doom attack. The important mechanic in this fight is the adds that he spawns at roughly 90%, 70% and 30% of his HP remaining. As soon as they appear, pop a Pomander of Resolution and use Kuribu’s attack to firstly kill the enemies, and then use the ability again on their corpses to remove them permanently from the fight. Click off the transformation before you turn your attention back to Nybeth. Repeat two more times and you’re home free.

2481: Rejected, Again

I did not get shortlisted for the job I mentioned the other day that I actually 1) rather wanted and 2) felt confident I would be able to do well at.

I am getting really quite tired of the same old copy-paste rejection email that everywhere seems to use. “Dear [name], Thank you for your application for [insert position here]. Unfortunately, on this occasion you have not been successful. Please have a nice life and try not to fall into a crippling pit of depression because no-one anywhere appears to want to hire you for anything, even things you have demonstrable abilities in and thus the potential to excel. Now we’re going out with the normal people who have real jobs. Fuck you.”

I added the last bit, but I feel like it’s implied every time I receive one of these.

I am sick of this. Fucking sick of it. I am doing everything “right”. I am following all the suggestions I read all over the Internet and hear in discussions with people. I am applying for jobs whenever and wherever I can, with preference for those positions that are directly relevant to my skills but also taking a chance on those that sound like something I might be able to do. I am updating my CV regularly, and producing tailored versions of it for different positions. I am writing covering letters that directly address the job description and person specification while making me appear like an actual human being rather than machine-generated business-speak.

And still fucking nothing.

I’m lucky to actually hear anything from all the places I’ve applied to. Most simply ignore me, leaving me wondering if I will ever actually hear from them, so I guess I should be a little bit grateful for those places that at least have the courtesy to give me a definite “no”, but frankly it’s hard to feel anything positive towards this whole ridiculous, demoralising and soul-crushingly upsetting process.

I should probably just go and apply to work at my local Tesco — they’re hiring, after all. But you know what? I’m absolutely sick of doing shit that is beneath what I’m capable of, what I’m qualified for and what I have demonstrable experience in. I’m sick of settling for not even second best. I am so much more. I am capable of so much more. But no-one will let me prove that to them. And that’s enormously upsetting. It makes me feel like it’s not even worth bothering to try.

I just want to be recognised. Appreciated for my talents. Acknowledged as a person. But none of those things are happening, and with each passing day this continues to be true I feel more and more worthless; a waste of space contributing little to the world and apparently having no skills that anyone considers to be useful or meaningful in 2016.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t see a way out of this pit. I’m trying, by God I’m trying, but the walls are smooth and slick, and there’s seemingly no way to pull myself up and out. And no-one seems to be coming to throw me a rope, either.

2480: Too Much Information

0480_001

I listened to Dave Gorman’s audiobook Too Much Information the other day. I’ve been a fan of Dave Gorman’s intelligent comedy ever since I first saw his shows The Dave Gorman Collection and Googlewhack Adventure.

Gorman is a comedian who likes to use facts and evidence to back up the things he is talking about. In The Dave Gorman Collection, in which he travelled around the world seeking out other people called Dave Gorman, he took photographs of every meeting and recorded all manner of stats about his journey. In Googlewhack Adventure, in which he sought out people who had authored Googlewhacks — two-word search terms for which there is only a single result on Google — he again took copious notes and documentary evidence of his journey.

Too Much Information is one of Gorman’s most modern works, taking a look at the modern world and the sheer amount of noise we have to put up with on a daily basis. As you can probably imagine if you’ve been following me for a while, this sort of thing is right up my alley.

Gorman covers a variety of topics throughout Too Much Information, including beauty adverts with hilariously poor survey results in the small print at the bottom of the screen — one product had just 47% of its (admittedly small) sample agree that it was worthwhile — and misleading newspaper headlines. He also looks at how misinformation can spread throughout social media, and has a good rant about some of his favourite bugbears, such as “greatest hits” albums that have all-new tracks on them, and services such as Spotify assuming that we always want to be sharing everything we do with the rest of the world, even if it’s listening to The Wombles.

Too Much Information resonated with me a great deal, and it’s a book well worth getting hold of in one form or another. It worked well as an audiobook, as the whole thing is written in Gorman’s trademark “storytelling” style of comedy, which lends itself well to being recorded, but I can see it working just fine on paper, too.

While you’re on, if you’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing Dave Gorman’s past work, do take the time to check out The Dave Gorman Collection, Dave Gorman’s Googlewhack Adventure and his most recent series on Dave, Dave Gorman’s Modern Life is Goodish. It’s a style of comedy that, so far as I’m aware, is unique to Gorman, and it’s particularly entertaining for those of us who enjoy facts and figures to go along with our funny words. His “Found Poems” in Modern Life is Goodish, constructed entirely of Internet comments sections, are particularly entertaining, and a good reminder of what a bizarre and ridiculous age we live in these days.

2479: Palace of the Dead, Solo

0479_001

One of the things that had me most interested in patch 3.45 for Final Fantasy XIV was the ranking system for the Palace of the Dead dungeon I talked about yesterday. This tallies a score for you whenever you play with a fixed party (be it solo or up to four players) and thus allows you to compare your progress against other players from around the world.

Alongside the introduction of this ranking system came a few rebalancing changes to make soloing Palace of the Dead a lot more practical than it was when it was first introduced; previously, anything above about floor 20 at a push was very difficult if you were by yourself, but now, you can theoretically go up to floor 100 and beyond if you’ve upgraded your gear enough and your skills are up to snuff.

One of the things I’ve appreciated about Palace of the Dead since its launch was the fact that since it’s largely impossible to “outgear” it — your regular gear has no meaning inside, only your Aetherpool upgrade levels, and even those are capped and synced if they’re too high for the floor you’re on and the level you are — you had to actually play properly. That means no cheesing mechanics, no standing in AoEs because you have enough HP to just soak them up, and swift punishment if you don’t know how to play your job properly and effectively, sometimes in an unconventional party lineup.

Today, I made it to floor 60 solo, initially using Arcanist to go as far as floor 50 (my Arcanist hadn’t yet reached level 30 and thus couldn’t be upgraded into Scholar or Summoner, but the experience point rewards from completing these floors were enough to get me from 23 to 30 without too much difficulty) and subsequently as Summoner.

Arcanist/Scholar/Summoner aren’t classes I’ve played much in the past, though I found Palace of the Dead’s accelerated levelling to be quite a good way to learn how they work. In particular, levelling Arcanist to 60 without Summoner’s extra Job abilities was a solid way to learn the basics of how the class worked, then upgrading to Summoner built on that foundation. I am now regretting the fact that I haven’t levelled Summoner prior to today, because goddamn, that class is fun.

The reason I picked Arcanist and Summoner to run solo is that they seemed the most naturally geared towards soloing in that they have the option of summoning a tank pet that can maintain the enemies’ attention while you cover them in festering boils and fling magic at them. The tank pet doesn’t get a lot of use in party play — largely because you normally have an actual human-controlled tank there that can perform the role better than an AI routine — but in Palace of the Dead, Topaz Carbuncle (Arcanist) and Titan-Egi (Summoner) have both proven invaluable, particularly when it comes to the bosses.

And speaking of the bosses, soloing floors 1-60 today has given me a new appreciation of these fights. When tackled in a party of four, they’re mostly rather easy (with the possible exception of floor 80’s boss, which has been the source of many a party wipe so far), though from floor 60 onwards they do start to have some more interesting mechanics. Solo, however, they all present a pretty formidable challenge as you have to dodge their mechanics, chug potions to keep your health topped up (assuming you’re not a healer) and somehow in the middle of all that find time to fling a few damaging abilities in their direction. I’m sure you can already see how helpful a tanking pet would be in this situation!

Thus far the secret to successful soloing seems to be having decently levelled gear — currently mine is around the +64 mark, which has seen me safely to floor 60 so far, and from this point onwards the upgrades from the silver chests are less likely to fail, too, so repeated runs will eventually push it up towards +99, which I suspect will be strongly recommended to tackle floor 80 and onwards.

According to the leaderboards on The Lodestone, no-one on Primal data centre has made it to floor 100 solo yet. I have little doubt that will probably change by tomorrow — I think someone on Reddit from another data centre had done it already — but for now it’s fun taking aim for the top spot. And if I don’t attain that top spot, well, at least I’ll be able to say I’ve done it.

2478: All About Palace of the Dead

0478_001

For the benefit of my Twitter friend @FinalMacstorm, who is contemplating returning to Final Fantasy XIV once he’s done with Final Fantasy XV, here is everything you might want to know about Palace of the Dead, one of Final Fantasy XIV’s newest pieces of content.

What is it?

A 200-floor dungeon with randomly generated layouts. The first 100 floors are its “story mode”; the second 200 floors are intended to be very challenging 4-player content, and as such can only be attempted with a preformed party.

How is it structured?

When Palace of the Dead first launched, there were 50 floors, which you tackled in blocks of 10 at a time. Every 10th floor, there is a boss. Beat the boss and your progress is saved, allowing you to pick up from the following floor either immediately or the next time you want to challenge Palace of the Dead. On floor 50, there’s a final boss — a familiar face who has been well and truly put through the wringer since you first encountered them.

Floors 51-100 of Palace of the Dead were added today and are known as the “Hellsward” floors. They work in mostly the same way. Once you’ve cleared floor 50 once, you can start at floor 51 instead of floor 1 any time you reset your save data. Floor 100, again, has a final boss — this time it’s Nybeth Obdilord from Tactics Ogre.

Floors 101-200 of Palace of the Dead were also added today. They can only be entered if you start from floor 51 with a preformed, fixed party and clear all the way to floor 100 without any full-party wipes.

What are the bosses like?

The bosses gradually ramp up in complexity as you go deeper into the dungeon. The first boss is very simple — essentially fighting a normal Death Gaze that has a few more HP than usual. The second is a heavily simplified version of the Raskovnik fight from Sohm Al, which in turn was a simplified version of the Rafflesia fight from The Second Coil of Bahamut. The third is a slightly simplified version of the Hydra fight. Later bosses incorporate mechanics from Odin, Anchag from Amdapor Keep (Hard) and King Behemoth from Labyrinth of the Ancients. Floor 80’s boss — the aforementioned King Behemoth-inspired fight — features a pretty brutal DPS check against a slowly casting, insta-wipe ultimate ability. This is arguably the most difficult boss in the first 100 floors; Nybeth is a relative walkover by comparison, though his fight does require the DPS to be on their toes to deal with frequently spawning adds.

Is it endgame content?

While the main rewards for Palace of the Dead are level 60 weapons — item level 235 weapons that can subsequently be upgraded to item level 255 — you can actually start it as soon as level 17. It’s best to wait at least until you’ve reached level 50 and have cleared the sidequest dungeon Tam-Tara Deepcroft (Hard), though, because Palace of the Dead’s storyline follows directly on from that dungeon’s narrative.

How does it work?

Your level inside Palace of the Dead is different to your level outside. Upon entering for the first time, you’re reset to level 1, but the experience required to level up within Palace of the Dead is considerably less than in the main game. You can reach the level cap of 60 by about floor 40 if you’re reasonably diligent about killing enemies on the lower floors. Each block of floors takes about 20-30 minutes to complete depending on how quick you are.

Your level inside Palace of the Dead can exceed your level outside Palace of the Dead, so it’s a good way to “preview” how classes play once they reach level 60. Starting at floor 51 will immediately boost you to level 60 in the class you entered on while you’re inside.

When you clear a block of 10 floors, you receive experience points for your level outside Palace of the Dead, making it quite an efficient way to level classes. If you’re already level 60, you will instead receive Allagan Tomestones of Poetics, Lore and Scripture, the endgame currencies used to purchase high-end equipment and quest items. If you’re level 50-59, you will receive Allagan Tomestones of Poetics and experience points.

What about gear?

Normal gear is irrelevant in Palace of the Dead. Instead, you have an aetherpool weapon and armour, which can be upgraded by collecting silver chests scattered throughout the dungeon. The maximum the gear can be upgraded to is +99, though on the lower floors there is a cap and level sync on upgrades to prevent you being too overpowered.

When your weapon and armour both reach +30 upgrades, you can “spend” these points to acquire an item level 235, level 60 weapon that you can use elsewhere in the game. When your weapon and armour both reach +60 upgrades, you can “spend” these points to upgrade the item level 235 weapon to an item level 255 weapon. If you allow your weapon and armour to upgrade to +90, this means you can get the i235 weapon and immediately upgrade it to i255.

Do I have to play in a party?

No. There are several ways to play. Firstly, entering with a matched party uses Duty Finder to seek out other people who are on the same block of floors as you and put you all together. Note that Palace of the Dead does not adhere to the usual party construction in the rest of the game, meaning it’s entirely possible you may have runs with no healers, no tanks or all DPS classes. Each block is clearable with such a lineup, but you will need to make use of items as well as your abilities.

Alternatively, you can play with a fixed party, which simply takes the party lineup you choose to start with — from going solo to a full light party of four — and registers that as your group on your save data. To continue progressing, you must take the same group of people with you on the same classes, though if you need to disband you can convert fixed party save data to matched party save data at any time.

If you play solo, when you wipe you’ll be presented with a score calculated as a combination of the highest floor you reached and the number of kills you got along with some other bits and pieces behind the scenes. Your high scores are recorded for each class, and you can also record a high score for a fixed party, too. Personal high scores can be reviewed in the game, while global high scores will be available on the Lodestone website from tomorrow.

What items can I use?

You can access your inventory in Palace of the Dead, so you can use any potions, elixirs and ethers that you might have collected, though note that there is a cooldown on these so you can’t just chug them repeatedly. It’s a good idea to hotbar your best potions as well as status-curing formulae.

Besides these items, golden chests inside Palace of the Dead drop single-use items called pomanders, which are collected in a shared party inventory. These have a variety of different functions. Some provide buffs for individual players, others benefit the whole party by revealing the whole map, removing traps on the current floor and others still allow party members to transform into various monsters with unique special abilities.

If you’re playing with a matched party, your pomanders are lost when you clear each block of 10 floors. If you’re playing with a fixed party, however, your pomander inventory is saved along with the rest of the data and will be waiting for you when you challenge the next block of 10 floors.

What do I get out of it?

Besides the weapons, there are hidden treasures called Accursed Hoards scattered throughout the dungeon. These can either be uncovered by chance by standing in the right place, or located using a pomander of intuition. You don’t know what Accursed Hoards are until you appraise them back in Quarrymill, at which point they will be “drawn” and revealed to be whatever they are. Common items available through Accursed Hoards include fireworks and Grade IV materia. Rarer items include Grade V materia and glamour items. Super-rare items include a hairstyle and housing decorations.

2477: Outlast

0477_001

It’s Halloween, the perfect time to play a scary game! As such, I played through Outlast today, a game which I’ve been meaning to try for ages, and which my wife was kind enough to gift me a copy of. (It was 75% off for Halloween, too, so she didn’t really need any convincing.)

Outlast is a first-person horror adventure game in which you have no combat capabilities. The only thing you’re armed with is a camcorder, which can be used to film events (which triggers the protagonist taking notes on them) and, more importantly, see in the dark. Your camcorder has infinite battery unless you’re using the night-vision, in which case it drains at an alarming rate, meaning you need to ration its use as much as possible. There are, however, batteries scattered around the game world to replenish your charge.

In Outlast, you play the role of a journalist who received a tip-off as to mysterious, strange and downright horrible goings on at a mental asylum, once closed down but subsequently reopened by a private corporation. As these things tend to go, said private corporation puts up a charitable facade when really they’re into some horrible shit, and it’s your job to investigate exactly what they’ve been up to. I shan’t spoil any more of the story specifics here, as the game is well worth playing.

In terms of gameplay, Outlast is largely exploration-based. You don’t have a map of any description, so you have to rely on your own sense of direction and the subtle environmental clues the game places around — doors left open a crack, realistic signs on walls, that sort of thing. Most of the game consists of you trying to figure out how to get through your current environment, though occasionally you are beset by sometimes naked psychopaths (seriously, there were many more cocks in this game than I was expecting) who want nothing more than to see what you look like inside-out. When the game shifts tempo in this way, it turns into something of a stealth game where you have to outwit your foes. You can’t kill or even incapacitate your foes in any way, so the closest Outlast comes to “combat” is running away until you manage to get out of sight of your pursuers long enough for them to give up the chase.

A lot of Outlast is spent crawling around in the dark, as you might expect, but the game does mix things up a bit with its environments. One particularly memorable sequence towards the end of the game sees you fumbling around outside in the dark and rain, meaning even your camera’s night vision isn’t a lot of help — you have to firstly figure out where you’re supposed to go, and then how to get there.

As a horror game, Outlast is pretty effective, with a menacing atmosphere throughout and jump scares used sparingly for maximum impact when they do happen. I didn’t find it as outright disturbing as something like Silent Hill because it doesn’t have as much of the psychological metaphor stuff going on as Konami’s classics, but it’s pretty creepy, and the feeling of panic when you’re running away from enemies reminded me of Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, which likewise eschewed combat in favour of making you run away dramatically.

The plot is a bit weird and it kind of felt a bit like they weren’t sure whether to do a supernatural-themed story or a Resident Evil-style “big evil corporation” story, so ultimately it ended up as a bit of a mishmash of both. It worked, however, and had a suitably satisfying conclusions — and, although I’m yet to play it, most people seem to think that the DLC Whistleblower, which unfolds from the perspective of the character who sends an email to the main game’s protagonist, is a superior experience with a better sense of closure. I’ll have to check that out soon.

Overall, then, I enjoyed Outlast. At only about 5 hours from start to finish, it’s a game you can easily beat in a single sitting, and doing so feels like the way the game was intended to be experienced. It’s a relatively unusual take on the horror genre by lacking in combat –though this style has grown in popularity in the last few years thanks to titles like Amnesia, Until Dawn and the aforementioned Silent Hill: Shattered Memories — but the lack of an attack button doesn’t mean it lacks any sort of gameplay depth. Rather, it does what it does extremely well, and was a fine way to spend Halloween, so far as I’m concerned.