#oneaday Day 84: The Crossovers That Will Never Be

There’s a ton of untapped potential in the world of the crossover. Comics have been wise to this for a long time, with DC and Marvel in particular being highly aware of the fact that all their superheroes are running around disparate parts of the same world and might just bump into each other on occasion.

But what would happen if some of the more bizarre crossovers came to fruition? Well, let’s explore that, shall we?

Castlevania: Deep Space Nine

The most modern the series has got was with Soma Cruz, and even then it was still all bats and caves and swords and whatnot. Castlevania should go to space, and specifically to Deep Space Nine. Why? Because I had a dream about it so therefore it must be a good idea.

Benjamin Sisko discovers that as well as being the Emissary he is also a descendent of the Belmont clan and—horrors!—Dracula has found a way to harness the power of the Bajoran wormhole to summon forth the forces of Darkness into our reality. Fortunately, power of said wormhole also manages to summon Alucard, with little to no explanation as to why (this is Castlevania, you don’t ask silly questions like “why?”) who very carefully passes Sisko the Vampire Killer whip. Thus begins an exciting and thrilling co-operative adventure throughout the many decks of Deep Space Nine, culminating in a thrilling showdown with Dracula, who reprises his famous “What Is A Man?” speech in zero gravity.

Features narration by Patrick Stewart, as is the law for all new Castlevania games.

Dragon’s Den: Origins

The Archdemon is rising, and the world needs a hero. But heroes don’t just come out of nowhere. They need to be found.

Enter The Dragons: Peter Jones, Deborah Meaden, Theo Paphitis, Duncan Bannatyne and James Caan. A series of aspiring Heroes of Ferelden climb the stairs of destiny and pitch their ideas with which they believe they’ll be able to take down the Archdemon. Only by securing a Dragon’s investment in their expedition will they have a chance of success, otherwise they’ll be doomed to wandering the land in rusty chainmail using swords that fall apart as soon as you hit a log with them.

Superman: The Krypton Factor

A brand new gameshow featuring Superman attempting to overcome a variety of physical and mental challenges, all of which are laced with kryptonite. Will Superman survive this episode? Will he finally succumb to kryptonite’s influence? As the series finale, Superman has to defeat Gordon Burns in single combat, as it turns out that Burns, too, is also a superhero, but one who draws power from kryptonite instead of being weakened by it. WHO WILL PREVAIL?

Total WipeOut HD Fury

A combination of futuristic racing and people falling in the water repeatedly, the twist is that the courses which the high-speed anti-grav racers and the people running around have to follow are the same, causing significant risk to life and limb for anyone hopping over those giant Super Mario mushrooms whilst the pack bears down on them at approximately 700mph. The winner is the team whose antigrav racer and panicking human both survive.

The Hairy Bikers in: Road Rash

The Hairy Bikers have had enough, and have decided to take on a gruesome, brutal world tour atop their throbbing motorbikes. Along the way, they smack the shit out of anyone unfortunate enough to cross their path, collect the meat from the smouldering corpses and cook it into a delicious recipe between each stage of their journey.

#oneaday, Day 16: I Need A (Non-Copyright-Infringing) Hero

Bloody MMOs. They seem to be something of a weakness of mine, despite the fact that I’ve never been what I’d call a “hardcore player” of them. To whit, the character I started on the launch day of World of Warcraft only hit level 80 towards the end of last year, and I haven’t gone back to it since Cataclysm hit store shelves. Over the years, I’ve tried Everquest (crashy), Dark Age of Camelot (bewildering and intimidating), Ultima Online (slooooow), Everquest 2 (pretty), City of Heroes (super-fun), Final Fantasy XI (<Incredibly tough><Galka><rod>+<Mithra>=<Help me out!>), Star Trek Online (space combat! Yay!), EVE Online (WTF am I supposed to be doing?) and probably a few others besides.

The thing I love about them is creating a character that is your representation in the world. In single-player games with character creators, you tend to either play the game from a first-person perspective or spend the majority of the game staring at your character’s arse. But in an MMO, your carefully-crafted character can be appreciated by other people, and earn you compliments and friends, especially if you play as a woman with boobies.

I enjoyed City of Heroes from the above list particularly; there’s something very satisfying and fun about the superhero genre, and the MMO format seemed to fit surprisingly well with it. So I’d been keeping a cautious eye on DC Universe Online, but hadn’t thought that much about it. Until it came out, several of my friends started playing and had many positive things to say about it. Friends that didn’t particularly play MMOs, in some cases. Even Jessica Chobot’s playing.

Now I’ll preface the following with the confession that while I like comics and graphic novels, I’m not by any means a comic nerd. I don’t know the backstories and histories of the DC Universe characters, and I couldn’t name that many if prompted to. But from what I can gather, this is arguably a benefit in DC Universe Online‘s case, as a few people are getting a bit snobby about some of the power sets and weapons on offer for players. Fair play to them. I don’t care.

You know why I don’t care? Because DC Universe Online is super-fun. One important thing sets it apart from the vast majority of “me too” RPGs out there, and that’s the console-friendly action-game combat system. Instead of hitting the “auto-attack” button once and waiting for either your enemy or your character to fall over first, occasionally triggering skills on cooldown timers that are slightly too long to be comfortable, you feel like you’re part of the action, setting off a variety of ridiculous combos with what you’ve chosen to be your character’s signature weapons. So far I’ve tried a character with a sword and one with twin pistols and they play significantly differently from one another, which is nice. The primary weapon can then be combined with a “power set”, which determined what your more spectacular powers involve and your role in the group, and a “movement power”—flight, super-speed or acrobatics.

Now, the key difference that sets DC Universe Online apart from, say, City of Heroes is the fact that the things you’re doing from the very beginning seem to actually matter. There are plenty of “go here and kill [x] things” quests, but they make up part of an overarching storyline that culminates in a proper boss fight between hero and villain, usually with the support of some other characters from the DC universe. Contrast this with World of Warcraft, which, pre-Cataclysm (I haven’t tried it since, remember) didn’t let you into the interesting dungeons prior to gaining a significant number of levels. In DCUO, you’re straight into the action. And it’s great fun.

The fun factor is helped along by some decent presentation—there’s some great-sounding music and plenty of voice acting, too, which is unusual for an MMO. Although the game was supposedly rushed out of the door to meet a deadline (and has a few rough edges here and there as a result—nothing which can’t be fixed with a patch, though) it looks good, sounds good and feels like a “proper” game—something which many MMOs forget to do, making the experience feel more like work.

It’s also great to see an MMO working well on a console. The control scheme for the PS3 pad keeps everything within easy reach and makes it feel like an action game. It’s worth having a keyboard on hand for easy chatting, but there’s plenty of predefined chat macros and emotes you can use, so it’s not essential. There’s also a voice chat facility built in, too, so those of you who want to broadcast the fact that your hot lady hero is actually being played by a 29-year old man (*whistles innocently*) can do so.

I haven’t played enough to comment at any great depth on whether or not it gets old or boring later. But there certainly seems to be plenty of content—besides the main missions, there’s lots of “collections” and “investigations” to complete, encouraging exploration of the world. There are also races, PVP arenas, “Legends” battles (where you can play as iconic DC heroes and villains) and all manner of other goodies too. So, hopefully, there’ll be 1) plenty of things to do for some time yet and 2) a long period of support for the game.

The fact that the PS3 version has sold out in many places is encouraging—even though it’s probably simply due to short stock. What it does mean, though, is that people are open to the idea of an MMO on PS3 and are enthusiastic about giving it a chance. This is a good thing, and hopefully the game will enjoy the success it deserves.

Further reports will doubtless follow in the coming weeks as I explore the game further. For now, let it be known that if you’re looking for a decent superhero game, DC Universe Online might just fit the bill for you.

(But if you do play it, for heaven’s sake come up with a name more imaginative than”Súperman”, “Róbin” or “Warcraft”, all of whom I’ve seen today. Seriously. Imagination is free. Use it.)