2350: Back to It

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It’s back to the jobhunting grindstone tomorrow. My wife Andie has found herself a new job and is starting tomorrow, which finally brings this difficult period of both of us being out of work simultaneously to a close, so now I just have to secure myself a position of some description.

Thankfully, there are a few possibilities on the horizon, for once. I sent out a huge number of applications over the last few weeks, taking a chance on positions that I might not have done before, but which I had the appropriate skills to be able to do with a bit of training. While I still wouldn’t describe myself as feeling particularly ambitious, I want to do something a little bit more lucrative than retail work; while I enjoy retail work for the most part, the pay is pretty shit, and certainly not proportionate to what you have to put up with on a daily basis.

While I’ve had a few rejections already, the fact I’ve sent out so many applications means that I don’t feel quite so bad about these as I have done in the past, because — this sounds bad, but you’ll know what I mean — I’m not especially invested in having that specific job. It’s not the perfect wonder-job; it’s just something I’ll be able to do that will pay a decent amount of money and give me the opportunity to progress if I want to — and, importantly, time to myself when I’m not there. A job that I can leave behind at the end of the day and the week and just get on with enjoying life; no taking my work home, like there was in teaching.

I got a voicemail message on Friday offering me an interview for one of these positions I’ve applied to. It’s not ideal due to where it’s located — I’d rather keep commuting time and distance to a minimum — but it’s something, at least. I also wasn’t able to get in touch with the contact who left the message for me because by the time I received it after taking care of some other business, they weren’t answering their phone, since they left me the message at the very end of the working day. Tomorrow’s job, then, is trying to get hold of this person and hopefully sorting myself an interview out for later this week. And then, if that happens, getting the haircut I’ve been putting off for the last six months as usual.

In the meantime, I’m hanging in there, just about. I’m continuing to update MoeGamer in my spare time — expect a gushing writeup on VA-11 Hall-A this week — and I’m also casually studying the material for the IT qualification known as the CompTIA A+, which if I can attain will make me eminently more attractive to employers in the IT field, what with it proving that I actually know my stuff about computers rather than me having to convince them using nothing more than a CV and a cover letter. I’m attempting to use my time productively when I’m not lapsing into depression, in other words, and on those occasions where I do lapse into depression, at least I have plenty of things I can enjoy to take my mind off said negativity.

Everything is going to be all right. Probably.

#oneaday Day 129: Professionalism Is

Skills are a funny thing. Unlike in the world of roleplaying games, it’s extremely difficult to quantify skills. Sure, you can go and get yourself a qualification, but it’s not a simple case of repeatedly doing the same thing over and over again until a chime sounds and the words “LEVEL UP!” appear over your head. (Unfortunately. Because that would have made assessing learning in the classroom a whole lot easier.)

No, the vast majority of skills that you (well, I) have are not quantifiable in any sense. I can write — well — but that’s difficult to prove except with, well, writing. I can’t point to a character sheet and say “Look! 85 skill points in writing!” when applying for a job. I can just say things along the lines of “I’m excellent at writing” and “I have a strong attention to detail and think people who use the wrong ‘your’ should be abused with sledgehammers” or the like. I can also correct typos without too many people noticing.

It’s even worse with IT skills. I can use computers, and I have a knack for being able to find creative solutions to problems if something’s behaving strangely. When putting my new PC together the other day, I found myself frustrated with the woeful instructions that came with it and just worked things out for myself. Sure, it took me a little while to figure out that you can actually unscrew and take out 3.5″ drive bays in order to fit a hard drive in them — I thought it was a bit stupid to expect Eugene Victor Tooms levels of contortion just to screw in a storage device — but I got there in the end. (Also, bonus points if you know the reference.) However, the ability to “find things out” isn’t quantifiable in any way, and short of someone plonking me down in front of a broken computer and saying “fix it!” there’s no way I can prove that I’m “good with computers”.

I guess this is where all those lessons you had in Persuasive Writing back in school come in handy. It’s up to you to convince people that you are The Right Person for the Job by using suitably flowery language and/or carefully referencing things you know about the person in question. And it doesn’t always work, as my year’s worth of “we have decided to pursue another candidate” emails and letters will attest.

But oh well. Some good has come of my skills and abilities — I’m writing for sites I like on a freelance basis, and that in itself is giving me a sizeable portfolio of experience that I can point at should I find myself in the running for a full-time position somewhere. While it may not be a character sheet with 85 skill points in the Writing skill, it’s the next best thing.

#oneaday Day 65: Character Sheet

RPGs, as everyone knows, are nonsense. No amount of battering your way through the world’s wildlife with a stick repeatedly makes you powerful enough to take down, say, a helicopter with your bare hands. But that’s not to say that we don’t have our own special skills and abilities of our own. So here, in the style of Final Fantasy XIII thanks to the many and varied roles I have taken on over the years, is my official Character Sheet. (Bonus points if you can figure out how I calculated my EXP, amount of EXP to next level, HP and MP, because yes, I am nerdy enough to work out a system to do just that.)

Pete
Hume M
Level 29

HP: 1557/1557
MP: 5/358

EXP: 261696
NEXT: 1320

Role: WRITER (WRI), Lv. 25
Bonus: Adds to party’s Grammatical Error detection radius.

Abilities
Literate: Read and write.
Literata: Read and write well.
Literataga: Read and write well enough to do professionally.
Literataja: Read and write super-fast to borderline-inhuman deadlines.
Barego: Protect against bruised ego.
Bolster: Restore morale.
Enhumor: Add Comedy element to attacks, cancel Sadness status.
Eninform: Add Knowledge element to attacks, cancel Ignorance status.
Yankbrit: Toggle stance between British and American English.

Role: TEACHER (TCH), Lv. 3
Bonus: Double EXP acquisition for other party members.

Abilities
Teach: Able to explain general things in some detail.
Teacha: Able to explain complicated concepts to inexperienced types.
Teachaga: Able to explain complicated concepts without getting frustrated.
Teachaja: Able to adapt explanations on the fly while teaching several targets.
War Cry: Inflict Silence on all targets temporarily.
Bolster: Restore morale.
Eninform: Add Knowledge element to attacks, cancel Ignorance status.
Patience: Cancel Berserk status on self. Usable once per day.

Role: BARD (BRD), Lv. 25
Bonus: Increased success rate of party buffs.

Abilities
Piano: Equip Piano-class equipment.
Clarinet: Equip Clarinet-class equipment.
Saxophone: Equip Saxophone-class equipment.
Bellowing Honk: (Requires Saxophone) Knockback and Stun all targets.
Piercing Screech: (Requires Clarinet) Silence and Slow all targets.
Shine on Me: Buff the party with Barbershop Power.
Pinkapingpangpong: Confuse all targets.
Rachmaninoff’s Fury: Inflict punch damage over a slightly wider-than-usual radius.
Perform: 50/50 chance to Impress or Depress friendly target.
Accompany: Double attack power of any Soloist in the party.
Accompanya: Triple attack power of any Soloist in the party.
Accompanyaga: Max out Soloists’ attack power and add your own.

Role: NERD (NRD), Lv. 25
Bonus: Bolster party’s performance in video game-related quizzes.

Abilities
Score Attack: Spend an entire ATB bar increasing your score on Geometry Wars.
Recognition: Increased chance to recognise obscure music from Japanese games.
Unfazed: Impossible for bizarre/impossible events to inflict Confusion status.
Desensitised: Think of the children!
Persistence: Extra chance at all failable actions, chance of Boredom status increases.
Fix: Restore HP to Mechanical or Electrical targets.
Break: Damage Mechanical or Electrical targets with increased efficiency.
Google: Impossible to be inflicted with Ignorance status if in an area with Wi-Fi.
Maru: Summon cat videos.
Marua: Summon a cat video appropriate to the occasion.
Maruga: Summon the perfect cat video for the occasion to escape from danger.

Role: RETAIL MONKEY (RMK), Lv. 2
Bonus: Double Gil from sold items.

Abilities
Sell: Sell items.
Sella: Sell junk items.
Sellaga: Sell junk and regular items for increased profit.
eBay: Sell items to people in other zones.
eBaya: Sell junk items to people in other zones.
eBayaga: Sell junk and regular items to people in other zones for increased profit.
Packin’: Equip Packing Tape Dispenser-class equipment.
Cable Management: Remove Tangled status from Mechanical or Electrical targets.

Role: EMPATH (EMP), Lv. 10
Bonus: Decreased chance for friendly party members to suffer Debuffs.

Abilities
Listen: Listen.
Listena: Listen without judging.
Listenaga: Listen without judging or offering stupid advice.
Empathy: Transfer all negative status effects from friendly target to self.
Empatha: Remove one negative status effect that both you and target are suffering.
Empathaga: Remove all negative status effects from target, inflict Confusion on self.
Bolster: Restore morale.

Did I miss anything? Obviously I’m leaving my Limit Breaks a secret as I don’t want to play my hand too early.

#oneaday, Day 4: The Application Letter I’d Actually Like to Write

Dear Employer,

Hello. My name’s Pete, and I’m a fully-functional human being able to perform tasks for you in exchange for money. I’m not actually that fussy about the tasks you’d like me to perform, so long as they at least fall under the category of “things that I’m capable of doing”.

Things that I’m capable of doing, if you were curious (which you should be) include the following:

Typing like the clappers (anywhere between 85 and 100wpm depending on how easy your test is)
Producing good-quality writing at short notice (as this blog which I update every day will hopefully attest)
Spotting mistakes in others’ writing and being able to correct them, with a particular focus on people who do not understand the difference between “your” and “you’re”.
Inspiring a viral trend of people to get off their behinds (or, more accurately, get back on their behinds, only in a different context) and get creative—see the One A Day Project, up to 105 participants at the time of writing.
5-Star “Poker Face” on Dance Central (but, eh, let’s keep that one our little secret, shall we?)
Teaching people who have no idea how to use a computer how to use a computer in terms they can understand.
Being honest about the things I don’t know or understand, and finding the information out for myself.
Being able to sit down in front of a new piece of software and get to grips with it very quickly.
Feature on, edit, produce and release a podcast (see: the Squadron of Shame, soon to return after our holiday break)
Using Aperture and Photoshop for photo-tweakage.
Having an opinion worth listening to (see: the number of people who are playing Recettear: An Item Shop’s Tale at least partly because of my enthusing)
Write words on paper that people can actually understand without having to resort to words such as “timeously”, “leverage” and “monetize”.

You may think that the vast majority of experience on my CV isn’t exactly relevant to the position you’re advertising. And you’d probably be right. But man is far more than a list of past positions on a piece of paper. He is the sum of his skills, experiences, memories and adaptability. And I have all of the above in spades, meaning that I’d be more than happy to turn my hand to something new. And not only that, the fact that I can learn new things incredibly quickly and retain them easily means that even if I’ve never done the exact job you’re advertising before, I’m pretty certain that I could do well at it if you simply explain what it is I have to do first.

I’ve also been out of regular work since last March, which means that by hiring me you’d be doing your bit to help the UK out of its “millions of people unemployed” situation. I haven’t even been claiming any benefits, but might start having to pretty soon. By hiring me, you’d be allowing some of that taxpayers’ money to be spent on something useful rather than keeping me provided with Lemsip, toilet paper and Eccles cakes.

But above all, by hiring me, you’d be helping both yourself and me. You’d be giving me a job, some financial security, a reason to get up in the morning and something upon which to focus my efforts. And I’d be giving you a committed, grateful, industrious worker who will do his utmost to show you he’s the best damn person-who-can-fulfil-the-position-you’re-advertising ever.

So think about it, huh? Do you want the person who writes the predictable but completely empty-of-soul letter that proclaims how supposedly “passionate” they are about whatever your industry is, and how much of a “generalist” they are? Or do you want the actual human being?

Thanks for your time. I’ll be right here while I don’t have anything better to do of a day. Call me. Email me. Hire me.

Pete

#oneaday, Day 265: Skill Points

Take a minute, now, to take stock of yourself. Specifically, take stock of the skills you have. And don’t say that you don’t have any. Everybody has skills of some description, whether it’s the ability to make the perfect Angel Delight without the use of a measuring jug, the ability to excite women simply by looking at them, an understanding of the various wires, pipes and bendy things that make up a car engine or being able to do something awesome like play the piano.

It’s quite a strange experience to suddenly be conscious of your own skills. But there are times when it happens. It often doesn’t happen when you’re young or lacking in self-confidence. But at some point in your life, something flips a switch in your head and says, “Hey. You’re awesome. It’s okay to think that.” Not in an arrogant way, simply in the sense that you can picture a task in front of you—be it making said Angel Delight, exciting said women or… you get the idea—and feel confident that yes, you probably are going to be able to pull that off.

You know you’re at that stage when you casually mention something you’re doing to friends and they’re all “Oh wow! That’s so awesome!” and you’re all like “Yeah, whatever.” and then they’re all “No, SRSLY, that’s AWESOME!” and you’re like “Really?” and they’re all “Yeah!” and you get all proud of yourself and then a bit guilty that you’re feeling pride because it’s one of the Seven Deadly Sins after all and you don’t want to end up in a field shouting “WHAT’S IN THE FUCKIN’ BOX?!” and finding spoilers in the spoiler. (Yes, I know the Statute of Limitations was up on Se7en years ago.)

But it’s actually a pretty cool feeling. Particularly when you realise that rather than being someone quite a way down the “pecking order” of “talent”, whatever your skill might be, you’re actually pretty high up, and that people know that, realise that and respect you for it.

My skills that I’m most proud of? (Hi, Satan.) Music and writing. I’m sure there are ways I could improve both. I know for a fact I’m not as good a musician as many of my peers and friends, for example. But I’m satisfied with the skills I’ve got, I’m an awesome accompanist and my sight-reading skills are the stuff of legend. Amongst musicians. Who tell legends about sight-reading.

And my writing: if you’re reading this, take a look at the number at the top. 265 days. That’s how much I love my writing. 265 days of wanking on about bollocks, at least 500 words at a time. Some of it is bullshit. Some of it is profound. Some of it is non-descript. But I like all of it. I see some trusted friends, peers and colleagues being so very hard on themselves and their writing sometimes. And it actually makes me glad for once; while there are many things I would like to change and/or improve about myself, my writing is the one thing that I generally find myself feeling happy and satisfied with and, dare I say it, proud of.

So take a moment the next time you have a free second. Put down that celebrity gossip rag, that chocolate eclair or that tube of personal lubricant. Think about yourself. Think about what you’re good at. And take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back. Well done. You do a great job on that thing you’re really good at.