1638: Trying Again

I went to the gym today. It’s a bit of a trek from where we are now, particularly without a car, but I felt the need to get out of the house for a bit rather than sitting alone in it all day fretting about whether or not I should be doing more to get a job.

They say that doing some exercise is a good idea when you’re feeling low, and for sure I’ve been feeling physically somewhat shitty as well as mentally recently. Thus I figured doing something to loosen up my stiff, tired, stressed-as-fuck body would probably be a good idea, but I didn’t want to go too crazy right away since it’s been a while since I was in a good routine. (I don’t know how likely I am to get into a good routine this time around, but I have done it before, so never say never.)

I decided that I’d try a programme I’ve had some success with in the past: the Couch to 5k system. For the uninitiated, this is a regime where you do some running three times a week, beginning relatively slow — just under half an hour of alternating a minute of running and a minute and a half of walking — and gradually working your way up to, in theory anyway, being able to run 5km — or at least to be able to keep running without stopping for half an hour.

I’ve made it through this programme once in the past, and it had a noticeable impact on my fitness. I’m not sure how much it helped me actually lose weight — I really struggle to shed weight, which is hugely demoralising when embarking on an exercise programme — but it certainly got me feeling fitter, less likely to get out of breath and so forth. It’d be nice to be able to keep it up enough to get back into that state.

The previous times I’ve tried this programme I’ve done it outside, running around my local area. It’s easy to feel self-conscious when doing this, but I normally put some loud music on and its straightforward enough to tune out what’s going on around you and focus on what you’re doing.

The difficulty, however is that the environment outside is less than predictable. The weather can vary, the surfaces on which you’re running can vary and there are hills to go up and down — usually at particularly inconvenient moments. As such, I decided to give it a go on the treadmill today — a predictable environment that I’m in full control of, in an air-conditioned room rather than being under the blazing summer sun.

It worked really well, and I was surprised that I managed to get through the first day of the programme without too much difficulty. I felt something of a “wall” about halfway through the session, but I pushed through and kept going rather than giving in to the little voice in my head urging me to stop and relax for a moment, and before long I was at the end.

My musical accompaniment for the session was the soundtrack to Final Fantasy XIV, whose battle themes make for an excellent workout accompaniment. I’ll definitely be making use of that playlist again, just to add a little drama to proceedings.

I’m in two minds as to whether to go back tomorrow and do some weights work before continuing the programme on Wednesday, or whether to just have a rest tomorrow. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow, I guess.

1470: Move

Well, I did it; a little later than intended due to an all-round shitty week last week, but did it nonetheless: I got up early and battled through my own sense of inadequacy to have a very slow run, kicking off yet another attempt at the Couch to 5K program.

My trouble with getting up, out and exercising at the moment is the fear that it’s going to be difficult and painful. The rational response to this is “well, of course it is” but the irrational side of me uses that as a reason to want to put it off. I’m not sure why, though, because putting it off for longer is just going to make it more difficult and painful in the long run, which will just make me feel worse, which is ultimately somewhat counter-productive, to say the least.

What I’ve found I need to do in the past is try not to worry about what other people think of me, and try not to compare myself to others. I am woefully unfit and rather overweight, so of course I’m not going to be able to run as well as that guy with the frighteningly muscular legs who just overtook me. It’s hard not to compare and want to push yourself, though — but in my current physical condition, pushing myself too hard just makes me want to stop completely which, again, is ultimately somewhat counter-productive.

What I generally try to do is to blot out the outside world as much as possible. When it’s crappy weather like this, I put on my hoodie and put the hood up, and put some loud music on to encourage me to give it my best. Today I had on my “Gym Battles” playlist from the last time I had a half-hearted fitness drive, which includes a selection of anime themes plus battle music from a variety of RPGs — all of which make fantastic exercise music, I might add. The soundtrack to Split/Second also makes for brilliant running music, so I can highly recommend that if you have a copy.

Now I’m back and about to have breakfast, and my legs are aching. I’m sure they’re going to hurt even more later and tomorrow, but that’s an oddly satisfying feeling — it’s physical evidence that you’ve worked hard and done something positive. So long as it doesn’t continue aching for too long, that is!

I’m going to try and support the occasional running with some Wii Fit. I don’t want to set myself too ambitious goals so I get disheartened and don’t stick to them, but at the same time I also don’t want to waste my time. I’ll have to experiment a bit and see what works for me in the long run.

For now let’s hope I can keep this up for a while at least.

#oneaday Day 903: Running Review

I’ve been running through the Couch to 5K programme again, no pun intended. If you’re unfamiliar with this well-paced running programme, check out the image at the end of this post for more information. Also, play through Emi’s path on Katawa Shoujo and you’ll really want to do it.

Ahem. Anyway. Tonight was the first day of my fourth week on the programme. I’ve done it through to completion once previously, but that was quite a while ago now and my fitness has lapsed somewhat, so I decided to start again. Week 4 is where the pace starts to step up a bit and the jumps in difficulty begin to become more noticeable. For example, tonight I did two three-minute runs and two five-minute runs; on the previous trip out, I did two minute-and-a-half runs and two three-minute runs.

I got on pretty well. I didn’t have to stop at all, and I paced myself well. Said pace is still fairly glacial compared to people who aren’t carrying around as much weight as I am, but I’m satisfied so far.

One thing I remember noticing last time I did all this and am noticing again now is the fact that running is good stress relief. It’s actually probably exercise in general, but I’m finding it particularly apparent while running.

When I say “stress relief” I don’t necessarily mean “making the stress go away”. If it was possible to just make stress dissipate… well, then the world would be a much nicer place. (I also don’t mean “stress relief” in the same way that J-List refers to “stress relief toys”. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t worry.)

No, what I mean, in fact, is that running seems to “shake things loose” in my head. Stressful thoughts which have been clogging up my head all day come to the fore, particularly when reaching the end of a session. This isn’t always a massively pleasant experience, but it can be helpful and cathartic in the long run. It’s easy for stressful thoughts to get “backed up” and simply cause you to “feel stressed” all day for no specific reason — releasing these thoughts helps dissipate that vague “meh” feeling, though naturally you still have the specific thoughts themselves to deal with.

The human brain is weird.

Anyway, I’m happy with my progress on Couch to 5K so far. I remember being impressed with myself when I made it through the last time I did so, and being even more impressed when I successfully made it through an entire 10K race in London. (Okay, again I wasn’t especially quick, but at least I didn’t come in last place!) I’m contemplating setting myself some sort of target such as another race somewhere so I have something to aim for — the end of the programme is all very well and good, but where do you go from there?

Well, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now I shall enjoy the small victory of successfully running for 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 3 minutes and 5 minutes without stopping.

#oneaday Day 768: Two Weeks

Two weeks of my second runthrough of the Couch to 5K running programme, that is, and it’s going reasonably well so far.

Much as I discovered last time, building up stamina is actually a somewhat easier process than you might expect. I’m not sure if this is just because I’ve been doing semi-regular exercise for a while, a hangover from the last time I ran through this programme or something else entirely, but in the space of two weeks I’ve found that each time out there gets slightly, marginally easier than the last.

Of course, at this point in the programme I’m still only running for a minute and a half at a time, then walking for two minutes, then repeating the process. But still, every great journey starts with a single step and all that.

Running has, for me, always been one of the most challenging exercises there is to do, partly because there’s nothing “helping you”. Even when you’re running downhill, your body still has to do stuff, whereas on a bike all you have to do on a downhill stretch is stay upright and occasionally steer. But when you’re running, you’re constantly active — moving your body, lifting your entire body weight off the ground, shifting your legs, pushing forwards, pumping your arms, working all those muscles. It’s a pretty intense workout all round, so it’s perhaps not surprising that it’s pretty challenging.

As I found the last time I tried all this, though, it’s infinitely more interesting than running/cycling/rowing/whatever it is you’re doing on a crosstrainer on the spot, staring at a digital readout, trying desperately to ignore the terrible, terrible music the gym is pumping into your ears and also trying desperately not to look at the visible panty line of the woman with the nice arse in the yoga pants on the machine in front of you.

Sorry, momentarily distracted there.

But no. It is infinitely more interesting than working out in a gym simply because you have freedom, and that’s important. Okay, it becomes harder to control your workout so precisely when you have to deal with the sometimes unpredictable undulations of the route you decide to take, and at times you find yourself dodging pedestrians, dogs, low-flying seagulls and various animals’ poo. But that makes it interesting and exciting, even if you’re running the same route every day. You can mix things up by running at different times — that loop round the estate and past Sainsbury’s looks quite different when the sun has set to how it looks in the daytime. You can go the other way. You can take a random turning elsewhere and deliberately get lost in order to explore the area. You can run down darkened country lanes with a torch in the dead of night and pretend you’re Alan Wake. You can run down mysterious forest paths in the hope you might find some magical kingdom or The Faraway Tree inside (hint: you probably won’t, and all that is likely waiting for you at the other end is a large, muddy field that smells a bit like shit). In short, you can have a bit of fun with your exercising rather than enduring the businesslike approach of the gym.

That’s not saying the gym’s bad, of course — it’s good to have a sense of structure and “formality” to your workouts at times. But it’s also helpful to get out there and enjoy yourself with it, otherwise it simply becomes a chore, and chores are no fun whatsoever, and then they don’t get done and they build up and you feel guilty and obliged to do them all at once and then you swear never to let them get to that stage ever again and then you do and you swear lots and then you die.

Or something. Perhaps not.

This is my experience, anyway. I still go to the gym and I still enjoy doing so, but getting out there and running through my thrice-weekly Couch to 5K sessions has reminded me that going outside and Doing Stuff can be fun too. I recommend you try it.

#oneaday Day 758: Keep Moving!

Thus far the return to a regular fitness routine has been going pretty well. I’ve shaken off all vague feelings of illness, so I can’t use that as an excuse any more, and I have a variety of activities that I’m able to do so I don’t get bored. Also, as stupid as it sounds, associating the act of running with one of my favourite characters from Katawa Shoujo — that’s Emi, for anyone not tuning out when I mention that game now — gives me a positive attitude towards it, even if I suck in comparison to people who are fitter and slimmer than me.

Fitness is tricky business, though, as anyone who has tried to get themselves into a decent routine and struggled will attest. Just arbitrarily deciding that you are going to “get fit” isn’t enough for most people, in my experience. You need things to aim for and the means through which to motivate yourself.

I thought what I’d do today is share what I’m doing in the hope that it might rub off on some of you. Feel free to pinch any of my ideas if you’re struggling with the whole “motivation” thing.

First up, I have a selection of things to do — I don’t do the same thing all the time. If you’re a gym member, it’s easy to think that you should be using the gym as much as possible, and when you’re there, it’s also very easy to get stuck in a rut doing the same routine over and over and over again. And sure, sticking to a routine can allow you to work on the parts of the body that you’d really like to focus on, but good grief it gets boring after a while.

So mix it up. When you’re at the gym, try some different machines. If you do weight training, use the machines sometimes and the free weights at others. Try using barbells if you normally use dumbbells. Challenge some different cardiovascular machines. Bump up the difficulty. Set yourself more lofty targets — ten minutes, twenty minutes, thirty minutes. Challenge yourself to meet those targets without stopping for a rest, or with only a certain number of rests, or completing a certain amount of distance in that time period.

But don’t necessarily stick to the gym. Go outside and do something like cycling or running. While you may feel horrendously self-conscious attempting to perambulate your wheezing carcass at a faster speed than your normal zombie-like shamble in an environment that contains other people, there are plenty of ways to tune out the outside world. Loud music, for example — and we’ll come back to that point in a minute. The clothing you wear makes a difference, too — hide your face under a hoodie or a hat and you’ll feel much less self-conscious, plus you get the added bonus of being able to pretend you’re Ezio Auditore running away from the city guards. That and keeping the windchill off your ears, too. Also bear in mind that there’s a strong possibility that anyone who sees you running — especially in inclement weather conditions — will be impressed at your dedication to bettering yourself. (This rule is also known as the “Fat People Shouldn’t Be Ashamed To Be Seen At The Gym Rule”.)

On the subject of music, pick something that inspires you. No-one else is going to hear it (unless you have crap headphones that leak sound everywhere, and even then only if you’re exercising around other people and playing your music at full volume) so it can be absolutely anything you want, even the most shameful of crap in your iTunes library. In fact, in the age of Spotify, you can feel free to try out different genres of music to see what gets your pumped up. You may find that 80s cheese does the trick, or thumping dance beats, or — God forbid — dubstep.

Podcasts are a good thing to insert into your earholes while you’re exercising too, not because they’re inherently energetic in themselves, but because they provide the illusion of time passing more quickly. By concentrating on the sound of peoples’ voices and what they are saying, you’ll find you naturally stop clockwatching, simply letting your body run on automatic while you listen to, say, the Minotti brothers yelling at each other on the Exploding Barrel Podcast, or the Squadron of Shame waxing lyrical about chin-strokey gaming topics.

My personal recommendation for listening material is to check out some soundtracks, both movies and games. Action movie soundtracks and games that are full of spectacle typically provide excellent soundtracks to work out to — particular favourites of mine include the soundtracks to Speed, the Matrix series, Metal Gear Solid, Split/Second, Shadow of the Colossus (particularly awesome when lifting weights), the bizarrely cheerful soundtrack to the iPhone version of DoDonPachi Resurrection and Space Channel 5. If you’re a JRPG fan, battle themes are particularly awesome to work out to. If you can create a crescendo of intensity culminating in the most epic final boss themes you can find, so much the better. There’s no better feeling than finishing that last set of reps as the choir starts belting out One Winged Angel.

Finally, and I think this is probably the most powerful motivational factor in my case: track your progress. It’s very easy to get stuck in a rut, but to see measurable results provides powerful inspiration to push yourself harder and go a little further. Exactly how you do this is up to you, but as a gamer and social media junkie I use Runkeeper to track cardiovascular workouts (including mapping my runs when I go outside) and the very excellent Fitocracy social game/network to log complete workouts. I also share my completed workouts on Facebook and Twitter. While some may not like the “spam”, it’s easy enough to ignore, and the few people who do congratulate me on a job well done after the fact makes it worthwhile.

On that note, if you can build up a support network for yourself — be it people you regularly work out with or online friends who cheer you on from afar — you’ll find yourself motivated to succeed, particularly if they’re the sort of friends who would rib you mercilessly if you give up. If you’re going through a programme like the Couch to 5K thing I shared with you all the other day, then work with a friend or team to get through it together.

Above all, though, have fun with it. It may feel like work at times because it is — it’s something you need to make yourself do, and made of activities that your body often doesn’t feel like doing if you tend to live a fairly sedentary lifestyle. But unlike going to actual work, you’re free to tackle it and make it fun in whatever manner you please rather than sitting in a cubicle allowing your soul to be sucked out through your ergonomically-designed management keyboard.

I hope that’s made some of you think a bit. C’mon, if I can get off my arse and get active, I’m pretty sure that you (yes, you, with the beard/glasses/pointy nose/weird hair/lovely hair/nice tits/flatulence/worryingly prominent erection/kind face/greasy trout in your hand/jar of olives clutched to your breast/smelly armpits [delete as applicable]) can do it too.

#oneaday Day 756: Emi’s Inspiration

Bettering yourself is a difficult thing to do. First of all, you have to really want to change, which isn’t necessarily the same as not liking something about yourself. It’s the difference between self-pitying cries of “I hate that I’m like this!” and inspirational yells of “I may be like this now, but you better watch out, cause I’ma kick your ass!” or something equally obnoxious.

There are lots of ways you might want to change yourself. It could be eating better, working on a new creative project, getting more exercise. Chances are, there is something you would rather do better — probably even several things. Once you’ve picked one, that’s where the challenge comes in — motivation to begin.

Inspiration can come from the strangest places. In this post back in 2009, I commented on the strange effect that changing my Second Life avatar from one which loosely looked like me to someone rather more buff an’ ting had on me. I suddenly felt inspired to better myself, and to attempt to hammer and chisel my flabby body into some sort of shape, to be more like my virtual self.

Well, I can’t say that it had a massive effect on me — I’m still overweight and would very much like to change that — but that initial push over the edge gave me some preliminary interest in fitness, and the knowledge that yes, I could do it if I applied myself.

Later on, I tried the Couch to 5K running programme, which takes 9 weeks to get you from wheezing, sweating mess up to someone who can run continuously for half an hour without stopping. It’s an excellent system, and one which has a very positive impact on anyone who tries it. But again, it can sometimes be difficult to get started.

One of the interesting things that those of us who have played Katawa Shoujo noticed was the inspirational effect that some of the characters had on members of the community. I’m not necessarily even talking in the “overcoming their disability” sense — rather, I’m referring to certain admirable character traits which a number of the girls in the game demonstrate to both protagonist Hisao and the player themselves proving to be a powerful motivational factor.

The most oft-cited example of this is Emi, an amputee girl and track star who describes herself as “The Fastest Thing on No Legs”. She overcame her disability to become a strong, fit runner, so why shouldn’t a person without a physical disability be able to do the same thing, too?

You can probably see where this is going.

What would happen, then, if you combined the infectiously cheerful, never-give-up personality of Emi with the well-paced Couch to 5K programme? Well, you get the following chart, which I include here after the break as a courtesy to that certain subset of you who have played Katawa Shoujo and are considering taking up running but having absolutely no idea where to start. Indeed, even those of you who haven’t played Katawa Shoujo but would like to be able to run for more than five seconds without HHNNNGGGGing can benefit from this. (To support the programme, I also recommend downloading this app for iPhone.)

As for me, I’m back into an almost-regular gym routine but haven’t done a long run for quite some time, so am planning on ploughing through the whole Couch to 5K programme again — with Emi’s help, of course — very soon. I shall be providing occasional progress updates on here when I can be bothered and/or when I don’t have anything interesting to write about that day.

Why don’t you get up off your arse and join me? See you on the track.

(Click Continue Reading if you’re on the front page to see Emi’s chart.)

Continue reading “#oneaday Day 756: Emi’s Inspiration” →

#oneaday, Day 282: If You Hold Down The [CANCEL] Button To Run (Earlier Marked [X])

(Fifty Epic Win points if you know where the title of this post came from.)

Yes, it’s another running-related post, so soon after the last one… I know, I know. But I wanted to share this as it seems I was a little inaccurate with my description of the Couch 2 5K programme last time I talked about it.

I was surprised to discover as I fired up the GetRunning iPhone app today that Week 5 Day 2 is not, in fact, the same as Week 5 Day 1. I thought there was some mistake when I saw that I would be running for two lots of eight minutes today. But no, it turns out that it was, in fact, correct. And the fact that on Thursday I have to run for twenty minutes non-stop is also, in fact, correct. Scary.

To prevent staleness of posts, I now present to you tonight’s run in the form of the output from a text-based adventure/RPG game, circa 1987.

—

West Street

You’re standing outside your house. It’s pretty dark, and pretty cold.

The street runs to the northeast and southwest.

A voice from the iPhone in your pocket indicates that you should start walking in order to warm up.

>INVENTORY

You are carrying:
thermals
torch (off)
iPhone (on)

>TURN ON TORCH

The light of the torch illuminates the area around your feet, but little else. It should be enough to see where you’re going, at least.

>NE

You’re about to start walking when a chill blast of air hits you in the face.

You are afflicted with cold.
You take 5 damage from cold.

>EQUIP THERMALS

Thermals: equipped.

Cold resistance +50.

You are no longer afflicted with cold.

>NE

You set off at a brisk walk.

T-Junction

You have reached the point where three roads—West Street, Eltisley Road and Fox Street—meet.

Eltisley Road runs to the northeast. West Street runs to the southwest. Fox Street runs to the southeast.

>SE

You continue walking.

Fox Street

This street houses the one and only shop in the village, and also one of the few lamp-posts that illuminate the silent streets.

The road continues to the southeast. There is a T-junction to the northwest.

>SE

You continue walking.

Crossroads

You’re at the point where four streets meet. There’s a sign on a small mound showing the name of the village and arguably its most distinguishing feature, the ancient windmill.

Fox Street runs to the northwest. Caxton Road runs to the northeast. Middle Street runs to the southwest. East Street runs to the southeast.

You feel a bit warmer.

>NE

Caxton Road

This road is home to some new housing developments and as such has more streetlamps than the rest of the village combined. There’s a fishing pond by the side of the road which is somewhat difficult to see. You’re glad you brought a torch that actually works.

The road continues to the northeast. The crossroads is to the southwest.

A voice from the iPhone in your pocket indicates that you should start running now… for eight minutes. That sounds like an awful lot. You’d better be careful to pace yourself.

>NE

The disembodied voice told you you should run.

>NE

The disembodied voice told you you should run.

>RUN NE

You set off at a brisk run.

Industrial Estate

For such a tiny village, the industrial estate is surprisingly well-populated by a variety of businesses. They are all closed for the night now, but bright orange and white lights illuminate the courtyard of the estate.

Caxton Road runs northeast and southwest. The industrial estate itself continues to the southeast.

>NE

You continue running.

You lose 5 fatigue points.

Recreation Ground

There’s a large sports field here that, during the day, is typically home to team sports such as football. It’s also been known to play host to some pretty epic Blues and Soul music shows in a giant marquee in the past.

Caxton Road runs northeast and southwest. The football pitch is to the southeast.

>NE

You continue running.

You lose 5 fatigue points.

You are beginning to feel a little breathless.

Dark Road

It’s pretty dark down here. You can see a house by the side of the road, but it’s clear the occupants are either out or in bed as there’s no light emanating from it. The only light you can see is the fairly pathetic beam from your torch.

Caxton Road runs northeast and southwest. Another road branches off to the south.

You continue running.

You lose 5 fatigue points.

You are tired.

Sand Road

It’s dark down here, and there are no distinguishing features save a smell of horse shit in the air.

Sand Road continues to the southwest, or Caxton Road lies to the north.

>SW

You continue running.

You lose 5 fatigue points.

You are knackered.

A voice from the iPhone in your pocket indicates that you can stop running and should walk for five minutes. You feel a sense of relief.

Sand Road, Civilised End

This end of Sand Road has a few houses and even a few streetlamps glowing with a bright orange light to illuminate your way. The smell of horse shit is fainter here.

Sand Road continues into darkness to the northeast. A brightly-lit crossroads lies to the southwest.

>SW

You walk, legs slightly wobbly.

You regain 5 fatigue points.

You are tired.

Brightly-Lit Crossroads

This crossroads is illuminated by a bright white streetlamp which gives the illusion of brilliant moonlight. Roads lead in four directions.

Mill Road drops down a hill to the southeast. East Street runs to the northwest. Sand Road leads northeast. Church Street bends off into darkness to the southwest.

>SW

You walk, legs slightly wobbly.

You regain 5 fatigue points.

You are no longer breathless.

A voice from the iPhone in your pocket indicates that you should start running.

>RUN SW

You set off at a run, your legs a bit stiffer than before.

Church Street

Church Street is not especially well-lit, but you can just make out the fact it bends around a sharp corner.

The road continues to the west. A gate leads into thick darkness to the south.

You continue running.

You lose 5 fatigue points.

You are tired.

Churchyard

The churchyard by night is a place of solitude and quiet reflection. It’s also pitch dark, making it a bit creepy. Fortunately, your torch is holding out for the moment.

A path leads through the churchyard and down a hill into even thicker darkness to the south. Church Street is to the north. The church itself is to the southwest.

You continue running.

Running downhill is easier.

You lose 2 fatigue points.

You are tired.

Inky Blackness

Beyond the churchyard, trees and bushes surround the path, cutting off all sources of light bar your torch. You can hear the sound of running water from somewhere.

By the light of your torch, you can see that the path leads up a shallow hill to the south. The churchyard lies up a steep hill to the north.

You continue running.

Running uphill is hard. This hill is steeper than it looked a moment ago.

You lose 10 fatigue points.

You are knackered.

Horse Field

You’re on a narrow path that slopes gently upwards to the south and back down towards the churchyard to the north. A thin rope fence surrounds the path. In the darkness just beyond the fence, you can just make out a few horses grazing in the fields.

The path continues up a gentle slope to the south, or back downhill to the north.

You continue running.

Running uphill is hard. This hill is steeper than it looked a moment ago.

You lose 10 fatigue points.

You are completely knackered.

A voice from the iPhone in your pocket indicates that you should stop running.

You’ve done it! That’s two eight-minute runs! Now all you have to do is walk home.

** YOUR ADVENTURE IS OVER **

Would you like to (R)estart, (L)oad a saved game or (Q)uit?

C:\>_

#oneaday, Day 259: Home Again

I prepared the above comic in advance just in case I was too knackered to do a proper one upon returning from London. And I am pretty knackered. But I managed to get my ass outside and go running tonight. At 9pm. In the dark. In a country village. At least I remembered to take a torch with me this time; less stumbling wildly into darkness and a little more Alan Wake. Though with less of whatever that game has in it (because I still, to my shame, haven’t played it yet. I KNOW, I KNOW, all right?) and a little more… well, just running. And walking.

I’m following the Couch to 5K programme (again… I started once before) that was originally introduced to me by the fine gentleman that is Mr Calin Grajko. Given that I’m presently in the middle of nowhere (well… the nearest gym is seven miles away) running seems like a safe, easy option to get some exercise without needing any 1) expense and 2) travel. The thing with gyms is, they’re cool and all, but if you’re already feeling lethargic and not wanting to leave the house, then travelling somewhere that is going to cause you to be grunting, breathless and possibly in pain is likely not high on your agenda. Unless you have a favourite hooker at that classy brothel you like so much.

But with running, yes you still have to leave your house, but you don’t have to go anywhere to get started. The world is your gym. And rather than staring at your sweaty, gasping self for half an hour in those mirrors that gyms insist on putting absolutely bloody everywhere, you can take in the scenery. You can take different routes for variety and challenges. You can run in the dark. You can run in the middle of the day. In the cold. In the warm. In the wet. And you can use fancy-pants iPhone gadgetry to analyse your runs in a level of detail that you really don’t need to. Or, possibly, attempt to run a route which lets you draw a giant cock on Google Maps. (I haven’t done this. But having just thought of it, now I think I pretty much have to.)

So far I’ve completed Week 2, Day 1 of the programme. This meant that tonight was the first time I was running for a bit longer, but also walking for a bit longer too. The pattern for this week is run for 90 seconds, walk for 2 minutes, 6 times. Last week it was run for 60 seconds, walk for 90 seconds, 8 times. This week sounded like it should be easier. It isn’t! Although as I’ve found previously with exercising, it’s actually surprisingly quick to build up a little bit of stamina. I’m obviously not at the stage where I could even think about running a 5k without collapsing dead yet, but I’ve noticed a marginal difference between how easy it is to keep going since the first day I started.

Just gotta keep it up! Fortunately, there’s a good iPhone app to keep the motivation up. It’s called Get Running and it’s really very simple; it’s basically a glorified timer with vocal feedback telling you when to start and stop running, walking and so forth. It also tracks how far you are through the programme and suggests which day you should do next, as well as allowing you to tweet your progress. The nice thing about the vocal feedback is that it’s recorded by a real person, which makes it infinitely more motivational than some robot going “You have… RUN… One. point? SIX! Miles.”

Anyway. I have a bed to get to very shortly. And then lots and lots of things to write in this coming week. Adieu.