London is a city of many surprises. A lot of them are “oh, this part of our illustrious capital is a shithole”, but surprises nonetheless. Today’s excursion was no exception.

Following an event I attended which I can’t talk about (yet) we were recommended to head to an area called “Brick Lane”, with the assurance that “if you like curry, you can’t go far wrong”. I like curry, so it seemed like a sensible choice.

I wasn’t ready for what our party was confronted with. Imagine, if you will, the Las Vegas Strip. Now imagine the street is only one car-width wide and one-way. Now, instead of casinos and strip clubs, imagine every single establishment on the street is a curry house. Now, instead of people in fancy uniforms looking for valet parking and/or prostitution business, imagine every establishment has at least one overly aggressive Asian gentleman outside offering increasingly ridiculous deals in order to get you to frequent his establishment. (The best we heard was 2 free drinks and a 95% discount, which led us to believe that even breathing in the food’s fumes would lead to immediate food poisoning.)

It was quite an experience, the likes of which I’ve never seen anywhere else. The whole street was lit up like a red light district, with curry houses hawking their wares with increasingly outlandish neon displays the further down the street you went.

I’ve only gone and forgotten the name of the place we ate at, but it was quite good. We were recommended by someone who knew Brick Lane’s idiosyncrasies to look out for two things: restaurants that were full, and restaurants that didn’t have anyone hawking their wares outside. Sadly the latter was impossible as every place had someone outside badgering people with crazy deals and discounts that I doubt very much they would have honoured come bill-paying time. But the one we picked was pretty full the whole time we were there.

The toilets smelled absolutely awful, though, like a fetid stench-pit from the very bowels of Hell. Fortunately you couldn’t smell them from the eating area. Probably for the best.

So there’s your tourist attraction of the day. In London? Like curry? Don’t mind being harassed by what are essentially curry-pimps? Then Brick Lane is for you.