Category: F1

I thought I might try and get interested in Formula 1 at one point before I realised (well, reconfirmed, really) that it was really, really boring.

#oneaday, Day 310: Don’t Be Hatin’

Somehow I don’t think that anyone who is reading this blog will fall into the category that I’m about to talk about, but I’ll direct this at everyone generally just in case.

Have you used any kind of expression involving the word “haters” recently in a non-ironic sense? I have one simple request to you: stop it. You sound like an idiot.

I don’t know who was the first person to decide that posting something along the lines of “I don’t give a fuck about the haters” (or, more accurately, usually “i dont giv a fuk abt da haterz!!!”) was a great idea and made them look Deep And Stuff™, but it’s a plague on far too many people on the Internet, many of whom are clearly desperately wishing they were from a socioeconomic and/or ethnic group other than their own.

The latest person to come out with some such bullshit was none other than British Formula 1 racing driver, Lewis Hamilton, who earlier tweeted “To those of u who care, thanks for ur support, am on here for u. To all u haters…I jus don’t give a fuck haha” [sic]. The tweet has since been removed, suggesting one of two possibilities: 1) McLaren got in touch and told Lewis to stop pretending to be 50 Cent (who tweets nonsense like that all the time, but inexplicably occasionally censors himself when he says “shit”) or 2) the tweet wasn’t by him in the first place. Either are entirely plausible.

But let’s assume, for the sake of rantitude, that it actually was Hamilton. Twitter promptly exploded at the fact that a high-profile sports personality who normally came across as a nice, if rather boring, young man on television knows the “fuck” word. Some people even seemed to think that his “taking a stand” like this was somehow admirable. I thought it made him come across as a bit of a cock.

The thing is, in my experience, any time I’ve seen anyone coming out with the “screw u haterz” nonsense, they are desperately insecure and usually spoiling for a fight. Perhaps they like to post unpopular views, troll forums or simply act like a complete penis online. Never once have I come across someone who posts in full sentences and understands what punctuation is who has said “I don’t give a fuck abt da haterz” or similar.

The knock-on effect of this is that it causes people like me, who put a lot of stock in the written word, to judge the people who say this sort of thing, perhaps unfairly. Nine times out of ten (I made that up) the people who post things in this manner online are white middle-class teenagers who desperately, desperately wish they were a street-smart hip-hop gangsta, yo, preferably packing a piece. (I feel extremely middle-class and very English just typing those words. Oh well. Fine by me.) Quite why they want to come across as a “thug” (their word) is beyond me.

So, then, consider it a warning. If you start talking about “haters” and your indifference towards them, I will judge you. And it will not be a favourable judgement.

And Lewis Hamilton? If that was you tweeting that nonsense, I now think you are a cock instead of simply a moderately boring person. Guess I’m a “hater”. At least you don’t give a fuck.

#oneaday, Day 56: Phhhwwwwwweeeeeeooooooowwwwrrrrrr…

I watched a Formula 1 event all the way through from qualifying to the end of the race this weekend. And I enjoyed it.

Sport on TV is a funny thing. Lots of people watch it, yet sitting staring at it on TV seems to somewhat defeat the object – particularly when it comes to physical activities that anyone could have a go at, like football. Admittedly, your average lads’ kickabout in the park doesn’t have quite the finesse of a Premiership match, but at least you don’t have ten thousand braying idiots in the crowd to contend with.

I’ve always had a certain interest in motorsport, though. I wouldn’t call myself a petrolhead by any means since as far as I’m concerned, cars run on black magic. But I appreciate the aesthetic of a nice car, I enjoy driving and I’ve always enjoyed the vicarious thrill of a driving game on the consoles, particularly as they have got more and more realistic over the years. Formula 1 is motorsport taken to its natural extreme, and to watch it on TV is probably as close as most of us will ever get to actually taking part in it.

Critics of the sport say “it’s just people going around in circles”. To them I say “No! NASCAR is going around in circles. Formula 1 has wiggly bits.”

Yes, most motorsport by its very nature involves completing circuits. And the competitive nature of racing teams sometimes means that the cars are so evenly matched that it’s very difficult – if not impossible – for any overtaking to happen, barring driver error. However, today I saw that this is clearly not the case. Firstly, the qualifying sessions were done with the cars optimised for getting the fastest possible lap times. That means minimal fuel and the best tyres for the job. The race itself, though, demanded that 1) the cars be fully laden with fuel and 2) they started on the set of tyres they qualified on. This meant that success in qualifying was by no means a guarantee of success in the race itself – and indeed, the first few laps of the race were a good five seconds slower than the fastest qualifying laps thanks to the extra weight of the full petrol tank, meaning that as the race progressed, any slight differences in weight between the cars could mean the difference between holding on to a position and losing it to someone slightly lighter.

Where things got interesting was, inevitably, when things started to go wrong. Sebastian Vettel, the German driver for the Red Bull team who took Pole in qualifying, had his car develop some sort of difficulty partway through the race, meaning that his comfortable lead he had built up for many, many laps suddenly disappeared and eventually he dropped way back into fourth position. That must have been heartbreaking, but damn, if it didn’t make it interesting to watch as he struggled to maintain his lead with two Ferraris snapping at his heels like angry red dogs.

There have been criticisms of this year’s new rules in F1. I haven’t followed the sport enough to know quite how much difference they will make, but I’ll be interested to see how the season develops. I’m also secretly satisfied I’ve found a sport I’m happy to sit and watch on the TV and will be able to talk about with other people. My long-standing distaste for football means I’m often left out of sporty conversations – as at times here in the UK, it feels like there is no other sport – but I know for a fact that at least a few friends and acquaintances follow F1. Plus if I want to be all nationalistic about it, I only have two names to remember instead of the bajillion monosyllabic gorillas that make up the England football team.

Anyway. Today’s Grand Prix was most enjoyable. I’ll be in the States while the Aussie one is on, but I feel that I’ll be following this season with some interest now.