#oneaday, Day 53: Mr Motivation

Motivation is a curious beast. And it’s not a case of either “having it” or “not having it”, there are many complex factors involved. And sometimes, apparently, blind chance.

Take today. I got my ass soundly kicked by a boss in Final Fantasy XIII (which I am enjoying a lot so a big middle finger to all of you who hate it) so instead of swearing profusely and trying again, I swore profusely, turned off the PS3, said to myself (silently, because saying it out loud with no-one else nearby would just be weird) “I’m going to go and run 10km now,” and then went and ran 10km. I’d say “just like that” but it took over an hour and a half, and anything over a couple of minutes is automatically disqualified from “just like that” status.

Anyway, casual bragging that I’ve achieved my goal of running 10K aside, I find that sudden bursts of motivation like that happen at the strangest of times… and it’s very difficult to force them. Impossible, in fact. They’re a spur-of-the-moment, impulsive sort of thing… which makes it rather inconvenient when you actually need some motivation to do something.

Part of the issue is, of course, prior successes. My running has been a slow but sure upward slope of little victories, one step at a time, and so that has provided ample motivation to continue and keep pushing myself to the next milestone, no pun intended. Contrast this with the jobhunting, on the other hand, which has been a string of ignorance, incompetence and idiocy—none of which was my fault—and it’s understandable how I may be feeling a little disheartened on that particular front. Still, I am cracking on with it and have yet another bunch of applications in now. It remains to be seen if anything will come of these ones. Some of them, again, are even relevant to what I want to do, though the pay is all over the place. I’m kind of taking the opinion now that any money coming in is better than no money, particularly if the job in the question offers a potentially good “foot in the door” for other Good Things. Which at least one of the things I’ve applied for does.

So we shall see. But it has been a long time since I’ve felt that same surge of motivation for the jobhunting than I have for the running. Perhaps it’s because of the difference between something I want to do and something I have to do. No-one likes feeling obliged to do things—given the opportunity, most people would rather be able to stay in bed as long as they like and then spend their days doing any combination of eating pies, playing video games, watching TV, staring at the Internet, wandering through fields of flowers, driving expensive cars very fast, wanking, listening to music, smashing Justin Bieber albums over the heads of people they don’t like very much, giving and/or receiving oral sex, smoking weed, drawing pictures and eating Lindor chocolates—and so anything that you need to do that gets in the way of doing those things that you want is automatically parsed by your brain as being an inconvenience.

Perhaps I just need to want to find a job more. For that to happen, though, I need to spot the Awesomest Job Ever That Is A Complete Shoe-In For My Appointment And That No-One Else Will Ever Apply For.

What’s that? AwesomeTech are looking for a “Playing Final Fantasy In Bed Technician Called Pete” for £50,000 a year? I’m so there.

Sigh. A man can dream, huh?

#oneaday, Day 48: RUN.

It’s been a while since I talked about my exercise-related endeavours, so I figured why the hell not now? (You can, of course, follow my exercise-related Tumblr if you’re that way inclined.)

Basically, it’s going quite well. I’ve done two “long runs” of 8.25km now, which suggests that by the time May and the 10K I’ve signed up for comes around, I’ll be ready to run that distance. It may be slowly and involve a lot of guttural grunting (particularly on hilly bits) but I should be able to at least do it. And why 8.25km? Well, convenience. I set out from my house in one direction, run down a country lane that seems to go on forever (2 miles), turn down a road and do a big loop around on a slightly less country laney country lane that also seems to go on forever before making one last turn onto another, marginally more country laney than the second country lane but less country laney than the first country lane country lane and ending up coming up the street my house is on from the other end. It shouldn’t be too much difficulty to extend the route to 10K, but at the moment I’m pretty knackered by the time I get to this distance, so it’ll be a case of extending it a bit at a time.

I may still be pretty slow, but I’m certainly pleased with my progress since I started towards the end of last year. Setting up some form of “structure” and quasi-reward mechanic has helped enormously. To begin with, this was the Couch 2 5K programme, that got me off my ass and moving in the first place. In the first week of that, I was exhausted by the time I’d been running for just a minute but gradually built up to being able to run for 30 minutes at a time. I started the Bridge 2 10K programme but the holiday period disrupted that somewhat. Rather than go back to that, I’ve simply been doing three runs a week—one pace-setting one of 5K or so, one “long” one (8.25K at the minute, that will eventually become 10K) and one interval training session (currently three sets of four lots of run fast 1 minute, run moderately 1 minute, repeat with 2 minutes of walking in between each set). I’ve been using the RunKeeper app on my phone to track my progress, and it’s always pretty cool to see yourself make some sort of improvement, even if it’s only a matter of seconds. Plus you can use it to draw penises on Google Maps if you get bored.

Alongside this, I’ve recently started using the 100 Pushups and 200 Situps apps for the iPhone. These are very simple apps, just recommending the number of reps you should do in each of five sets, but they’re also effective in providing a bit of structure to your workouts. And structure is good; structure makes you feel like you’re making progress, because you can tick things off (or gain points for them in EpicWin, which is another worthwhile motivational app for iPhones) and see at a glance how “well” you’re doing.

While I doubt I’m ever going to be one of the skin-head tank-top wearing nutcases who frequent British gyms, it’s good to know that I am making some progress, and I bet it’s going to feel pretty damn special to complete that 10K in May.

You think it’s awesome too, right? Sure you do. So you want to fling a few quid my way and sponsor me, don’t you? Of course you do. And very gratefully received it is too.

#oneaday, Day 29: Dedicated to Dedication

It’s hard to talk about your own good qualities without appearing conceited and self-obsessed. But I think we know each other well enough by now for you to be aware that I’m normally one for focusing on the negative things about myself. As such, a rare celebration of Something That I Am Good At should be applauded.

Go on, applaud. (You don’t have to applaud. But good on you if you genuinely started applauding there.)

I have absolutely no hesitation in my mind when someone asks me what my best quality is. Without a doubt, it’s my dedication. If I start something, by God I’m going to finish it come hell or high water. It may take a long time, it may take lots of swearing, but I am going to do it.

This blog is perhaps the most immediate example of this, now a year and ten days of daily posts strong, but there’s plenty of other instances in which this characteristic of myself shows itself. Let’s take today, for example, I woke up in a foul mood and decided after a bit of moping around, a bacon sandwich and two cups of coffee that I was going to go out for a walk in an attempt to clear my head a bit. And it was going to be a “long” walk.

I didn’t have a particular route in mind, nor did I have a particular distance planned. I just set off, pointed in a particular direction and started walking. I reached the next village over from where I live—always a strangely satisfying thing to do, like you’ve made some sort of epic journey—and turned back. I eventually came to a crossroads where I had three choices; go back the way I came (the “short” way), turn right and do a big “loop” around the other next village over (the “moderate” way) or turn left and do an unnecessarily massive “loop” (the “long” way). Guess which way I picked?

That’s right. The long way. I realised shortly into my journey up the long way that the long way was, in fact, considerably longer than I had anticipated, and the fact that I was wearing twice the number of layers on my top half than on my bottom half meant that my torso and head were lovely and toasty, while my testicles were slowly turning into ice blocks. It would have been easy to turn back from the long way and head back via the short way—I hadn’t got that far. But no; I decided I was going to stick out this journey however long it eventually ended up being. (A total of 12.5km altogether, if you were wondering.)

Some may call that stubbornness. Some may call it bloody-mindedness. Some may call it stupidity. I call it dedication to see something through once you start it. And it’s something that’s a regular part of my life. I like that about myself, and it’s not often I get to say that.

#oneaday, Day 312: Quest Complete: C25K

I’ve been somewhat short of what one might call “victories” recently. In fact, most of my endeavours for the last I-don’t-know-how-long-now have ended in what could politely be called failure. As such, I’ve been in a bit of a funk recently, getting very tired of… well, everything, really.

So when an actual, genuine, bona fide victory-slash-achievement rears its head, by golly I’m going to celebrate it.

Tonight I completed the nine week Couch 2 5K running programme, introduced to me by one Mr Calin Grajko, who is a really cool guy and, I have it on good authority, doesn’t afraid of anything. I’ve mentioned this a few times previously, but for those of you who can’t be bothered to look back a few entries, have joined me recently or who are having trouble finding exactly what you want using the search box (which is fine by me), let me explain.

Over the course of nine weeks, you go from being someone who “can’t run” to someone who, well, can. The first week begins with you running for a minute at a time, then walking for 90 seconds, then repeating this process several times. Each week ups the ante somewhat until you reach the final week when, in theory, you should be able to run for 30 minutes at a time without stopping.

When I started the programme, I seriously doubted that I’d ever be able to do more than a couple of minutes at a time. I deliberately hadn’t looked at what horrors the end of the programme had to offer because I figured the system shock would just put me off and demotivate me. So it was a genuine surprise each week to find out what I’d be doing. It was a big surprise in the last few weeks when the jumps started getting bigger.

But I’m pleased to announce that I can now run for 30 minutes without stopping. It’s not easy, sure, and I’m not quite at that elusive 5K distance just yet (not far off, though—my best distance in 30 minutes is 2.99 miles, just under the 3.1 miles that roughly equates to a 5K) but I figure I can get there with a bit more training. Tonight, I felt a noticeable increase in my speed, for example, though that disappeared with the hilly bits towards the end of tonight’s run.

The important thing with any exercise regime is motivation, and making sure you keep this motivation flowing in both the short and long term. By “short term”, I mean “while you’re doing your exercise”, and by “long term” I mean “the duration of the programme and beyond”.

Through this programme, I think I’ve got both of those things pretty comfortably sorted. The long-term motivation is handled nicely by the programme itself—making constant, regular, measurable progress is motivation in and of itself. Plus telling friends that you’ve completed week whatever-it-is is something you can genuinely take pride in, particularly if your friends are appreciative of what you’ve been trying to do.

The short-term motivation—keeping going while in the middle of a session—can be harder. If you run out of energy, you run out of energy. Part of this is about pacing yourself, but it’s also about not getting too bored of what you’re doing as well.

As such, I have made sure to have some banging playlists on my iPhone while out on my running sessions, matched reasonably well-ish with the timings of each session. Me being me, these songs have mostly fallen into the video game soundtrack category. Conveniently, though, the generally regular tempo and “inspiring” nature of a lot of game music makes it entirely appropriate for use in exercising. So without further pontificating on the philosophy of exercise (there are plenty of people out there who can comment on it with much more authority than I) I will share with you my playlist for tonight’s run. iPhone users, tap the song titles to play the tunes. Everyone else, you should have a fancy-pants Flash player to play each song with.

Warm-Up: The Elite (from Split/Second)

The Split/Second soundtrack was a fixture on my playlists. For the first few weeks, my playlist consisted solely of the Split/Second soundtrack. Because it’s awesome. And free. But this song in particular was an excellent warm-up track because it builds up a bit at a time. There’s also a spooky bit in the middle with jangly guitars that is great when you’re going out at night-time. During this piece, I was doing my 5-minute walk as a warmup for the main event.

Get Ready: Operation Briefing (from Trauma Center: Second Opinion)

The sole reason this song is in there is so that the woman on the GetRunning app which gives verbal coaching for the C25K programme has something unnecessarily dramatic to talk over while she’s briefing you about how long you’ll be running for. Timing the start of playback perfectly will mean that you start running with the next piece, which is…

Go!: Friend (from Bayonetta)

If you’ve never played Bayonetta, know that it’s a study in glorious excess. SPOILER: There is a bit where you ride a motorbike up a rocket into space in order to go and rescue the titular Bayonetta, who has gotten herself trapped in the crystalline eye of God, who happens to be a large female statue that is more than a bit pissed off. This music is from that bit. And it’s awesome. It’s also perfect music to get you pumped up and moving. The tempo is a good pace for running to.

Jenova Returns (from Final Fantasy VII, OCRemix album)

And so begins a set of Final Fantasy VII pieces, or more specifically some awesome remixes by the immensely talented community at OCRemix. When this piece gets all dramatic in the middle, I was just hitting my stride tonight. Which was good.

Beginning of the End (from Final Fantasy VII, OCRemix album)

This is one of my favourite pieces from FFVII. The original version always used to get my pulse racing as the final battle with Sephiroth began. Used at this point in the playlist, I was just starting to feel the proverbial “burn” a bit, and the overdramatic nature of it helped push me through.

Black Wing Metamorphosis (from Final Fantasy VII, OCRemix album)

This is a great, creative remix of the song that everyone knows from FFVII—the final boss theme, One Winged Angel. Bad-ass choirs and screaming guitars? That sounds like motivation to me.

Final Battle: Opportunity (from Skies of Arcadia)

You may be spotting something of a pattern with these pieces. Since it was my last run, I figured I’d make it something of an “occasion” with some ridiculously overdramatic music. The Skies of Arcadia final boss theme is neat because it starts ominous, threatening and dramatic and turns triumphant and victorious by the end. In-game, these changes happened according to how well the battle was going, so you could tell aurally when you were winning. Knowing this sent me subconscious signals that I was on the home straight.

Possibly.

Panic Attack (by Dream Theater)

I loved this song ever since I first encountered it in Rock Band 2, where it gave my fingers something of a workout. And cramp. It’s also, like, deep and stuff, cause I can, like, totally relate to the lyrics and whatnot, yeah?

In an exercise sense, it’s fast, gets the adrenaline flowing and has the line “rapid heartbeat pounding in my chest” in the middle of it. So it’s, like, appropriate.

Of course, it also has the line “I am terrified, so afraid to die” in it. Which, depending on your fitness level, may also be appropriate.

Navras (from The Matrix Revolutions)

Ever since I first heard this piece, I thought it would be an awesome accompaniment to some sort of final battle. In fact, a variation on this piece called Neodämmerung is used in the final battle with Mr Smith in The Matrix Revolutions. This piece, to my mind, though, is superior and is only used in the end credits.

So why not have this piece as the grand finale to the nine-week push? Why not indeed. Conveniently, my 30 minutes were up just as it got to the slow bit in the middle, so I got to cool down to some trippy floaty ethnic-sounding warbling. Which was nice.

So, in summary, then? Keep your motivation up (possibly through the use of some banging tunes) and you can achieve whatever goal you want. I’ve achieved one, which is something of a relief after so many things that have gone wrong over the last couple of years.

Now, just another 50-something posts to go to achieve another goal…

#oneaday, Day 291: Final Lap

As the year starts to draw to a close—seriously, how the fuck did it get to be November already?—lots of “projects” or long-term goals are starting to eventually come together and come to fruition. Unfortunately, none of said long-term goals will result in financial gain for myself (unless you want to sponsor any of them, which you’re very welcome to do) but they will result in a sense of long-term satisfaction.

This blog thing, for example. It’s become part of my daily routine now. I love writing something every day. And it’s interesting to look back at how the year (a pretty shitty one, by all accounts) has gone, how it’s changed and, more to the point, how it’s changed me. I’m a different person to the one I was five months ago. I’m a different person again to the one I was eleven months ago. I’d like to think that these changes are mostly for the better, and there are a few people out there who can probably back me up on this one. That’s not a request for ego-massaging comments, incidentally, though those are, as ever, welcome.

And then there’s the running thing, too. Tonight I completed Week 6 of the 9-week Couch To 5K programme. Tonight’s run was 25 minutes of non-stop running, bookended by 5-minute walks for warm-up and cool-down purposes. And it was… I hesitate to say “easy”, but certainly well within my abilities. I feel like my speed is increasing, too, though my average speed readout from RunKeeper (awesome app, by the way, and free for iOS and Android)  seems fairly constant at just under 4mph. Not very fast, I know, but considering that nearly seven weeks ago I was struggling to run for a minute at a time, I think it’s pretty clear that I’ve made awesome progress. And I feel good about that and have absolutely no problem publicly displaying a bit of pride about it. So there.

I have blown the right headphone earbud on my iPhone though. Guess the thumping bass and drums of the Split/Second soundtrack finally proved too much for them. That or Apple make shitty headphones. Given that exactly the same also happened to the right earbud of the headphones on my old 20GB iPod, I’m inclined to think it’s the latter. Fuck you, Apple, and your shitty headphones. But not too much. I like the iPhone just fine, thanks.

So here are the “deadlines”, for want of a better word: By the 25th of November, I should be running for 30 minutes at a time comfortably, and presumably able to run the titular 5K in that time. And by the 19th of January 2011, I’ll have completed a year of continuous non-stop blogging. Will I have a decent job by then? Given that I have an exciting and mysterious job interview next Thursday, I might.

Will I be in a position to say “yes, this is where I want my life to be” by then? Possibly not. But things are definitely on that upwards slope. Time passes. Things happen. And when you look back, it’s difficult to imagine being where you are now, then. If that makes sense.

I know what I mean, even if you don’t.

#oneaday, Day 282: If You Hold Down The [CANCEL] Button To Run (Earlier Marked [X])

(Fifty Epic Win points if you know where the title of this post came from.)

Yes, it’s another running-related post, so soon after the last one… I know, I know. But I wanted to share this as it seems I was a little inaccurate with my description of the Couch 2 5K programme last time I talked about it.

I was surprised to discover as I fired up the GetRunning iPhone app today that Week 5 Day 2 is not, in fact, the same as Week 5 Day 1. I thought there was some mistake when I saw that I would be running for two lots of eight minutes today. But no, it turns out that it was, in fact, correct. And the fact that on Thursday I have to run for twenty minutes non-stop is also, in fact, correct. Scary.

To prevent staleness of posts, I now present to you tonight’s run in the form of the output from a text-based adventure/RPG game, circa 1987.

West Street

You’re standing outside your house. It’s pretty dark, and pretty cold.

The street runs to the northeast and southwest.

A voice from the iPhone in your pocket indicates that you should start walking in order to warm up.

>INVENTORY

You are carrying:
thermals
torch (off)
iPhone (on)

>TURN ON TORCH

The light of the torch illuminates the area around your feet, but little else. It should be enough to see where you’re going, at least.

>NE

You’re about to start walking when a chill blast of air hits you in the face.

You are afflicted with cold.
You take 5 damage from cold.

>EQUIP THERMALS

Thermals: equipped.

Cold resistance +50.

You are no longer afflicted with cold.

>NE

You set off at a brisk walk.

T-Junction

You have reached the point where three roads—West Street, Eltisley Road and Fox Street—meet.

Eltisley Road runs to the northeast. West Street runs to the southwest. Fox Street runs to the southeast.

>SE

You continue walking.

Fox Street

This street houses the one and only shop in the village, and also one of the few lamp-posts that illuminate the silent streets.

The road continues to the southeast. There is a T-junction to the northwest.

>SE

You continue walking.

Crossroads

You’re at the point where four streets meet. There’s a sign on a small mound showing the name of the village and arguably its most distinguishing feature, the ancient windmill.

Fox Street runs to the northwest. Caxton Road runs to the northeast. Middle Street runs to the southwest. East Street runs to the southeast.

You feel a bit warmer.

>NE

Caxton Road

This road is home to some new housing developments and as such has more streetlamps than the rest of the village combined. There’s a fishing pond by the side of the road which is somewhat difficult to see. You’re glad you brought a torch that actually works.

The road continues to the northeast. The crossroads is to the southwest.

A voice from the iPhone in your pocket indicates that you should start running now… for eight minutes. That sounds like an awful lot. You’d better be careful to pace yourself.

>NE

The disembodied voice told you you should run.

>NE

The disembodied voice told you you should run.

>RUN NE

You set off at a brisk run.

Industrial Estate

For such a tiny village, the industrial estate is surprisingly well-populated by a variety of businesses. They are all closed for the night now, but bright orange and white lights illuminate the courtyard of the estate.

Caxton Road runs northeast and southwest. The industrial estate itself continues to the southeast.

>NE

You continue running.

You lose 5 fatigue points.

Recreation Ground

There’s a large sports field here that, during the day, is typically home to team sports such as football. It’s also been known to play host to some pretty epic Blues and Soul music shows in a giant marquee in the past.

Caxton Road runs northeast and southwest. The football pitch is to the southeast.

>NE

You continue running.

You lose 5 fatigue points.

You are beginning to feel a little breathless.

Dark Road

It’s pretty dark down here. You can see a house by the side of the road, but it’s clear the occupants are either out or in bed as there’s no light emanating from it. The only light you can see is the fairly pathetic beam from your torch.

Caxton Road runs northeast and southwest. Another road branches off to the south.

>S

You continue running.

You lose 5 fatigue points.

You are tired.

Sand Road

It’s dark down here, and there are no distinguishing features save a smell of horse shit in the air.

Sand Road continues to the southwest, or Caxton Road lies to the north.

>SW

You continue running.

You lose 5 fatigue points.

You are knackered.

A voice from the iPhone in your pocket indicates that you can stop running and should walk for five minutes. You feel a sense of relief.

Sand Road, Civilised End

This end of Sand Road has a few houses and even a few streetlamps glowing with a bright orange light to illuminate your way. The smell of horse shit is fainter here.

Sand Road continues into darkness to the northeast. A brightly-lit crossroads lies to the southwest.

>SW

You walk, legs slightly wobbly.

You regain 5 fatigue points.

You are tired.

Brightly-Lit Crossroads

This crossroads is illuminated by a bright white streetlamp which gives the illusion of brilliant moonlight. Roads lead in four directions.

Mill Road drops down a hill to the southeast. East Street runs to the northwest. Sand Road leads northeast. Church Street bends off into darkness to the southwest.

>SW

You walk, legs slightly wobbly.

You regain 5 fatigue points.

You are no longer breathless.

A voice from the iPhone in your pocket indicates that you should start running.

>RUN SW

You set off at a run, your legs a bit stiffer than before.

Church Street

Church Street is not especially well-lit, but you can just make out the fact it bends around a sharp corner.

The road continues to the west. A gate leads into thick darkness to the south.

>S

You continue running.

You lose 5 fatigue points.

You are tired.

Churchyard

The churchyard by night is a place of solitude and quiet reflection. It’s also pitch dark, making it a bit creepy. Fortunately, your torch is holding out for the moment.

A path leads through the churchyard and down a hill into even thicker darkness to the south. Church Street is to the north. The church itself is to the southwest.

>S

You continue running.

Running downhill is easier.

You lose 2 fatigue points.

You are tired.

Inky Blackness

Beyond the churchyard, trees and bushes surround the path, cutting off all sources of light bar your torch. You can hear the sound of running water from somewhere.

By the light of your torch, you can see that the path leads up a shallow hill to the south. The churchyard lies up a steep hill to the north.

>S

You continue running.

Running uphill is hard. This hill is steeper than it looked a moment ago.

You lose 10 fatigue points.

You are knackered.

Horse Field

You’re on a narrow path that slopes gently upwards to the south and back down towards the churchyard to the north. A thin rope fence surrounds the path. In the darkness just beyond the fence, you can just make out a few horses grazing in the fields.

The path continues up a gentle slope to the south, or back downhill to the north.

>S

You continue running.

Running uphill is hard. This hill is steeper than it looked a moment ago.

You lose 10 fatigue points.

You are completely knackered.

A voice from the iPhone in your pocket indicates that you should stop running.

You’ve done it! That’s two eight-minute runs! Now all you have to do is walk home.

** YOUR ADVENTURE IS OVER **

Would you like to (R)estart, (L)oad a saved game or (Q)uit?

>Q

C:\>_

#oneaday, Day 280: Run, Jedi, Run

So I know you’re dying to know how my running is going. What’s that? You aren’t? Well tough luck, sonny, I’m going to tell you anyway.

For those of you joining me in this post… first of all, welcome HELLOTO YOUHUGSANDKISSES and secondly… I’ve been following the Couch 2 5K running programme for the last 5 weeks. This programme, originally recommended to me by the fine example of gentlemanhood that is Mr Calin Grajko, aims to get lazy bastards up and running a 5K in the space of nine weeks. It does this by doing a gradually-intensifying programme of walks and runs.

The programme starts with you running for 1 minute, then walking for 1.5 minutes, 8 times. The second week gets you running for 1.5 minutes, then walking for 2 minutes, 6 times. The third week has you alternating running 1.5 minutes and walking for 1.5 minutes, then running 3 minutes and walking 3 minutes, twice. The fourth week, which I’ve just completed, sees you alternating running 3 minutes and walking 1.5 minutes, then running 5 minutes and walking 2.5 minutes, twice. And this week, which I’ve just returned from the first run of, sees me running for 5 minutes and walking for 3 minutes, three times.

As you can see, the programme gradually increases in intensity a little bit at a time. It’s paced so well that if you stick with it, the actual relative difficulty of each week remains the same. So while you may be panting and wheezing after the first run of week 1, it’ll seem like a cakewalk by the time you’re running for 5 minute bursts in week 5. It’s excellent motivation because it lets you see exactly how much you’re improving. When I think back to the end of September, when I started, there’s no way I could have even contemplated running for 5 minutes at a time. Even the 1 minute runs of the first week were a daunting prospect. But now, a minute of running is child’s play.

This is partly due to improved stamina and partly due to you getting to know your body a bit better (in a non-masturbatory sense) and being aware of your limits. As you become aware of said limits, you learn to pace yourself effectively to be able to carry yourself through each zone of intense exercise.

And sure, I’m still slow as hell, but it doesn’t matter, because it’s giving me a workout and I can feel it having an effect. At the beginning of week 1, I was slow and incapable of running for more than a minute at a time. Now, at the beginning of week 5, I may still be slow, but I can keep it going for some time. Once the stamina is there, the speed can be worked on.

I have to say, the use of gadgetry to help with all this has been a key motivational factor. My iPhone comes with me on every run, along with the RunKeeper and Get Running apps. RunKeeper keeps track of your time, pace, distance and draws a handy map of your route. This will come in particularly handy once I’m trying to improve speed rather than stamina. In the meantime, it’s a means of drawing geographical penises across Google Maps.

Get Running is the key app, though, and I’ve mentioned it before on here, I know, but it’s worth talking about again. It’s a very simple app, being essentially a glorified stopwatch, but it’s put together so elegantly and produced so slickly that it’s an excellent aid to the inherent motivation of the Couch 2 5K programme. The recorded coaching is delivered with feeling and makes you feel like you have an actual trainer with you, encouraging you and spurring you on to the next milestone. It reminds you how far you’ve come since the beginning at the end of each session, tells you at just the right moment that you have “only a minute of running left” and so on. It’s a really excellent app and comes highly recommended to anyone interested in following the programme.

So that’s that. Exercise without an expensive gym membership to worry about. All it cost was the price of a simple iPhone app which, if you’ve got a stopwatch, you don’t even need. Plus it’s an excuse to get out and about and explore your area, which is a particularly pleasant thing to do out in the countryside.

So wish me luck in the next few weeks of the programme as I get ever-closer to the elusive 5K. It seems a long way off now but, given the progress I’ve made so far, it certainly seems to be within reach.

#oneaday, Day 268: Through the Night

I took my first steps into the night. Coming from the brightness I’d left behind me, the inky blackness looked impenetrable, a solid wall of darkness into which I’d vanish, never to be heard from ever again, were I to take one step further forward.

I took a step forward, and I did not vanish. The light was still behind me but my eyes were gradually adjusting, focusing, bringing that which was hidden into view again.

I took out the small torch and lit it, the small pool of light it cast spilling onto the floor, concentric circles of light and shadow. There’s always a way through even the blackest darkness if you have even just a little light.

I stepped forward again, and again, and began walking into the darkness. I didn’t know where my feet were taking me save into the black of the night. But I was moving forward, ever onward, like it was the thing to do. It was important. This was all that mattered right now. I walked, sweeping the dim light of the torch in front of me and watching ill-defined shapes pass as the light caught them and I walked past.

“Run,” whispered a voice in my ear, and I obeyed. I quickened my pace, still holding the torch, still sweeping it around, not knowing where I was headed or where I would end up. But I was running. The ground was hard under my feet, the regular thump-thump-thump of my steps mingling with the quickening of my heart in a chorus of drums that only I was witness to.

The darkness closed in around me, and the pool of light showed me that I was surrounded by shadows, but they did not feel threatening. Rather, they encased me, enclosed me, kept me safe. And still I ran, ever forward. The hard ground gave way beneath my feet to loose stones and finally soft mud. I felt the occasional splash of a puddle, but I was already past it, ever moving onwards. Still moving, still pushing forwards. But to where?

A scent filled my nostrils, a natural smell; the smell of the woods, of trees and leaves. It infused my being with a sense of peace. Out here there was nothing to fear, nothing to hide from, nothing to run from. But still I ran, with a sense of purpose that became ever more urgent.

In the distance, a pinpoint of light. As I drew closer, it flickered, its warm glow drawing my eyes away from the dark and towards what I now knew to be my destination. Closer still, and I could see the gentle flames; a source of comfort, warmth and safety, a place to rest a while.

As I entered the clearing I felt the warmth of the fire on my face and smelled the sweet smoke. And then she was there too, looking at me, smiling, those eyes gazing deep into my soul.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” she said, taking my hand.

#oneaday, Day 267: Go Outside!

It’s funny. I’ve never particularly thought of myself as an outdoorsman, despite growing up in the country and despite semi-regular trips from primary school and Cub Scouts (yeah, deal with it) to various campsites. This is largely to do with being a nerd, of course, because everyone knows that nerds, like vampires, tend to shun sunlight in favour of the glow of a TV or computer screen. Or sometimes candle-light and books. But books don’t glow. Unless they’re on an iPad.

Anyway,  the point I was getting at is that I appear to have spent most of the last couple of days outside. This is partly due to the Couch-to-5K running programme I’ve been following which, by its very nature, requires one to go outside to do said running. Today, though, I decided to just go out for a walk. Of course, I had the flimsy justification of putting various GPS trackers on to try and measure how far I went yesterday (3.75 miles, as it happens) but mostly it was a desire to actually go out again. The place I went yesterday—a nearby wood—is a place that’s nice and quiet and peaceful and has literally nothing surrounding it on Google Maps. Today, rather than running there (or run-walk-run-walk-ing there, to be more accurate) I just walked and took my time. I had some awesome tunes on for the duration and just enjoyed being out, feeling the breeze on me (until it got a bit cold later) and the feeling of being surrounded by nature. Evidently I have some sort of latent hippie/wood elf tendencies.

Of course, any kind of sudden change in one’s routine is normally down to external stimuli, and of course there’s one in this case. A few online chats with a very nice person (who may be reading this right now… hello! *waves*) inspired me to go out and spend some time in all this countryside I’m surrounded with. This countryside I grew up in, and pretty much took for granted, and then became a teenager and thought was boring. So I have. So, special person, thank you for being the one to give me a nudge in the correct direction. It just takes the right person to say the right thing and… well, you find yourself in the middle of the woods listening to Shpongle.

For those who are keeping up, this person is also the person who bullied me (not very hard) into picking up a copy of Firefly and then sat until the early hours with me yesterday watching it “with” me. Which was nice. But also made me forget to write my blog. Although that was mostly my own fault for not writing it earlier and then engaging in a conversation I knew would continue for quite a long time.

Anyway. Yes. Going outside is good. So do it. Especially if you’ve just finished watching that DVD box set or beaten that game you were playing. Don’t pick up another one (yet)—open that door and go and enjoy the lovely mild Autumn sunshine and the crispy brown leaves under your feet. Unless you live in the city, in which case you can go out and enjoy the howling Autumn Peugeot chavmobiles screaming past at all hours.

I have been outside most of today, so I now have no guilt at settling down under a warm duvet with a mug of hot chocolate and a Firefly box set. Can you say the same? Can you?

Oh, here’s some photos. These were taken using the iPhone 4’s fancy-pants HDR setting and haven’t had any processing done to them. Enjoy! I’m off to watch aforementioned Firefly.

#oneaday, Day 259: Home Again

I prepared the above comic in advance just in case I was too knackered to do a proper one upon returning from London. And I am pretty knackered. But I managed to get my ass outside and go running tonight. At 9pm. In the dark. In a country village. At least I remembered to take a torch with me this time; less stumbling wildly into darkness and a little more Alan Wake. Though with less of whatever that game has in it (because I still, to my shame, haven’t played it yet. I KNOW, I KNOW, all right?) and a little more… well, just running. And walking.

I’m following the Couch to 5K programme (again… I started once before) that was originally introduced to me by the fine gentleman that is Mr Calin Grajko. Given that I’m presently in the middle of nowhere (well… the nearest gym is seven miles away) running seems like a safe, easy option to get some exercise without needing any 1) expense and 2) travel. The thing with gyms is, they’re cool and all, but if you’re already feeling lethargic and not wanting to leave the house, then travelling somewhere that is going to cause you to be grunting, breathless and possibly in pain is likely not high on your agenda. Unless you have a favourite hooker at that classy brothel you like so much.

But with running, yes you still have to leave your house, but you don’t have to go anywhere to get started. The world is your gym. And rather than staring at your sweaty, gasping self for half an hour in those mirrors that gyms insist on putting absolutely bloody everywhere, you can take in the scenery. You can take different routes for variety and challenges. You can run in the dark. You can run in the middle of the day. In the cold. In the warm. In the wet. And you can use fancy-pants iPhone gadgetry to analyse your runs in a level of detail that you really don’t need to. Or, possibly, attempt to run a route which lets you draw a giant cock on Google Maps. (I haven’t done this. But having just thought of it, now I think I pretty much have to.)

So far I’ve completed Week 2, Day 1 of the programme. This meant that tonight was the first time I was running for a bit longer, but also walking for a bit longer too. The pattern for this week is run for 90 seconds, walk for 2 minutes, 6 times. Last week it was run for 60 seconds, walk for 90 seconds, 8 times. This week sounded like it should be easier. It isn’t! Although as I’ve found previously with exercising, it’s actually surprisingly quick to build up a little bit of stamina. I’m obviously not at the stage where I could even think about running a 5k without collapsing dead yet, but I’ve noticed a marginal difference between how easy it is to keep going since the first day I started.

Just gotta keep it up! Fortunately, there’s a good iPhone app to keep the motivation up. It’s called Get Running and it’s really very simple; it’s basically a glorified timer with vocal feedback telling you when to start and stop running, walking and so forth. It also tracks how far you are through the programme and suggests which day you should do next, as well as allowing you to tweet your progress. The nice thing about the vocal feedback is that it’s recorded by a real person, which makes it infinitely more motivational than some robot going “You have… RUN… One. point? SIX! Miles.”

Anyway. I have a bed to get to very shortly. And then lots and lots of things to write in this coming week. Adieu.