#oneaday Day 715: Try Again Tomorrow

Well, gym plans were stymied by feeling like I might throw up; likely a combination of tiredness, illness, inactivity, too much crap Christmas food and various worries weighing on my mind.

Ah well. There’s always tomorrow.

So it is, then, that I’m lying in bed at 9:15 in the evening, feeling a bit queasy and unsure as to whether the Lemsip I just had was a good idea or not. Too late now, anyway; time to just ride it out until I (hopefully) feel a bit better later. At least it means I didn’t have to put the groceries delivery away, not that I mind helping with that under normal circumstances.

I may have mentioned this on this page before, but I hate being ill. I try not to use it as an excuse not to do things but sometimes you just have to heed your body and go take a rest for a while. It’s frustrating when it’s difficult to tell what it might be that’s making you feel sick, though; was it something you ate? Something you did? Or just your body failing to obey Wheaton’s Law?

In this case, couldn’t tell ya. I know I’m anxious about a bunch of things including an upcoming job interview (not to mention the collapse of my precious regular employment) so that may well be the root cause of all this. Or it could just be that something I nommed on today was a bad idea.

Perhaps I’ll try and get some rest now, then, and I’ll either wake up refreshed tomorrow morning, or wake up at about 3AM, unable to get back to sleep. One or the other.

#oneaday Day 714: Run, Fat Boy, Run

It’s back to the gym tomorrow and, all being well, sticking to a relatively healthy eating plan. No, we’re not following a “diet” or anything, but we are going to cook a lot more rather than picking up convenience foods and nomming on whatever takes our fancy. It’s always good to kick off the new year with something like this, even if it doesn’t stick — the new year is, after all, a time for good intentions and all that jazz.

For me, it’s a topic that plays into one of my very many neuroses. I hate being fat, but unfortunately I enjoy the taste of food about as much as I hate being fat. I loathe my own body, but find myself eating things when I get depressed or upset or just for the hell of it at times — a habit which hasn’t exactly been helped by the enormous amounts of food we acquired over the Christmas break. If it’s there, it gets eaten, and it’s often hard to resist.

Why do I hate being fat? Fat people are supposed to be jolly, after all. Well, there are many reasons. First of all, I hate seeing myself in photographs and seeing that I’m bigger than I think I am. Given that I usually see myself from the inside out, it’s perhaps understandable that I have a slightly distorted view of my own body, but I still hate seeing myself in photographs. I hate seeing myself generally. I hate the way clothes hang on me, I hate it when clothes are too tight or I can’t fasten them up, and I hate it when I see photographs of myself from a few years back, when I thought I was fat, but was actually a fair bit slimmer than I am now.

I also hate people’s attitudes towards fatness. I follow a few people on Twitter who are otherwise lovely people, but have seriously discriminatory attitudes towards obesity. I’ve bitten my tongue a few times when reading what they had to say about fat people. I know they perhaps don’t mean it in the way I’m reading it — and since they haven’t met me face to face, they have no way of knowing what I really look like or how I feel about it — but it still stings a bit sometimes.

Along the same lines, I really hate it when random strangers feel the need to point out that I’m fat. This hasn’t happened for a while, but it really hurts when it does. The last time it happened, it was shortly after I’d split with my wife, and I was sitting in a park in Southampton by myself just trying to have a bit of peace and quiet. Some prick decided to start on me with his friends. It was all I could do to turn the other cheek and ignore him — something I’ve trained myself to do from a very early age, as I’ve always seemed to attract bullies. I take small comfort from the fact that I’m a better person than a dickhead who insults people he doesn’t know, but at least he wasn’t fat.

This may all sound like self-absorbed whining, and it may well be. The fact is, though, it’s not as if I haven’t tried to do anything about it. For a goodly proportion of last year, I was running, going to the gym, doing situps and pushups and all manner of other stuff. It had a small but relatively noticeable impact on my body, but I always seemed to “plateau” after a certain stage, and it gets a bit demoralising to continue on that path without seeing visible effects. I know it’s not just about the effects you can see but also those that you can feel, but it’s always far more satisfying to see a substantial dent in that belly than just to feel a bit better.

From this week onwards, then, I’m committing to a long-term plan — gym three times a week as a bare minimum, and running on the days when I don’t visit the gym as a filler activity. I’m going to put myself through the Couch to 5K programme again since it’s been a while since I did any endurance running, and I’ll certainly consider doing something like the BUPA 10K again. Andie will be joining me for the gym activities at the very least, and hopefully our making “proper” meals each day will help also.

Whether or not there will be any noticeable effects remains to be seen, but it’s better than doing nothing. Doing nothing just leads to a downwards (or, more accurately, outwards) spiral.

First day back at the gym tomorrow, then. If you want to follow what I get up to, then feel free to follow me on Fitocracy.

#oneaday Day 636: A Vote for Fitocracy is a Vote for… Wait, No

Andie and I joined the local gym yesterday, and had our induction sessions today. All is good and we’re feeling suitably motivated to proceed. This will likely mean leaving EA Sports Active 2 by the wayside — boo, no PSN trophies for me, but seriously, who gives a toss? — in favour of using actual proper exercise machines. And also not having to strap on those motion sensors which occasionally disconnect for no apparent reason.

Don’t get me wrong, EA Sports Active 2 is great, and it offered enough to get me motivated to start gymming it again, but there’s no substitute for the “real thing”.

The thing with being a member of the gym is, of course, maintaining your motivation factor. There are lots of ways you can do this — going along with a friend, keeping a log of your progress or, increasingly, using some form of website or app to both track your progress and brag about how awesome you are and how swell your guns are looking.

There are plenty of these available — Runkeeper Pro is my app of choice on my iPhone — but a lot of them are relatively simple affairs that just track what you’ve done without any particular form of motivation bar what you make up for yourself. Runkeeper does email you every time you break a personal record, but that’s about it.

Enter Fitocracy, an up-and-coming website that’s still in beta. Fitocracy takes the concept of fitness tracking and jams it firmly up the arse of social gaming. This means that every time you track some fitness, you get points. Points mean levels. Levels, as we’ve seen from fifteen billion social games that really don’t need a levelling system, are a powerful motivational tool — and, as each level gets progressively harder to achieve, they inspire you to push yourself a little bit further, whether that’s demonstrating your patience with clicking on a Facebook game, or feeling the burn a little bit more with your workouts.

There’s also a Quests function, which is an awesome idea. Take on a Quest and you’ll challenge yourself to do a specific exercise or combination, with points on offer as a reward upon completion. Obviously a large amount of this is down to your own honesty — but then so is fitness tracking itself, and the only person you’re cheating if you lie is yourself. Levels don’t get you anything per se, they simply provide a degree of motivation to the whole experience.

I will be trying out Fitocracy with some interest over the next few weeks — and possibly longer if it turns out to be awesome. It’s invite-only at the minute, but if you’d like to try it out for yourself, get in touch and I can hook you up with one of my remaining ones so you can check it out.

In the meantime, I have some grinding to do.

#oneaday Day 617: Phase 1 Complete

I’ve beaten Phase 1 of EA Sports Active 2 and while I may not be all buff and ting just yet, I like to think it’s helping. Of course, measuring actual results is more tricky, though a big part of the challenge in getting fitter is the psychological barrier of getting into it in the first place.

I could just step on the scales, but 1) we don’t have any and 2) I hate stepping on the scales as it’s embarrassing, even when no-one else is around. In my adult life I’ve never been a slight fellow (ironic, since I was skin and bones as a young kid) and it’s always been a bit of a hangup of mine — and all the more frustrating if the good habits you’ve made a specific effort to get yourself into (exercise, trying not to have KFC every lunchtime, that sort of thing) doesn’t appear to have an effect.

When I started doing the running a while back that, combined with some pressups and situps, had a noticeable impact on my body. I’m not sure if I actually lost weight or not (for the aforementioned reason) but my body certainly changed shape. I had a noticeable waist for the first time in ages, and while I still had a horrible big wobbly gut, down the sides it was more noticeable that some of the bulk had gone.

When I started working every day again, the timing meant it was more difficult to squeeze in exercise, so following my 10K run in London back in May (May? I think.) I kind of fell out of the habit, which is why I picked up EA Sports Active 2. I already had the first one on Wii, but I’d heard the second one was much better in terms of how the programme was designed as well as having motion sensors you couldn’t accidentally garotte yourself with, unlike the previous game’s Wii Remote and Nunchuk combo.

It’s challenging — and I’m working on the “Medium” intensity level at present — and there are some exercises which I dread coming up (particularly: foot fires, stride jumps and mountain climbers, aka to other fitness types, inexplicably, “burpees”) but doing the activities 4 days a week (sometimes more) is making me feel a bit better about taking positive steps to improve myself, or something. As I say, specific progress is somewhat difficult to measure when you don’t like stepping on the scales, but psychological progress is still progress, too — and while I still dread the loading screen for mountain climbers, I find I can get through a set of them without wanting to die quite as much as I used to.

Plus, of course, there’s trophies. While in a lot of contexts trophies and achievements bug me, here they’re used well to mark milestones in your training, as well as some “fun” ones marking good performance over the long term in some of the minigames. EA Sports Active 2 also really loves progress bars, and as any social game developer will tell you, progress bars are an excellent motivational system. As such, you have a progress bar for how far through the whole programme you are, a progress bar for an individual workout, progress bars for all the trophies, progress bars for your personal goals — it may sound silly but it’s one way of tracking progress that you can see — even if it’s mostly measuring dedication rather than improvement in your fitness.

From Thursday, I move on to Phase 2 of the 9 Week Program(me). I’m not sure what to expect. Phase 1 was pretty tough at times — I’m wondering what Phase 2 offers over and above this. Perhaps longer workouts? I hope it’s not longer sets. 55 mountain climbers in a row is enough to give me a headrush and make me want to lie on the floor for quite a while.

#oneaday Day 609: Five a Day

“Healthy eating” is often misinterpreted by many (including myself) to mean “eating things that taste like pieces of wood that you found on the forest floor”. And yet it doesn’t have to be that way, it seems. Sweet treats are all very well and good, but firstly, they get pretty dull after a while (once you’ve had one chocolate bar, there are very few variations on the theme besides what the crunchy bits are made out of/taste of) and secondly, of course, they’ll turn you into the sort of person who requires a crane to get them out of your house.

This is an exaggeration, of course. Unless you eat, like, nothing but chocolate bars all the time, in which case heart disease will probably take you long before any cranes have to be involved.

But anyway. Since starting my EA Sports Active 2 workouts (which I’m still keeping up with, FYI) I’ve been looking a little more carefully at the things I eat each day — largely because of the nagging woman who gently reminds you that you should be eating [x] number of fruit and veg portions per day, and [y] number of glasses of water. As a result of a little investigation and exploration, I’m doing quite well on [x] though [y] often still eludes me, because water is pretty boring.

It seems there’s quite a wide variety of things that actually taste reasonably nice while actually being healthy, too, particularly on the fruity side of things. There’s a snacky thing called “Fruit Flakes”, for example, which is basically a little bag of fruity sweets, only they’re actually made of fruit instead of E-numbers and enough sugar to send a hyperactive five year old to the moon without the aid of a rocket. Today, too, I tried some things called “YoYos” from a company called “Bear” — they’re basically fruit rollups, but all-natural and, bizarrely, made using sweet potato as well as the fruits in question. They don’t look quite as appealing as more sugary variations on the fruit rollup theme — they have the look and texture of fruit jerky — but they taste all right, and apparently each one is one of your Five a Day. I’ve had two today. Check me out.

Crisps are a thing that the reformed glutton often misses, as crisps are tasty. While they’re not quite the same thing, I’ve found Snack-a-Jacks to be a perfectly acceptable substitute. Some people aren’t a fan of rice cakes, believing them to actually be pieces of packing polystyrene rebranded as a lightweight snack, but the addition of a little flavour to the mix with Snack-a-Jacks makes them more than acceptable — and without having to cover them in cheese, jam and any combination thereof, either.

One thing that does irritate me a little about healthy eating, however, is advertising. I’m thinking particularly of the Special K adverts here. Now, as a breakfast cereal, I quite like Special K. It’s moderately tasty, supposedly good for you and doesn’t taste like lumps of chipboard. There’s also about a bajillion different varieties of it nowadays — some with fruit, some with other variations. It should be a cereal for which everyone can find an acceptable variation.

So why, then, is it marketed exclusively towards women? That’s not an exaggeration, either — there hasn’t been a man in a Special K advert for as long as I can remember, and it’s almost constantly marketed as the cereal that will make you look good in a one-piece swimsuit/figure-hugging red dress. I don’t particularly want to wear either of those things, and I have far too much penis to ever be called a woman, but I like Special K. Now, to be perfectly honest, I have absolutely no shame whatsoever in walking into a shop and purchasing a box of Special K, much as I would have absolutely no shame whatsoever in walking into a shop and purchasing sanitary towels for a female friend who needed them. But the fact I even have to make that comparison is at least a little objectionable — is the assumption that men are only interested in eating some sort of protein-packed Meat Flakes for breakfast and sprinkling them with bacon, while the women virtuously crunch on their Special K?

Who knows? Regardless, the main thrust of this self-indulgent ramble is that EA Sports Active 2 has, among other things, succeeded in getting me to be a bit more conscious of what I put in my mouth. This is, I believe, a good thing — and another check mark in favour of a fitness and health programme that I’m having increasing amounts of respect towards. We’ll see how I feel in 9 weeks time when the programme I’m following is supposedly set to finish!

#oneaday Day 598: Activity, Ho!

My copy of EA Sports Active 2 showed up today. I went for the PS3 version as it seemed the most practical option thanks to its wireless motion sensing armbands. I don’t have a Kinect and the Wii version sees you constantly getting tangled up in the Nunchuk cable, which isn’t ideal. The motion sensing on the Wii version is a bit dodgy at times, too. (It is a little on the PS3 version, as it happens, but that may just be my appalling posture.)

So, how was it? It’s good. While the graphics are functional at best even in glorious HD, the game, like its predecessor, puts up a good fight. By the end of your 30-ish minute workout you’ll likely be sweating. The addition of a heart rate monitor to the mix also lets you see how hard you’re working yourself, which is pretty neat.

There’s a good broad range of exercises on offer, too, and not all of them are straight muscle workouts. There’s a nice mix of simple motion games that require “proper” exercise moves to complete alongside more traditional stretches and resistance exercises. And the warmups and cooldown stretches are much better integrated than in the previous version — rather than simply doing low intensity versions of other exercises, there are now dedicated warmup and cooldown stretches to complete, which bookend your workout nicely.

The resistance band is, once again, rather flimsy and doesn’t offer very much resistance. With the wireless armbands, however, you’re free to use your own weights and can even tell the game what you’re using for it to more accurately calculate your calorie usage. This is neat — I may look into acquiring some weights for use alongside the programme, if only to avoid being constantly outwitted by that stupid elastic band.

After one workout, it seems good. There’s a nice range of “gamey” features to encourage motivation — there’s a “gauge” to fill each day, for example, encouraging you to complete exercises and the game’s surveys, and a wide range of trophies to unlock and publicly brag to your friends about.

There’s also some online functionality that I’d be keen to try out once we get Internetz here. I’m not sure what it offers but it appears there’s some sort of “group” system, presumably allowing friends to motivate each other. If anyone else out there has a copy and wants to group up once I get Internet next Tuesday, just let me know.

And so it’s time for a rest now. ‘Cause I’m bloody knackered.

#oneaday Day 596: Back in the Saddle

(As an aside, I heard the song “Back in the Saddle Again” the other day for the first time and I thought it was incredibly dull. This means nothing to the following blog post, I just thought I’d share it.)

In the next few days/weeks/months I will be resuming some sort of fitness plan. I went out and investigated local gyms the other day — there are two nearby, one of which has a slightly inferior gym but also has a swimming pool, jacuzzi and sauna, while the other has a much larger, superior gym and a significantly more “hardcore” attitude, from the looks of things.

Hopefully after payday Andie and I will be joining one of the two (likely the former, as we both like swimming) and torturing ourselves into something resembling shape. Or at least slightly more fit. We shall see.

In the meantime, I found a cheap copy of EA Sports Active 2 for PS3 on Amazon, so I snapped it up while I had the chance. The original for Wii was very good (though I must confess to never having finished the “30 day challenge” mode) but slightly marred by a resistance band which offered very little in the way of resistance and a leg strap which repeatedly fell off. Having a Nunchuk and Wii Remote wired around your hands while faffing around with the resistance band was a bit of a pain, too. The PS3 version comes with its own arm and leg bands that can’t get tangled up in anything — apparently the leg strap is still a little prone to slipping off but I can live with that — and also doesn’t require any additional hardware, unlike the Xbox version, which requires Kinect.

I enjoy exercising with games and have done ever since EyeToy Kinetic brought the idea to my attention. EyeToy Kinetic wasn’t perfect by any means — though this was more down to the limitations of EyeToy than anything else — but it was proof that video games can get you up off the couch and moving around. That’s not to say (as some people assume) that all games must get you up off the couch and moving around. But if a few can, that’s good for everyone, surely.

Wii Fit was similarly good, though disappointingly lacking in structure and challenge — before I came across the first EA Sports Active title I took to doing the 30 minute stepping programme with my own music on (a combination of Space Channel 5 and Persona if I remember correctly) in order to up the challenge factor a bit. The muscle exercises were good but without the game forcing you to do specific ones it was easy to fall into the habit of avoiding the “painful” ones and doing the “easy” ones all the time. EA Sports Active, on the other hand, puts together a programme for you each day and you follow it. Sure, you can build your own to avoid the difficult ones again, but since the structure is there in the first place you feel more inclined to follow it.

I’m looking forward to trying it, anyway. It should be here in the next couple of days, and then I can support any work I do at the gym with EA Sports Active days. If the pre-made programmes work anything like the original, there’ll be “rest” days which I fully intend on using the gym on so the two things will hopefully complement each other nicely.

We’ll see. Good intentions and all that.

#oneaday Day 520: The Top 5 Things I Wish You’d Stop Doing In Swimming Pools

I went swimming today having rediscovered it with Andie last weekend. I used to go a lot after work (that long-forgotten concept soon to be reawakened) alternating swim days with gym days, and while I didn’t get “good” as such, I certainly found myself able to swim surprising lengths without too much difficulty — or indeed speed, but that’s beside the point.

Today I managed 1km, which equates to 40 lengths of the pool I was in. I’d got up to being able to do 100 lengths at one point and to be fair, I could have kept going today were it not for the fact I needed to get home and Get Shit Done.

So, in honour of my swimming achievements I’d like to present the Top 5 Things I Wish You’d Stop Doing In Swimming Pools.

Putting on deodorant before getting in the pool

Seriously, Lynx-clad chav boy, who do you think you are impressing by making yourself smell like a gypsy’s jockstrap before jumping in the pool? You’ll only stink of chlorine in approximately 5 minutes anyway, so you might as well not bother, because swimming through the cloud of “aromatic” chemicals emanating from your person as they rinse off your hairless body under the water is anything but pleasant.

Finding your kids splashing people in the face amusing

Yes, a kid learning to swim is probably very exciting for a parent, but when some 6-year old git splashes me in the face obviously deliberately and you sit there laughing at him, that’s giving him positive reinforcement and unspoken permission to do it again. I would very much like it if he didn’t do it again, thanks, because it went up my nose and made me cough, and it also made me hate him, and you.

Prancing around naked in the changing room

Yes, I am aware that you need to get naked in order to get changed to go swimming. But do you have to be naked for quite so long and towel-dry your testicles quite so enthusiastically? And if your friend is with you, don’t you find it a little weird to stand there talking to him with your cock hanging out? If you weren’t in a swimming pool changing room you wouldn’t do it, would you? If you were both in your bedroom or living room it would be a bit weird, wouldn’t it? Unless, of course, there’s some sort of homoerotic tension between the two of you, in which case you should hurry up and consummate your love elsewhere and stop inflicting sexual tension on the rest of the pool’s visitors.

Getting pissy with people in the slow lane

I swim slowly, as do numerous other people. We don’t have a “super-slow” lane to downgrade ourselves to. You, however, have a “medium” lane which you can upgrade yourself to. Please use it. I bet you walk on the left on Underground escalators, too.

Being there

Frankly, I like the pool better when it’s just me (and maybe one companion) there. Kindly bugger off out of my way and, preferably, the pool so that I can enjoy the time in the pool I have paid for. Sure, you may have paid for it too, but I am grumpier than you. Go and see your naked friends in the changing room.

#oneaday Day 150: The Bupa 10K

So! I’m not dead. More to the point, I finished the whole Bupa 10K race today without even coming close to death, so I count that as a victory. I somehow even managed to cover 10K in less time than I have done in the past despite not running the whole thing. I attribute this mostly to the fact that London is quite flat, whereas the 10K distance I practiced on has a fucking great hill at roughly the 5K mark, exactly where you don’t want it.

But anyway. You’re doubtless wondering exactly how it all went, so let me talk you through my thought processes, starting from when the “Green wave” (the slow people) moved into position to start. These are the things I probably would have tweeted during the race were it possible to do so. (It probably was possible to do so, but I was concentrating on not dying.)

  • Hmm. That announcer is a bit annoying. I don’t really want to take part in any “oggy oggy oggy, oy oy oy”.
  • Still, at least he’s getting the crowd excited.
  • I wonder if all us slowpokes leave at the same time, or if we go a letter at a time. (I was a C-green, the slowest of the slow.)
  • We go a letter at a time. 11am prompt start my arse.
  • Still, I guess at least the people who can actually run with something resembling a “pace” left at 11am.
  • And there go the Bs. We’re next. I wonder where my friend Gracie is.
  • Shit, I’m not sure I can do this.
  • Bugger, too late to back out now, we’re going.
  • Hey, people are cheering. It’s like we’re famous.
  • Wow, I’m running faster than other people and I don’t feel like I’m overdoing it.
  • Double wow, I’m overtaking people.
  • What a glorious sunny day it is. Going to rain all over us, my arse.
  • The river Thames looks almost pleasant when it’s sunny. So long as you don’t look too closely at the water.
  • The Embankment is a good place to start. It’s nice and flat and straight.
  • 1km already? This is easy.
  • Some sort of drumming group under this bridge. I like it. Inspirational.
  • Could kind of do with a drink though. I drank a bottle of water before I started but my gob has gone all dry and horrible.
  • 1km-1.5km seems to be taking an awfully long time.
  • Really quite thirsty now.
  • Glad I went to the toilet before I started, because there’s a big queue for the ones at the “pit stop”. Still, just like Formula One, gives me the chance to get ahead of people. (Except in Formula One they don’t stop for the drivers to have a piss.)
  • Hm, the red runners are coming back the other way. Perhaps we turn around just up here.
  • The road is wet and there’s tons of bottles on the floor. Maybe there’s a water station ahead.
  • There is!
  • Glug.
  • More drummers!
  • A hill? They said it was flat. Time to slow down and drink this water.
  • It’s actually quite hot. So much for bad weather.
  • Top of the hill. Time to start running again.
  • I have started identifying people by the charities they’re representing, or, more specifically, the diseases or conditions their charities support. Just in front of me are the Cancer Sisters, just ahead of them is Heart Attack Girl and keeping pace with me is World Peace Girl.
  • That girl’s not seriously thinking about sneaking into that Tesco, is she?
  • No, she saw people looking at her and decided against it.
  • Steel band? Hmm. Not bad, but drummers are better. Steel bands bring back memories of schools.
  • Hmm, we really don’t turn around just yet. I wonder where we do.
  • These streets are quite twisty and have deceptive hills.
  • I’m keeping pace quite nicely with the Cancer Sisters.
  • More accurately, we keep “leapfrogging” each other. (Not literally.)
  • That dude in the lion outfit must be fucking boiling.
  • Getting a bit thirsty again.
  • And I wonder if I need the toilet.
  • I wonder where the next toilets are.
  • Hmm, what’s that ahead? The road’s all wet.
  • It’s a squirty-water machine! I should walk through it and cool off and be all refreshed.
  • Jesus Christ, that water is freezing. Maybe I’ll run through it instead.
  • Hmm, being squirted with freezing cold water has invigorated me somewhat.
  • Could still do with a drink though.
  • Reggae band! Awesome.
  • Oh hey, the nice people from the pub ahead have trays of plastic water glasses.
  • Glug.
  • I think we might have finally doubled back on ourselves.
  • Yes, there’s the Embankment. No-one still coming the other way. That really would be slow.
  • The Embankment is a lot longer than I remember.
  • There’s my charity people! There’s a lot less of them than for other charities, but they’re still clapping and cheering. Good on them.
  • The Embankment is still a lot longer than I remember.
  • Everyone around me is flagging a bit. Running a little while, then walking, then running, then walking.
  • I’m still not in last place.
  • 1 km to go. The park where we started is right there. Where does the extra kilometre come from?
  • Oh right, up a hill to Trafalgar Square. Cool.
  • I can see signs. “400m to go”. Yay! Time to run a bit faster.
  • Gasp. Maybe not time to run too much faster.
  • “200m to go”. Run faster? Hmm… maybe…
  • Fuck it. Let’s go. These people walking over the finish line are pansies.
  • “MAXIMUM SPEED.” Vrooom.
  • Over the finish line. People are taking photographs. I wish this running vest wasn’t quite so unflattering. Still, it’s kept me cool, and when you’re running something like this, appearances really aren’t important.
  • Wow, that last sprint knocked the wind out of me a bit, but I don’t want to collapse. Endorphin rush?
  • They’ve taken my magic timing tag off my shoelaces. Guess that really is it.
  • The baggage reclaim area is bloody miles away! Couldn’t they have put it a bit closer to the finish line?
  • You are redeemed, Bupa organisers, by giving me a goody bag halfway between the finish line and the baggage reclaim area.
  • Wow, I can barely feel my legs. I could have probably kept running for a while, but walking is proving somewhat difficult.
  • Creak.
  • Crick.
  • Those girls are giving out jelly babies! Hells yeah.
  • Omnomnomnom.

So that was it. I made it, I didn’t die, and in a time that I’m actually quite happy with: just under 90 minutes. I know that’s super-slow for actual runners, but I am super-slow. By contrast, one of the pros at the front finished in 27 minutes. 27 minutes! Christ.

But anyway, the experience was a good one. I’m glad I did it, and hopefully I’ll do some more in the not-too-distant future. In the meantime, I raised £210.01 for Mind, and the sponsorship page is still open. If you’re impressed with my achievements and would like to reward said achievement with a donation to Mind, then you can do so right here. Huge thanks to everyone who’s already donated, and to people who’ve offered support in the run-up (no pun intended) to today.

Now I think it’s time for sleep.

#oneaday Day 149: Tomorrow I May Be Dead

Ominous title, I know. But given that I’m running a 10K tomorrow, it’s entirely possible it might be true. Okay, it probably won’t be true. But it’s an eye-catching title if nothing else.

So yes. Let me start again. Tomorrow I am running the Bupa 10K in London in aid of Mind, a mental health charity that some friends and I decided to represent back towards the beginning of the year. So far I’ve raised £150.01 (thanks to Generous Sam for the extra penny) and hope that a few of you will be feeling generous in the next few hours. It’d be cool to get the total over £200 before I finish tomorrow. That’d be nice. If you’d like to sponsor me, go ahead.

I’m a little worried about the run itself, to be honest. Pacific time-friendly working hours have played havoc with the training regime I got myself into at the start of the year, and I haven’t had nearly as much practice of going the whole distance as I hoped I would have by now. Still, I have done it a few times, so I know that I’m capable of it. It’s just going to be a case of pacing myself and making sure that I keep pushing on regardless — the only difference will be the fact I have a magic chip on my shoe to reveal my embarrassing time to the world when I do eventually wheeze over the finish line.

But hey. If I do manage to complete it, that’ll be a pretty big accomplishment. A long run and a healthy amount of money raised for charity. Not bad at all for a Bank Holiday Monday’s work.

Beyond that, I couldn’t say what’s next. It would make sense to find something else to “aim” for, either personally, professionally, physically or all three. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it, though. For now, I just have to survive 10km of the London streets without collapsing and dying. Easier said than done, and if there’s no Day 150, you’ll know that I’ve bought it.

Positivity! Chances are, though, that I won’t be dead and tomorrow evening there will be a Day 150 explaining politely that I am absolutely knackered and hope I never have to go through anything like that ever again. Or perhaps I’ll be high on endorphins and writing complete nonsense. (No change there, then.)

Either way, I’m going to plug my sponsorship page again. If you have a few quid (or a lot of quid) to spare, then dig deep and chuck me and Mind some cash. Where? Right here.