I find myself in vaguely familiar surroundings, though I’m not quite sure of the best way to proceed. Fortunately, one of my companions steps up to the plate. She’s a young, pretty elf, and she packs a mean-looking minigun. I’m inclined to follow her suggestions.
“Put down a wall there,” she says, clearly indicating the place she’s referring to. I oblige, hastily battering together an impromptu blockade of wood, steel and spiky bits.
“Now one here,” she adds, nimbly leaping over to another pathway towards the crystal. “And one over the other side, too.” Her friend, clad in his robe and wizard hat, lollops over and drops a few mana crystals to help me pay for the defenses we’re setting up. I follow her instructions, and soon enough we’re ready.
“Chaaaaarge!”
We hear the cry from behind the door before they arrive. My mind wanders for a moment, thinking that it was awfully nice of the incoming hordes to wait until we were ready before attacking, but I am quickly snapped back to the present by the sight of what looks like a small army approaching.
I leap into action, swinging my sword wildly and knocking goblins left, right and centre. Green blood sprays from their lifeless corpses as they fall to the ground — they don’t even reach my blockades, so weak are they against my swordsmanship. I glance to the sides and see my compatriots covering the other doorways in their own distinctive, inimitable styles. Our erstwhile leader is mucking in with her minigun just as much as the rest of us, and before long the doors slam shut, the crystal safe for a little longer.
This time, we agree that I should put some harpoon launchers behind my blockades just to make doubly sure that none of the advancing hordes get anywhere near the crystal. They prove surprisingly effective, especially when combined with the magical structures that my robe-and-hat-clad companion also summons out of thin air. Before long, we’re taking another breather, but it’s clear that this time, things are a little different. There’s an air of tension about the group, as if it knows something terrible is about to happen.
The doors fly open again, and another swarm of enemies troops into the chamber. I wade in, cutting through them like butter, knocking them aside, into pools of lava and down seemingly bottomless pits. These dungeons are dangerous, and surely having pools of lava beneath your castle can’t be a great idea, I think.
Suddenly, the incoming enemies seem to stop, and there’s a noise.
Thud.
There it is again.
Thud.
And again.
Thud.
Louder, this time.
THUD.
Something big is coming. We look frantically around the room to prepare for whatever it is that’s headed our way, and our gaze falls upon the mysterious alchemical equipment left here long ago by our apprentice friend’s forebears. The pretty elf nods, and we steel ourselves just before a huge demon bursts through the ceiling, roaring in fury.
I charge straight at him but am immediately knocked back by a wave of fire. The pretty elf gestures to one of the pieces of equipment down the side of the room and charges towards one herself. Following her lead, I smash the device as hard as I can with my sword, and strange, crackling, blue energy emits from it. Our two other companions do the same, and before long there’s a whirling maelstrom of the crackling blue energy, converging on the demonic beast bearing down on the pretty elf.
It worked! He spasms and judders, unable to move. We immediately leap in and start attacking him — his thick skin is like stone, but from his howls of pain, it’s clear we’re hurting him. He breaks free of his energy prison and roars again, flames bursting forth from his body and knocking us back. He’s on the ropes, though, so if we can just do it again…
He falls, the impact of his massive body hitting the floor making the whole room shake. Gigantic, valuable-looking mana crystals burst forth from his corpse and we gather them up greedily — this stuff is better than gold coins. There’s an air of calm over the strange laboratory, and it’s clear that this area is safe, for now. But this is just one of many of the Eternia Crystals that we’ve been tasked with defending. Can we live up to the bold example set by our ancestors?
Only time will tell — but we’ll have a lot of fun doing it. So can you.
Discover more from I'm Not Doctor Who
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
