#oneaday Day 28: A Developer Has Responded

In theory, the opportunity for developers to respond to user reviews on storefronts such as Steam, Google Play and the like should be a good thing. It should provide the opportunity for the developer in question to open a dialogue with a customer — be they satisfied or dissatisfied — and help move things in a positive direction in one way or another.

How it actually works, meanwhile, is quite different. Because most developers, it seems, can’t be bothered to do anything other than a stock response to everyone, even when it’s woefully inappropriate to do so.

I’d like to share with you a review I wrote recently, in which I found a “teleprompter” app for Android (this one, if you’re curious, which was recommended by one of the bajillion SEO-baiting “best teleprompter apps for mobile” articles festering on the modern Web) but was dismayed to discover it was asking for an extortionate subscription fee rather than a flat price. I am pretty vehemently against subscription fees for simple, single-purpose apps, particularly when they don’t have an online component, and I made this clear in my review.

Not unreasonable, I don’t think. Now let’s look at the developer’s response:

Now this is an excellent developer response. “You think the monthly subscription is too expensive, so why not use the more expensive annual one” is a ballsy move, to be sure. “You don’t like monthly subscriptions, but it’s okay because you can cancel any time and lose access to the app you paid for” is also high up my list of “stupid things to say”.

More than that, it’s just plain bollocks. This comment is symptomatic of a widespread issue with all manner of software today, whether they be single-purpose mobile apps or more elaborate services. And that issue is that everyone seems to see a perpetual need to “introduce new features”.

I’ll remind you that when I came across this app I was looking for something that did one thing and one thing only: provide a “teleprompter” facility that I can use on my phone. To elaborate, that means provide the ability to display some text on the phone’s screen while the camera is recording, allowing me to make “eye contact” with the camera while reading from a script.

This app does that already. It does not need any new features. It is already fit for purpose, aside from the subscription fee. Therefore it does not need additional development or new features to be introduced. (Especially not a “Rewrite your script with AI!” feature, which it proudly boasts.) Perhaps a compatibility update every now and then to ensure it works with whatever current version of Android has been loaded onto my phone without telling me this week. But that does not warrant a fee of five quid a month or even twenty quid a year.

As I said, I would have quite happily paid a fiver up front for the app, and that’s being extraordinarily generous in the mobile space, given that most people don’t like paying more than 79p for anything.

The stock response from “Phil” about “introducing new features” and “continuing to improve the app” didn’t convince me in any way that the subscription fee was worth paying, and I suspect he knew that as he copy-pasted the words into the response box. So why did he bother posting it at all? Just so the fact he “responds to feedback”, even if it is with utterly stupid suggestions, is visible to anyone browsing the page and not looking too closely?

A few minutes later, I found another teleprompter app that does just charge once and then doesn’t bother you again. So I bought it without a moment’s hesitation. Don’t stand for exploitative, predatory subscription models, particularly on mobile where it’s extremely easy to forget about them. And support those folks who are actually providing a good, useful piece of software without trying to fleece you.

And Phil? Eat a thousand cocks.

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