The acronym “LOL”, originally short for “laughing out loud” has lost all meaning. This is entirely thanks to Internet denizens who believe it is an adequate substitute for any punctuation mark ever. It’s true. Try it sometime. Don’t forget to strip out all capital letters.
“Would you like to go to the shops?” becomes “would u like to go 2 the shops lol”
“I went to the shops to buy some butter, but they had run out.” becomes “I went 2 the shops 2 buy sum butter lol but they had run out lol”
“Now is the winter of our discontent / Made glorious summer by this sun of York; / all the clouds that lour’d upon our house / In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.” becomes “now is da winta of our discontent lol made golrius summer by dis sun of york lol all da clouds that lourd upon our house lol in da deep bosom of da ocean buried lol”
Ouch, that actually hurt.
Anyway, the fact is, “LOL” is meaningless. Coming up quickly behind it in the meaningless stakes are other acronyms such as “LMAO” and “PMSL”. So I feel, Internet, it is time to educate you in the ways of laughter which uses more characters but is infinitely more expressive. You’ll find there’s a laugh for every occasion.
“Hehe”
Mild amusement. This can be used for something that was only intended to be a little bit funny, or perhaps something that you didn’t find that funny yourself but don’t want to offend the other person by not laughing at it. It’s also less girly than some other alternatives. An optional trailing full stop may be added.
CORRECT USAGE: “I thought I’d forgotten my keys earlier. But they were in my pocket the whole time!” — “Hehe”
INCORRECT USAGE: “YARR HARR FIDDLEDEDEE, BEING A PIRATE IS ALL RIGHT TO BE! DO WHAT YOU WANT CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE, YOU ARE A PIRATE!” — “Hehe”
“Heehee”
Flirtatious laughter. Perhaps someone has said something a little bit contentious or naughty and you want to giggle with them. “Heehee” is the perfect laugh for this purpose.
CORRECT USAGE: “Well, we went back to her house and then, well, I’m sure you can imagine what happened…” — “Heehee”
INCORRECT USAGE: “Lindsay Lohan is like a child with ADD! Neither of them can finish a sentence!” — “Heehee”
“Teehee”
The naughty laugh. An upgrade from “heehee”, often used when slagging someone off behind their back, making illicit plans or making thinly-veiled references to something filthy the two of you—or indeed someone you mutually know—got up to recently.
CORRECT USAGE: “Well, last night certainly didn’t suck… but someone sure did.” — “Teehee”
INCORRECT USAGE: “The Master is rising! And soon the world will be ours!” — “Teehee”
“Haha(hahahahahahahahahahahahaha)”
The all-purpose “that’s funny” laugh. The minimum number of “ha”s is two, otherwise it’s a “Ha!” which is not a laugh at all, more a triumphant call of… something. The more “ha”s which are added to the end of the “haha”, the funnier the thing is. “Haha” is mildly funny. “Hahahahahahahahahaha” is extremely funny. Optional additions may include all-caps or exclamation marks. These are both intensifiers.
CORRECT USAGE (mildly funny thing): “Knock knock.” — “Who’s there?” — “Doctor.” — “Doctor who?” — “You just said it!” — “Haha”
CORRECT USAGE (exceedingly funny thing): “[insert most things that @DRUNKHULK says on Twitter]” — “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
INCORRECT USAGE: “Sir. The rebels have been crushed!” — “Haha”
“Mehehe(hehehehehe)”
The “mildly evil” laugh. Are you about to do something that’s wrong, and you just don’t care? Are you talking smack about someone? Have you made plans to do something which may cause mild embarrassment, discomfort or itching to a third party? Have you just witnessed something unfortunate occurring to someone you don’t like much? Then this is the laugh for you. The number of “hehe”s on the end may again be varied. All-caps and exclamation marks are not usually added to an instance of a “mehehehehe”.
CORRECT USAGE: “I’m going to invite them over, but then I won’t answer the door!” — “Mehehehehe”
INCORRECT USAGE: “A man walks into a bar and says ‘ouch!'” — “Mehehehehe”
“Mwahaha(hahahahaha)”
The “moderately evil” laugh. Are you about to do something very wrong? Or perhaps you’re joking about doing something wrong that you’d never actually do but think would be quite entertaining, if evil, if you did? Have you successfully got one up on someone you moderately-to-extremely dislike? Then this is the laugh for you, complete with variable-length “hahahaha” on the end. All-caps and exclamation marks may be adopted for this laugh if appropriate, depending on the evility of the situation. However, in extremely evil situations, consider upgrading to “Muhahahahahaha!”
CORRECT USAGE: “And then I told her ‘by the way, your skirt is TOTALLY tucked into your panties’. She looked mortified!” — “Mwahahahaha!”
INCORRECT USAGE: “Aww, look at that cute little kitten!” — “Mwahahaha!”
Not to be confused with “Mwah”, which is blowing a kiss.
“Muhahahahahahaha!”
The “very evil” laugh. You are an evil overlord, emperor or other figure who strikes fear into the hearts of your enemies. You are either about to do something terribly evil, have just done something terribly evil or take delight revelling in your evil-ness. Whatever the reason, this laugh is part of your arsenal of verbal weapons with which you may strike fear into the aforementioned hearts of your aforementioned enemies, along with sentences such as “I am afraid it is YOU who are mistaken” and “No, Mr Protagonist, I expect you to die”. All-caps and exclamation marks are frequently applied for intensification purposes.
CORRECT USAGE: “MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
INCORRECT USAGE: “Oh look, your baby cousin is smiling for the first time!” — “MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
DISCLAIMER: I am not aware of any legitimate historical evidence which quotes Hitler as saying “MUHAHAHAHAHA!” But I bet he did.
“Bahahahahaha!”
The belly laugh. This is a hearty chuckle at something you find genuinely amusing. The kind of laugh that Father Christmas or a Viking would use whilst sitting in front of a roaring log fire. Works well with a smoker’s cough.
CORRECT USAGE: “I want a bicycle like in E.T. so I can follow you through the skies, Santa!” — “Bahahahahaha!”
INCORRECT USAGE: “That duck just fell over.” — “Bahahahahaha!”
“Gahahahahahahaha!”
The Brian Blessed laugh. I don’t think anything else needs to be said about this one. Usually combined with all-caps and exclamation marks.
CORRECT USAGE: “CRY HAVOC! AND LET SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR! GAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
INCORRECT USAGE: “I posted a rude message on that forum.” — “GAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“Kyahahahahaha!”
The witch’s laugh. An evil cackle if ever there was one. Doesn’t really work when men do it. Even evil wizards don’t tend to go “kyahahahahaha”.
CORRECT USAGE: “And now, my pretties, into the pot you go! Kyahahahahaha!”
INCORRECT USAGE: “Do you remember that time my pants fell down?” — “Kyahahahahaha!”
So as you can see, there is a laugh for pretty much any situation. I trust this will be the last time I ever see you using acronyms to represent laughter and/or punctuation.
Please feel free to share any additional variants you may be aware of in the comments.
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I lol’d.
Mwahaha!
I’m sorry no one says that any more. We now say I was lolin’ to indicate amusement, although it’s largely sarcastic.
I believe my feelings on this topic are well documented.
The frog is back! Also, my mum uses lol to mean Lots Of Love. Much confusion when she texts me.
The frog! I haven’t drawn him for years. He’s still pissed about something.
Just realised I seem to have presented myself as a bit of a playa in the first three images.
If only.
Yes, and with three different girls. Some would use the term ‘hussy’.
I’m glad it’s not just me that hates the use of lol in its new (current) form. I found your further examples very informative.
You missed one off though, Pete. The classic Simpsons “Ha Ha!” as done by Nelson in almost any situation. While it looks similar to “Haha”, the separation and added capital H is very important for pronunciation.
Never mind though, playa!