I fucking hate emoji. And I judge you negatively if you use them. I can’t control it. I hate the fucking things. And I firmly believe that using them, particularly to excess, makes you look like an absolute idiot.
I say this as someone who frequently still uses the “:)” emoticon from the early days of the Internet, though only in instant messages. I don’t use any others except very occasionally a “:(” if something bad has happened, but I tend to feel like using something as flippant as an emoticon somewhat detracts from the perceived gravity of the situation under discussion, so there are times when I refuse to use them altogether.
Emoji, though, are the scourge of modern communication. Particularly any variation of the “laughing” emoji.
I’m talking about these cunts -> 😂🤣
Because inevitably they are used excessively, and usually in a context where they are mocking or patronising someone rather than expressing genuine amusement. I’m particularly not-fond of them on Facebook posts that use that annoying “auto e-card” setting or whatever it is where an unfunny joke by an annoying person is absolutely fucking surrounded by them. You know, like this.
I judge people who use that particular setting on Facebook even more negatively than people who just use emojis.
I think my absolute least favourite use of emoji, though, is when someone insists on punctuating every few words of a sentence with them, as if we’re all too stupid to read the big scary words and need little pictures to go along with them in order to understand what’s going on.
I had a book called Bunny Rabbit Rebus when I was a kid, and I found it kind of interesting, but also kind of annoying. For the unfamiliar, a rebus is when you represent a word (or part of a word) using pictures or symbols, and Bunny Rabbit Rebus used them for significant portions of its text. It was mildly amusing to the childish me at first, but by the time I’d figured out that a capital letter “E” coloured red meant “Ready” (Red E, geddit) I was already starting to think that this book thought it was much more clever than it actually was. And I was, like, five years old at the time.
Whenever I read a post from someone who insists on writing things like “Feeling 🙏 blessed because of my 👪 family 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣” I just think of Bunny Rabbit Rebus, and immediately assume that whoever typed that shit has reverted to being a not-particularly-intelligent five year old.
I think part of this stems from how I’ve always been a very competent reader, and these stupid little icons break up text and actively make it harder to read, particularly when they’re jammed in the middle of a sentence. I also kind of resent the use of them to tell me how I’m supposed to be feeling when I read the thing — or, indeed, in the most common use of the “laughing” emojis, that I’m being patronised by someone who, for whatever reason, disagrees with me and thinks that is worthy of “rolling on the floor laughing”. Because polite disagreement is not a thing we do online any more.
Anyway, the long and short of this is that if you use emoji excessively, I will judge you. And I will laugh at you. And I don’t need 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 to do it.
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
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