2457: Time Away

Andie and I have spent a couple of days in Bournemouth, not for any particular reason, just to “get away” from it all. I won’t speak for Andie, but certainly in my case, it was much needed.

I’ve been wracked with stress and anxiety of months now, largely due to relentless feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness and uselessness due to the seemingly never-ending job hunt. I’ve described these feelings before, but they bear repeating: I know I have so much to offer the world, and it’s inordinately frustrating that it seems nigh impossible to convince the people who hold the pursestrings of that fact.

All that said, just before we left on Monday morning, I was contacted by a recruitment consultant for a job that I feel I can do, and I also put in an application for another job that I felt quite confident about. I’m not going to get my hopes up too much for either of them, but, well, they’re something at least, which is in stark contrast to the fat lot of nothing I’ve heard from a variety of employers for the last few months.

The time away has been nice, though it’s made me realise quite how much I carry stress in my body as well as my mind. Today in particular, I’ve just been absolutely exhausted, and all I’ve wanted to do is sleep. Quite a lot of today has been taken up with napping, to be perfectly honest, but it’s been nice; Andie could evidently do with a break, too, so it’s been thoroughly pleasant to be somewhere that we can just rest without having to worry about anything that we were supposed to be doing. Our only commitments each day have been getting up in time for breakfast, and getting somewhere in time for dinner service.

The hotel we’re staying at is really nice. It’s got a very 1950s Art Deco feel about it — including the stereotypical Art Deco font — but it doesn’t feel “old” at all. It’s in good condition and clearly very modern, but the overall aesthetic of it is clearly inspired by Art Deco.

There’s a poncey restaurant here, too; on our first day, we were fortunate enough to win a £25 voucher for it, so we had dinner there last night. The restaurant, I feel, struck a good balance between the “modern cooking” that I find so unsatisfying and providing actually flavoursome, generous portions of good food. I had some scallops for a starter, an excellent burger for a main and possibly the best trifle I’ve ever had, ever for dessert. (The custard clearly had cream in it, there was a big dollop of clotted cream on top and there were plenty of strawberries throughout.)

Tonight, meanwhile, we went to the hotel next door for dinner; as well as a fancy restaurant, they have a pub, so we enjoyed some hearty traditional British pub food. Even that was really good, though; I had a macaroni cheese that clearly had actual proper cheese in it rather than being a microwave jobby.

Back home tomorrow, and while I’m not sure I’d say I’m revitalised and refreshed — I still feel pretty tired — I do feel a little more inclined to face the challenges ahead. One day at a time, I guess.