1289: Oh When The… You Know

I’ve been playing a game for review this evening, but I can’t talk about it yet because blah blah embargo, etc. So instead I’m going to talk about Saints Row The Third, which, conveniently, is available for whatever price you please as part of the latest (pretty incredible) Humble Bundle.

Grand Theft Auto has been losing me for a while. It took me a long time to get around to finishing Vice City — though I eventually did — and I never finished San Andreas or Grand Theft Auto IV at all. (I also own the two Grand Theft Auto IV side stories, but haven’t touched them at all.)

The problem is that Grand Theft Auto had started taking itself a bit seriously. While it’s still full of cringeworthy puns and scathing putdowns of American culture, the stories themselves have been getting a bit too “gangsta drama” for me; there seemed to be less of the colourful characters from earlier installments and more in the way of people calling each other “bitch” and “motherfucker”. (Confession: I actually had to turn the subtitles on in San Andreas not because I couldn’t hear the speech, but because I couldn’t understand what the characters were saying.) This is probably a grossly unfair assessment, but I’ve been struggling to maintain interest in them for quite some time, and Grand Theft Auto V doesn’t really have me hyped at all. (This makes the fact the Internet collectively jizzes its pants every time a new screenshot appears especially frustrating, as I’m sure you can sympathise.)

I’m not sure what prompted me to pick up Saints Row The Third for PC. I don’t even think it was a Steam sale — I’m pretty sure I bought it at full price shortly after it came out. Reviews I’d read had been mostly positive, with a few criticising it for not having as interesting a setting as Grand Theft Auto, but most had mentioned one important thing: fun.

I’d never played a previous Saints Row game, so I had no frame of reference to compare The Third to except for Grand Theft Auto. And it quickly became apparent that Saints Row The Third was the game I’d been wanting Grand Theft Auto to turn back into ever since Vice City. Freedom to run around causing chaos; lots of side missions to do; a plot that was enjoyable, silly nonsense; and the fact that if you wanted to run down the street punching everyone in the face, it didn’t really feel “out of character” for the protagonist.

Saints Row The Third is a playground. Sure, there’s a plot to follow, but the main attraction is the “activities” scattered around the map. These vary from destroying as much shit as possible while on foot and equipped with infinite ammo to destroying as much shit as possible while in a bloody great tank. There are also missions where you have to drive around with a tiger in your car, arena challenges where you have to defeat enemies and avoid traps, and “insurance fraud” missions where you have to fling yourself into traffic and injure yourself as much as possible against the clock.

By far my fondest memory of Saints Row The Third is the one and only time I’ve had the chance to play multiplayer with my good friend Mr Alex Connolly, though. We just so happened to actually be online and available at the same time for once, so we jumped into a game together and caused chaos. There’s really nothing quite like rolling up to a character you know is another real person, letting them jump in your Tron-style car and then tearing around the city to cause some havoc. Saints Row The Third doesn’t significantly change its structure when played in co-op, but the simple presence of another player helps make it even more fun than it already is.

If you’ve never played Saints Row The Third and like the sound of a chaotic romp through something like Grand Theft Auto used to be, that Humble Bundle I linked above is a fantastic deal. Or, let’s not forget, the fourth entry in the series is coming soon. But that… that I can’t talk about right now.