#oneaday Day 65: Character Sheet

RPGs, as everyone knows, are nonsense. No amount of battering your way through the world’s wildlife with a stick repeatedly makes you powerful enough to take down, say, a helicopter with your bare hands. But that’s not to say that we don’t have our own special skills and abilities of our own. So here, in the style of Final Fantasy XIII thanks to the many and varied roles I have taken on over the years, is my official Character Sheet. (Bonus points if you can figure out how I calculated my EXP, amount of EXP to next level, HP and MP, because yes, I am nerdy enough to work out a system to do just that.)

Pete
Hume M
Level 29

HP: 1557/1557
MP: 5/358

EXP: 261696
NEXT: 1320

Role: WRITER (WRI), Lv. 25
Bonus: Adds to party’s Grammatical Error detection radius.

Abilities
Literate: Read and write.
Literata: Read and write well.
Literataga: Read and write well enough to do professionally.
Literataja: Read and write super-fast to borderline-inhuman deadlines.
Barego: Protect against bruised ego.
Bolster: Restore morale.
Enhumor: Add Comedy element to attacks, cancel Sadness status.
Eninform: Add Knowledge element to attacks, cancel Ignorance status.
Yankbrit: Toggle stance between British and American English.

Role: TEACHER (TCH), Lv. 3
Bonus: Double EXP acquisition for other party members.

Abilities
Teach: Able to explain general things in some detail.
Teacha: Able to explain complicated concepts to inexperienced types.
Teachaga: Able to explain complicated concepts without getting frustrated.
Teachaja: Able to adapt explanations on the fly while teaching several targets.
War Cry: Inflict Silence on all targets temporarily.
Bolster: Restore morale.
Eninform: Add Knowledge element to attacks, cancel Ignorance status.
Patience: Cancel Berserk status on self. Usable once per day.

Role: BARD (BRD), Lv. 25
Bonus: Increased success rate of party buffs.

Abilities
Piano: Equip Piano-class equipment.
Clarinet: Equip Clarinet-class equipment.
Saxophone: Equip Saxophone-class equipment.
Bellowing Honk: (Requires Saxophone) Knockback and Stun all targets.
Piercing Screech: (Requires Clarinet) Silence and Slow all targets.
Shine on Me: Buff the party with Barbershop Power.
Pinkapingpangpong: Confuse all targets.
Rachmaninoff’s Fury: Inflict punch damage over a slightly wider-than-usual radius.
Perform: 50/50 chance to Impress or Depress friendly target.
Accompany: Double attack power of any Soloist in the party.
Accompanya: Triple attack power of any Soloist in the party.
Accompanyaga: Max out Soloists’ attack power and add your own.

Role: NERD (NRD), Lv. 25
Bonus: Bolster party’s performance in video game-related quizzes.

Abilities
Score Attack: Spend an entire ATB bar increasing your score on Geometry Wars.
Recognition: Increased chance to recognise obscure music from Japanese games.
Unfazed: Impossible for bizarre/impossible events to inflict Confusion status.
Desensitised: Think of the children!
Persistence: Extra chance at all failable actions, chance of Boredom status increases.
Fix: Restore HP to Mechanical or Electrical targets.
Break: Damage Mechanical or Electrical targets with increased efficiency.
Google: Impossible to be inflicted with Ignorance status if in an area with Wi-Fi.
Maru: Summon cat videos.
Marua: Summon a cat video appropriate to the occasion.
Maruga: Summon the perfect cat video for the occasion to escape from danger.

Role: RETAIL MONKEY (RMK), Lv. 2
Bonus: Double Gil from sold items.

Abilities
Sell: Sell items.
Sella: Sell junk items.
Sellaga: Sell junk and regular items for increased profit.
eBay: Sell items to people in other zones.
eBaya: Sell junk items to people in other zones.
eBayaga: Sell junk and regular items to people in other zones for increased profit.
Packin’: Equip Packing Tape Dispenser-class equipment.
Cable Management: Remove Tangled status from Mechanical or Electrical targets.

Role: EMPATH (EMP), Lv. 10
Bonus: Decreased chance for friendly party members to suffer Debuffs.

Abilities
Listen: Listen.
Listena: Listen without judging.
Listenaga: Listen without judging or offering stupid advice.
Empathy: Transfer all negative status effects from friendly target to self.
Empatha: Remove one negative status effect that both you and target are suffering.
Empathaga: Remove all negative status effects from target, inflict Confusion on self.
Bolster: Restore morale.

Did I miss anything? Obviously I’m leaving my Limit Breaks a secret as I don’t want to play my hand too early.