Ever wondered what it’d be like to be someone you’re not? To be able to seamlessly switch yourself from being “you” to being a different persona, depending on the situation?
I’ve been reading The Game by Neil Strauss. For the uninitiated, it’s an incredibly detailed exposé of the world of pickup artists. There are those out there who live by the tenets of this group. And others who believe that Strauss’ story is so much bullshit. But I find the very concept of it interesting, not least for the fact it’s something I don’t think I could do.
The pickup artists (or PUAs, as they call themselves) go into a situation armed with a variety of “openers”, manipulate the conversations using a combination of “negs” (deliberately negative comments), hypnosis, neurolinguistic programming and all manner of other techniques. And, if Strauss is to be believed, many of them enjoy not inconsiderable degrees of success—regardless of the sort of person they “really” are, and regardless of their physical attractiveness.
When I go out, I’m me. I can’t be anyone else. I can’t imagine sidling up to a group of complete strangers at a bar, opening with something like “well, this looks like where the party’s at” and then surreptitiously attempting to manipulate the group and an individual in that group into doing my bidding. I find the concept of it pretty fascinating, though; particularly as I know at least one person who is adept at “playing the game”.
Sometimes I wonder if social situations might be easier if I was able to project a different persona. Those of you who know me know my personality pretty well. But I often feel when I go out into a situation where I’m surrounded by unfamiliar people, or where I’m worried I might make a tit of myself, that I withdraw somewhat. I’ll talk to people if they talk to me, but I often find myself sitting there thinking just that; “I’ll just wait here and if someone wants to talk to me, I’ll let them, but I’m not going to chase down anyone.”
This is social anxiety at work. In some ways, I think that it’s part of me and I’m glad I’m not being a player, hitting on every girl who comes into the bar. But in other ways, I sometimes wish that I could just open up a little bit more and strike up a conversation with a stranger. And by that I mean be the one to initiate the conversation, not wait for someone to come and talk to me or be introduced to me.
I wish that there was an easy way to practice this. But unfortunately, the only way to practice it is to do it. And in nearly thirty years of time on this planet, I still haven’t really got the hang of it.
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