Avatar Integration and Feeling the Burn

In my last post, I discussed the virtual world of Second Life. This is something that, as you probably noticed, is of particular interest to me – and I’m not the only one. Jenn Frank posted entries about the issue of avatars and personal identity at some length here and here – two articles on which I also commented at some length – and this led onto an interesting discussion of whether avatars were a reflection of your real-life personality or a fantastical creation from the depths of your own mind.

There are no particular conclusions to draw on this issue, as everyone’s different. Just because someone enjoys being tied up and sodomized in Second Life (not me, I might add) doesn’t necessarily mean that they will in real life. Just because a guy plays a woman (also not me, though I have been known on more than one occasion to play female characters in games), it doesn’t mean that they want a sex change. An avatar doesn’t have to look anything like the real-life human behind the controls, but sometimes it does.

My avatar, until recently, looked like me, sort of, a bit. A slightly-idealised version of me, if you will, if I were slightly cooler, less fat and able to pull off black leather jackets and red hair. This all changed the other night, however, when a friend that I had previously only had passing contact with on photo exchange site Flickr decided that tonight would be the night we would meet in-world. Said friend is an active Second Life photographer, fond of, as I am, grabbing groups of good-looking avatars, snapping some pictures of them and then Photoshopping the hell out of them in order to produce some pretty pics. I have something of a liking for this process myself, so here’s a picture of aforementioned friend following aforementioned Photoshop mangling:

Morgana (Incidentally, if nothing else, working on SL pics is a fantastic way to get to grips with Photoshop – I’ve learned far more about graphic design and image manipulation through playing with SL pics than by working on actual photos.)

But anyway: the point. Part of SL’s appeal is that you can change your appearance, shape and even gender on a whim. I hadn’t done this until now, as I felt something of a personal attachment to my avatar, as you tend to do anything that you “own” and “use” for a long time, or characters in a lengthy RPG *cough*Persona*cough*. Besides, I felt that my avatar was an expression of me – me putting myself “out there” as me. So it was with some trepidation that when Morgana and her friend asked me if they could try out a new skin and shape on me I accepted – I was stepping out of my comfort zone.

The new shape and skin were very different from what I had played before. I felt uncomfortable. It wasn’t me. But then the compliments started rolling in. Suddenly I was hot. As shallow as it sounds, a simple change in appearance – an easy matter in SL – was enough to bring these compliments and by extension, give me a huge amount of confidence. Over the subsequent few days, I have grown accustomed to my new avatar – so much so that I feel I am now unlikely to return to my old one, at least for now.

But something else happened in me, too. I looked at my new, buff, muscular self with cool hair staring back at me from the screen and I thought… “I wish I could be like that.” The next day I signed up to our local gym and swimming pool complex, and I’m now following a regular exercise programme. It’s funny the things that affect you personally and give you inspiration – I never thought the whole avatar thing would work in reverse, with it giving me a desire to do something positive about my real life appearance. And while it’s unlikely I’m ever going to look quite like my improbably-shouldered alter-ego, it was very much the “trigger” to set me off on this process. It’s an interesting inverse of the usual “avatar reflecting aspects of reality” thing that I hadn’t thought of previously.

I discussed this with some friends recently, and they each admitted that they had had similarly peculiar experiences where something “uninspirational” had, ironically, provided them with the inspiration to make a change in their lives. Each of these things carried a certain degree of personal shame to them, too, so I won’t embarrass those friends by sharing them with you now. Suffice it to say that I was faintly embarrassed to say that it was SL that inspired me to kick off this workout programme, until I realised that it really doesn’t matter what it is that inspires you, so long as it inspires you. And this is why I’m sharing this story with you now.

The Battle If you’re the slightest bit curious about following said workout programme and my feelings towards it, you can follow my progress on Tumblr here.

On Virtual Worlds

I haven’t really blogged about this much on this particular site, but I figured it’s time to sit down and talk about it as it’s something that I’ve found consistently interesting for quite a few years now.

The subject is virtual worlds – online spaces where tens, hundreds, thousands of people can log in and join a virtual community for one reason or another… it may be purely to socialise, it may be to battle monsters, it may be to have fun, it may even be to have sex. And I’m not talking about community or social networking websites here, as those are a different beast entirely. No, I’m talking about actual virtual worlds, where you can wander around as an avatar, explore the world, meet other people and interact with them in any of the ways described above.

There’s literally hundreds of virtual worlds available for people to use nowadays, of many types – some are more “gamey“, others are more “social“, others still are focused on the less salubrious side of online interactions. Today I want to focus particularly on the virtual world of Second Life and its appeal to me, despite its many, many flaws.

I remember first hearing about Second Life while I was big into The Sims. My whole flat at university became obsessed with The Sims shortly after I built our first house, made virtual representations of all six of us in the flat, then realised that we didn’t have enough money to buy beds to begin with, so the whole “family” slept in recliners. Over the years – yes, I was that guy – I bought most of the expansions and later moved on to The Sims 2.

I was, like many other fans of the series, extremely excited at the prospect of The Sims Online, offering the opportunity to have the same kind of fun, but with other people involved. It never made it over here to the UK – at least, not in any prominent way – so I never got the opportunity to try it. I forget exactly how I came across Second Life as a result of this, but it was something I stumbled across without hearing anything about it beforehand, and I thought that the concept sounded rather like The Sims Online, with players being able to design their own virtual person and “live” in a virtual world. As it happens, it has very little to do with The Sims Online, but I wasn’t to know that at the time.

For the uninitiated, Second Life is an ambitious virtual world project by Linden Lab, offering “players” (and I use the term loosely, as it’s really not a “game” as such… unless you choose to make it as such, which we’ll discuss later) the opportunity to enter a world that is almost entirely user-generated. Buildings, textures, landmasses, interface features, animations, body parts, clothing – everything is created by the residents of the virtual world, and this is the thing that initially fascinated me. I couldn’t comprehend the idea of being able to log into something where the content was so fluid, where there wasn’t a static virtual world that was always the same every time you logged in, with monsters in the same place, prime “camping spots” and so on. So I signed up and signed in, not really knowing what to expect.

Second Life is a peculiar experience the first time you log in, especially if you’re more used to aforementioned online games with static content, such as World of Warcraft. You quickly become used to the concept of “rezzing”, which is the process whereby you enter a new location and you can see things downloading and appearing around you. This is disconcerting the first time it happens (and more than a little irritating if you find yourself stuck against a wall which hasn’t appeared yet) but, like many things in the world, you become used to it the more it happens. Similarly, you become used to the fact that other residents’ avatars also go through this rezzing process in front of you, so it’s entirely possible that someone could appear in front of you with no hair and no face until the textures and shapes have downloaded. Rezzing accidents are the subject of many a good laugh amongst SL residents, but they are accepted as part and parcel of life in the virtual world. People more used to traditional MMOs will likely find it a complete turn-off though – at least until they accustom themselves to it.

Upon arrival in SL, the question on many residents’ lips is “what on earth am I supposed to be doing?” And the answer is not simple. Explore, interact, build things, take photographs, join groups, play games, look at art, shop, fuck, roleplay, pretend to be a vampire… the list goes on for a mile, and all of these interactions are built using the basic engine of the Linden Lab-developed software, with extensions built, designed and scripted by residents of the world, just like everything else. People make in-world money either by paying out of their own pocket to buy “currency” – or by working a job, just like real life (albeit with MUCH better hours). It’s always interesting to hear how seriously people take their SL jobs, whether they’re a DJ in a club streaming their music through something like ShoutCast, a live musician, a virtual performer, a dancer, a greeter, a builder, an estate agent, a facility manger, a prostitute, a Game Master for roleplaying areas – again, the list of things goes on, and people have the opportunity to completely subsidise their virtual existence through virtual hard graft if they so desire.

Another thing that is almost immediately noticeable about SL is the sheer diversity of the avatars present. And we’re not talking a set choice of races here, with arbitrary “body size” sliders. We’re talking complete customisation. We’re talking this situation here:

This wasn’t anything particularly special happening – it was a discussion group where we sat down and had a civilised chat about a set topic. Like a real-world discussion group in fact.

And that’s the thing with Second Life. It has this immensely odd (yet perfectly natural-feeling once you’ve been there a while) ability to combine the mundane and the absurd. Everyone is distinctive in Second Life – because you’re not limited to hard-coded appearance options, you can be whoever you want to be. You don’t even have to be human. I picked up an awesome Pac-Man avatar the other day that allows you to spawn dots and ghosts and turn any place you go into a game of 3D Pac-Man.

In fact, the question of not being human is one of the more interesting sides to Second Life that I haven’t explored yet. It also happens to be the side that there’s a lot of sordid assumptions about, particularly around the “furry” avatars. Yes, there are people who choose to represent themselves as furry animals and then have simulated sex whilst masturbating furiously at the sight of their interlocked pixels. But equally there are people who choose to represent themselves as furry animals just because they like them. On one memorable occasion I was spending some time at a hangout with my earliest friends in SL (who are still good personal friends to this day, I might add) and I was introduced to an immensely clever man from a university who was working on lots of exciting things to do with AI. My friend Lyndy, who introduced me, assumed that because I “knew about computers” I’d be able to chat to this guy no problem. However, he was explaining concepts that were way over my head… but they were interesting to hear. The really peculiar thing, though, was that he was dressed as a fox. Not a foxy lady, no, an actual fox. In a waistcoat. If anyone remembers a really old DOS point-and-click adventure called Inherit the Earth… the main character from that? Fox-in-a-waistcoat called Rif? That’s about it.

Why do I remember that? I never even played it.

Second Life is flawed in many ways. I’ve talked about this many a time with Jennatar, and she suggested the notion that virtual worlds are a much younger technology than the Internet. Currently with virtual worlds, she says, we’re at a similar sort of stage to the Internet was in in the early 90s in that there’s a lot of stuff out there to explore, but navigation, user interfaces, efficiency and practicality haven’t quite reached the level of stability you’d need to be completely “mainstream”. This means that titles like Second Life are, at least for now, going to be “niche” interests. However, interestingly, the “niche” for Second Life perhaps isn’t what you’d expect – an oft-quoted “statistic” is that of the many residents of the world, a significant majority of them are female and over 30. This is certainly true amongst my circle of online friends – I think there’s one guy and about thirty gals on my friends list. This is also backed up by the fact that the “retail” sector in the world is very much female-dominated, with vast business empires and shopping malls devoted to female clothing, hair, animations and the like, with male products often relegated to the virtual equivalent of a dusty old cellar. One may argue that this may lead to a lot of males representing them as females, and of course this goes on – given the opportunity to live out a fantasy life, I’m sure there’s plenty of men out there who wonder what it would be like to be a woman – and a hot one at that (no-one is ugly in SL unless you make a specific effort to do so!) – and give it a try.

There’s a kind of implicit understanding amongst residents though – don’t ask, don’t tell. If someone doesn’t want their “first life” brought into it, then you don’t ask. If it’s a female on the screen, then as far as you’re concerned, it’s a female you’re dealing with. I actually don’t have a problem with this. Perhaps it’s because I’m not spending my time going around having sex with these people, but it certainly doesn’t bother me – if they choose to represent themselves in that way, for whatever reason that might be, then that’s their business.

Despite its many flaws and its perceived “niche” interest, I have a lot of time for Second Life. It’s an experience that is very much made by the people you interact with. Without people to meet, talk to and interact with you’re relying on stumbling across interesting content solo – and while there is plenty of interesting stuff to do by yourself, it’s always better to share with other people. Much like real life, in fact.

I’ll certainly be very interested to see how virtual worlds develop over the years. Will Second Life remain in its pioneering position of almost entirely user-generated content? Will it be overtaken by something else? Who knows. I do know that I have made some genuinely close friends in its strange world, many of whom I am unlikely to ever meet face-to-face. And I’m fine with that. By having their “virtual” face in front of me on the screen – even if it’s nothing like their real-life face – I still feel like I “know” them better than people I interact with on the Internet in less direct ways. Perhaps “know” is the wrong word – it’s difficult to describe, but knowing someone’s avatar feels a lot more “physical” (for want of a better word) somehow than a username on a page of text.

It’s not an experience for everyone by any means. It would bore the pants off someone expecting to play an exciting game, because it’s not a game. But as a means for virtual social interaction, it’s an interesting experiment… one that still has a long way to go, but also has an incredible amount of potential.

I blog about my experiences in the world in more detail here. I post my photos from the world here. Feel free to check them out if you’re the slightest bit interested.

Communication, mmm-mm-mmmm

Back in primary school, we used to have to sing songs in Assembly every morning. Then on Thursday mornings, we’d have “Hymn Practice” instead of Assembly, which in most cases was simply an Assembly by a different name. And then there was the one afternoon a week where the music teacher (who was also my piano teacher at the time) would come into the school and make us sing even more, using material from the BBC’s Singing Together radio programme and companion songbooks.

One of the awful songs that has inexplicably stuck in my head ever since those dark, song-filled times ran thus:

Communication, mmm-mm-mmm,
Communication, mmm-mm-mmm,
Way back long ago men sent messages
Beating out rhythms on drums and bones

I remember the rest of the tune, but not the words. It was one of those songs that parents like to describe as “funky” when in fact, due to the fact it’s performed by tone-deaf primary school students accompanied by a miserable pianist on an out-of-tune piano, is anything but.

This is a roundabout way of introducing the topic I feel like talking about today which is, oddly enough, communication (mmm-mm-mmm). I apologise, but if you’re reading this post, you’ve probably indulged my flights into the bizarre in the past.

There’s been a lot of attention on sites such as Twitter recently, and particularly, it seems, in the last month or so. Ever since Stephen Fry happened to mention it on the Jonathan Ross show here in the UK, people in my group of “real-life” friends have been signing up to it like crazy. This is a big thing, because many Internet “fads” often pass by the UK, the general (i.e. non-geek) population here being afflicted by a sort of general malaise and apathy that causes them to denounce anything where you have to do something that could be remotely considered as “work” (i.e. something where you have to use your brain or, God forbid, write something) to be a Bad Thing.

To give you an idea of how this has gone, let me paint you a little picture. I have been using Twitter for some time now as a means of communicating with my friends in the Squadron of Shame, who are mostly based in the US and Canada. It’s been great for that, but it’s also been great as a means of “stress relief” – a place to post those thoughts you don’t really want to say out loud but you kind of want people to “hear”, if you catch my meaning. I often refer to it as a means of externalising your own inner monologue, and for many people it is. Of course, blogs also carry that function for many people, but the immediacy of Twitter, coupled with the fact you are limited in how much you can say, makes it an attractive option for “microblogging”, its originally intended purpose.

Now, as I say, I’ve been using it for some time both as a means of communicating with other people and venting my own frustrations, of which there are many, as you’ve probably seen. My friends here in the UK often wondered why on earth I was bothering with such a simple website when places like Facebook offered far more in the way of options, applications and other fluff – particularly when Facebook offers its own system for microblogging through its status update system. But the fact is, the simplicity of Twitter is the attractive thing about it. Facebook is full of fluff, and has been growing more fluff as time goes on, as have other sites like it. Now, much more than simply being able to post messages to that hot girl you fancy at college, or trying to avoid exes, Facebook markets itself as a “platform” for the interminable flow of applications that clutter up everyone’s profiles and get in the way of the original purpose – communicating.

Twitter does no such thing. Twitter gives you a box to type in what you’re doing, and a list of other people’s answers to the same query. Nothing more. And as a result, the communication involved is much better. If you want to ask someone something, you ask them. There’s no wading through their Tetris high scores, no comparing people and choosing who is “the most punctual” (thanks for voting for me on that one, you obviously don’t know me THAT well) and no looking at daily LOLcats. Simple and clear.

There’s a time and a place for these different types of communication, of course, but it was just interesting to me that it took a celebrity endorsement for people in this country to pay attention to something as simple as Twitter, while the glitz and flash of Facebook, MySpace and Bebo sweep through the lands like a plague.

With this in mind, over the last few months I’ve been exploring different alternatives for communicating on the web. With the ubiquity of the Internet these days, you’re never very far from some means of talking to another person – be that in real-time via instant messaging services or in a more “when you feel like it” manner via services like Twitter, Facebook and message boards. There’s an interesting variety of different approaches.

First, of course, is the humble blog. You’re reading this, and presumably you’ve got this far otherwise you wouldn’t know I’d said “presumably you’ve got this far”. Why are you reading this? It could be one of several reasons. It could be because you want to get to know me better, it could be because you’re nosey, it could be because you’re interested in the things I talk about (though I defy anyone to pin a single “topic” on this blog) or it could simply because you like the way I write. How did you find me? Chances are, in my experience, that you found this place either because I told you, or because you clicked on a link in one of my other friends’ sites. How you got here doesn’t matter. If you’re reading this, you’re effectively allowing me to talk at you for several minutes before I pause, look around the room at the people who have been listening intently (and ignoring the people who wandered off to look at porn several paragraphs ago) and invite questions and comments in the… um… comments. Blogs can be good starting points for discussions, but they’re inherently one-sided – the blog’s writer has most of the power, and commenters have a more “subservient” role, if anything. That’s not a bad reflection on any of you thinking about commenting, before you say anything – it’s simply the way the medium works.

I find a blog to be a great way of getting complicated thoughts or opinions out of my head in a way I (and hopefully other people) can understand – when expressing myself verbally rather than through text, I often find that social anxiety takes over and I get tongue-tied. Here, though, I can consider what I say before I say it, and then invite questions or opinions after the fact.

Next up, I’ve been exploring Tumblr. Tumblr is a strange one, somewhere halfway between Twitter and a blog in its execution. Different people use Tumblr for different things. For the self-confessed lazy blogger, it makes a solid, easy-to-use foundation for blogging in the manner I discussed above. For others, such as myself, it becomes a sort of digital scrapbook, a receptacle for all the random noise floating around your head or pictures of cats that you see on the Internet that you don’t want to clog up your Twitter stream with constantly.

For others still, it becomes a means of communication, though in a completely different manner to something like Twitter. Tumblr’s communication centres around the idea of “reblogging” – taking something that someone else posted, posting it on your own page and adding your own take on it. This is something that tends not to happen with blogs like this one – either because they’re too content-rich, too long or simply out of respect for the person who wrote it in the first place. After all, if you want to comment, there’s a comments box right at the bottom. Not so on Tumblr, however – because posts tend to be short and snappy – a quote, an excerpt from conversation, a photo – it’s easier to reblog them, comment on them and thereby expose them to more and more people. In that sense, Tumblr is very much a viral marketer’s dream. Post something cool once and if someone reblogs it, then someone else reblogs it, then someone else… each time it gets more and more views and is accessible to a wider and wider audience.

Take this awesome picture of Darth Vader, originally from the Wired blog, apparently. By the time I came across it, fairly randomly, I might add, it had already been through about ten people. Currently, there are 134 “notes” on the image, which means it’s either been tagged as “liked” or “reblogged” by 134 people. Similarly, take the Microsoft Songsmith stuff. There’s absolutely no denying that Songsmith is a work of great evil, but I bet you know what I’m talking about without me having to post a link. Viral marketing at work. Sort of.

Then there’s more “active” means of communication. I have had a long-time fascination with virtual world Second Life, it still representing a fairly unique branching-off from the typical massively-multiplayer scenario in that there are no goals, no scores, no experience points, no set content – pretty much everything – buildings, objects, scripting that makes objects work, bits of interface, even avatar clothing, hair and body parts – is created by the “players”. This is a spectacular achievement, when you think about it, and whatever you may feel about Second Life and the people who enjoy it, there’s absolutely no denying that it’s an impressive means of communication and expression. It is very much its own world with its own rules and conventions, and it’s an interesting place to spend some time, even if you don’t plan on staying. Just to confuse matters, I started a Tumblelog about my Second Life experiences here, and microblog about it on yet another site called Plurk, which feeds to a Twitter feed, which… you get the idea.

There are a million and one other sites I could talk about on this note but I feel I have carried on for far too long already. The point of this post is simply to celebrate the possibilities for communication that the Internet offers. It’s easy to forget – or at least take for granted – the fact that simply by sitting down in front of our computer, we can easily talk to and interact with people from all over the world. Let’s never forget how awesome that is.