I’m just shy of level 49 on the White Mage class in Final Fantasy XIV, which means I’ll more than likely hit 50 tomorrow, which in turn makes Final Fantasy XIV the first MMO that I’ve not only reached the level cap and done some endgame stuff, but also the first MMO in which I’ve reached the level cap more than once. Granted, once you’ve done it once, subsequent levelling is significantly quicker thanks to the “Armoury Bonus” mechanic — bonus experience points based on the difference between your current class’ level and your highest class’ level — but it still demands a significant amount of commitment and, as the complete-once quests around the world dry up, creativity and flexibility in terms of how you’re going to level up 49 times.

This second run to 50 has been interesting for a number of reasons, firstly because it’s involved playing the game in a completely different way. During my first runthrough, in which I took the Thaumaturgist/Black Mage class up to 50, I was following the game’s “Main Scenario” questline, which takes you through a complete, authentically Final Fantasy story in the purest sense. And it’s a resolutely old-school Final Fantasy, too, all about crystal-related mysticism, powerful ancient forces stirring to cause chaos and, of course, a cast of villains in memorable-looking but impractical armour that probably makes it impossible for them to go to the toilet without lacerating their genitals. It’s also paced in such a way that aside from a slight “dry spell” in the mid-40s, it’s always taking you to new places in the world and providing you with a bunch of sidequests to do — by the time you reach the grand finale, you’ll be level 50 and have a thorough understanding of how your class works, and consequently should have little difficulty challenging the “final” eight-player dungeons and obliterating the Big Bad from the face of Eorzea.

Conversely, once you’re done with all that, there’s not quite the same narrative push to keep you earning XP and progressing — the game switches, for the most part, from being all about following a linear storyline to “living” in the game world and making your own fun to a certain extent. It takes on a much more freeform feeling — though there’s still something of an “optimal” route to level up as quickly as possible — and provides fun of a different sort. There’s also a lot more flexibility to take on your own personal challenges — I’m hoping to eventually collect all the unique sets of equipment from the various dungeons, for example, but this will require me to be a bit more organised than I currently am, clear out my bulging Armoury Chest and make some checklists. Soon. Soon.

As well as this shift in play style, playing a completely different type of class has been interesting, too. Ever since my first serious attempt at playing an MMO — World of Warcraft — I’ve largely focused on playing heavy damage dealers, usually mages or the local equivalent. While these roles are demanding in their own right — particularly later in the games, there’s an expectation that you have a thorough understanding of your abilities and how to use them efficiently to inflict as much damage as possible in as short a time as possible — there’s often not as much “responsibility” as comes with the other two important roles in a typical MMO party: the “tank” and the “healer”. Consequently, when I came to Final Fantasy XIV, I wanted to start with something I was familiar with — and while Black Mage comes with its own unique mechanics that I haven’t seen in an MMO before, it was still largely about flinging flamey things at bad things until they fall over.

Switching to Conjurer/White Mage, though, was truly interesting, and it becomes particularly clear how different it is to play a healer the moment you step into a dungeon. No longer are you concentrating on the enemies and queueing up devastating attacks; instead, you’re focusing your attention for the most part on the little party window in the upper-left corner of the screen, and making use of your restorative abilities to ensure none of those numbers reach zero as much as you can. This is very easy early in the game — a lot easier than I was expecting, in fact — but becomes more challenging the more abilities you have available to you. By the time you’re healing later dungeons, you’re having to content with status effects (dispatched with a swift cast of the “Esuna” spell) and bosses that inflict damage on the whole party at once. You start having to prioritise your actions carefully — can the tank take a few more hits while you buff up the armour of the more squishy party members, or should you fling him a heal or two first? — and the responsibility of knowing that the fate of the party largely (though not completely in many cases) lies with you becomes more obvious.

I actually thought this experience would be terrifying — to be frank, I was worried I’d fuck it up and get yelled at by people who died as a result of my incompetent healing — but I’ve found myself enjoying the experience a great deal, and seemingly being quite good at it. I haven’t yet been thrown into an eight-player dungeon — the first of those don’t show up until you reach level 50 — and I’m a little nervous at the prospect since I’m not quite sure how two healers divide up the workload of healing a much larger party, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out. Plus it’s always nice to be useful, and healers are certainly that.

Anyway. Time for bed. It’s been a pleasantly peaceful day today, and I can feel my head gradually getting back to whatever passes for “normal”. Not quite perfect yet, but getting there.