Hello! I’m back from a day in London that’s left my feet aching. I really need some new shoes. The revolting sweatiness of my feet has all but destroyed the inner soles of most of my pairs of shoes. Nice. Anyway, sweaty feet and shoes that are falling to bits are not what today’s entry is about.

We went to the London Aquarium, or the London Sea-Life Aquarium to give it its full title. It was Jane’s birthday the other day and she decided a few weeks back that she wanted to come and see the fish. We’d seen some great displays of fish and underwater life at zoos in both Toronto and New York over the last year, and we’d resolved to go and see more things that were a little closer to home. After all, London is a little over an hour’s train journey away, and there’s tons of cool stuff there to see and do, even if you do have to deal with taking your life into your hands every time you cross a London street. That said, it’s no worse than Italian streets, from my limited experience with them. Probably better.

First challenge of the day was, of course, trying to buy a train ticket from the machines at the station. You’d think this would be as easy as selecting “London” as your destination, indicating that yet, you would like to come back as well as go there, and then purchasing your ticket.

No.

Do you want a Standard Day Return? A Super Saver Off-Peak Day Return? A Mega Buster Super-Fantastic Awesome Only Valid For Three Minutes A Day Which You’ve Already Missed Day Return? All of these cost varying amounts of money. If you remember to book in advance they cost different amounts again – considerably less, usually, but that requires pre-planning. Which is, let’s face it, not always on the cards.

Battle with the ticket machine won, we got on the train and headed to Waterloo before walking down to the South Bank to find the Aquarium. For my international readers unfamiliar with London, the South Bank of the River Thames is a pretty vibrant area that always has loads of things going on. There’s a whole bunch of concert halls there which see everything from black tie classical performances to Video Games Live, several museums, lots of places to eat, the London Eye, boat trips, and today there appeared to be some sort of world culture event going on. This was mostly filled with stalls selling food, tat made to look faintly “ethnic” and, bizarrely, what looked like the opportunity to have one’s photo taken with an African man. How odd.

But I digress. The Aquarium beckoned, and Jane had had the foresight to print out some of the 2 for 1 offers on this site, meaning the two of us effectively got to go in for half price. Or only one of us paid. Or however you want to look at it. We went in and immediately discovered that the London Sea-Life Aquarium do not have a very good toilet strategy. There is one toilet by the entrance, along with a sign saying that “The next toilets are 20-30 minutes into your journey” – so naturally, there was a huge queue, even before we’d got in. (Wee-d got in. Do you see what I… oh, never mind.)

The Aquarium itself was great. Plenty of huge fishtanks with lots of interesting fish from all over the world to see, including many from Britain, too, as well as some of the more exotic fish (and other… things) from tropical waters. And, of course, sharks.

I remember someone saying a while back that under the sea is one of the only places on earth where you legitimately get things that you can call “monsters”. And it’s true. There are things down there that would be terrifying to find yourself confronted with. Even the monsters of Lovecraft (themselves from beneath the waves) aren’t that outlandish compared to some of the things that really do exist, particularly in the deep. It’s interesting to see creatures that are just so completely alien in design and function to land-based creatures.

Take a jellyfish, for example. No brain, almost completely seethrough body and four balls that you can see in the middle of its body. Sorry, “gonads”, to use the technical term. (I always find it amusing that “gonads” is a scientific term, particularly in light of this gentleman from British comic history) Weird shit. And certainly not something you’d want to wake up with on your face, for example. And sharks. They have big teeth. Sounds obvious, I know, but it’s not until you see one up close in a big tank with glass windows that you realise quite how vicious those things look.

The other interesting thing I thought about while looking around is how easy it is to look at these creatures and see human characteristics in them. Sharks, for example, look pissed off all the time. Manta rays look like they enjoy flying out and surprising things like ghosts. There were a bunch of fish that looked like they were belming. And, of course, there’s Happy Fish. Now, who knows whether or not these undersea things really are feeling these things that they look like they’re feeling, but it’s certainly fun (or the sign of an overactive imagination!).

The only disappointing thing about the Aquarium was the “Shark Walk”, which is hyped as one of the big attractions there and I was assuming was one of those “glass tunnels” where you walk through the middle of a tank full of sharks. (The promotional picture I have posted at the top of this entry probably went some way to making me think this.) However, what it actually was turned out to be, essentially, the attic of the Aquarium with a glass floor. The sharks were quite a long way below where you stand, and the water was a bit murky. It was very disappointing, but the fact that you could see the same shark tank earlier in the tour of the place with much bigger windows made up for it.

It was a good trip, and I’d recommend it to anyone who, well, likes fish. I believe there’s times when there are proper tours – there was some guy with a mildly annoying voice rabbiting on about sharks as we passed one area – but otherwise you can wander around and read the (relatively simple) information and quizzes scattered around the place. To be honest, it’s quite pleasant just looking at the fish, even if you don’t learn that much.

After the Aquarium, we wandered over to St. James’s Park, which looks just like it does in Project Gotham Racing, only with more people and pelicans in residence. Yes, pelicans. The area in the centre of the park is set aside as a sort of “nature reserve”, with a variety of non-native birds making their home their. There are pelicans, canada geese, other kinds of geese whose name I’ve forgotten and a whole bunch of other things there. Jane freaked out a bit when we noticed there was a pelican on the loose in the main part of the park. It was just wandering around. It wasn’t causing any trouble, but it was amusing to see the people sitting on the grass look around and react with shock, fright or amusement. “OMG WTF PELICANZORZ”, they seemed to say.

Then we had a hot dog in the park, walked back to Waterloo via Trafalgar Square (which is much closer to Waterloo than I realised) and then caught the train home, accompanied by people who don’t know where the volume control on their ringtones are. Now we’re sitting watching The Cube. Well, I’m blogging too. But The Cube is on next to me.

So yes. A nice day. I’d recommend it, as I say, to anyone who likes fish.