I like questions. They’re a good starting point for conversations, and they’re a great writing prompt. For this reason, I’m very fond of social sites like Retrospring and Ask.FM, though it can sometimes be a challenge to get people to actually ask interesting questions.

Today, then, inspired by the fact I’ve been playing with Retrospring a bit recently — ask me anything here (caution: Umaru boobs) — I thought I’d work through a few questions as writing prompts. Rather than just being lazy and using my Retrospring answers, though — which is tempting, believe me — I thought I’d make use of the dearly-departed Plinky.com, and use some of its writing prompts that it still has available. I’m not going to spend more than a paragraph on each, mind.

All right! Let’s begin.

Was there a toy or thing you always wanted as a child, during the holidays or on your birthday, but never received? Tell us about it.

Lots of things, I’m sure! Every child wants absolutely everything because they have no concept whatsoever of what money is or how it works. (I remember when I was young and my mother remarked that they were a bit low on money that month, and in my primary school wisdom I suggested they just “go to the bank and get some more”) Specifics, though? Hmm. I quite wanted Red Venom, the evil counterpart to the awesome Manta Force toy that I had, but never got one. I also wanted a Mega Drive to go along with my Super NES, but never got one. I’ll probably live.

Write about a noise — or even a silence — that won’t go away. (We’ll let you interpret this in different ways…)

Thanks, mysterious question master. Well, there are indeed lots of ways this can be interpreted. It could be interpreted as something simple like tinnitus — I like to listen to music loud in the car and on headphones, so occasionally give myself mild bouts of this — or it could be used to describe an “earworm” of a piece of music that just won’t go away. In the latter case, I think the opening theme to Monster Musume definitely counts as this, particularly the bit where Centorea is doing her “whooshwhooshwhooshwhooshwhoosh” bit with her sword.

What’s your learning style? Do you prefer learning in a group and in an interactive setting? Or one-on-one? Do you retain information best through lectures, or visuals, or simply by reading books?

Whoa whoa whoa there, sparky, one question at a time. My learning style… uh… I’m not really sure, actually. Depends somewhat on my mood, but I’m quite good at learning by myself using books. I like to have practical examples of the things that I’m learning and ways I can practice those skills. If I’m learning under someone, I generally prefer one-on-one as there’s less scope for embarrassment if you can’t do something while everyone else can. I loathe passive lectures, though; they put me to sleep, particularly if the subject matter isn’t something I’m particularly interested in in the first place.

You have 15 minutes to address the whole world live (on television or radio — choose your format). What would you say?

Given my self-imposed “one paragraph” rule, I’ll paraphrase: I’d tell people that they need to be better to one another, and that they need to stop judging each other on stupid things, be it skin colour, race, gender, sexuality or even tastes in entertainment. Everyone is different, and that’s something that should be celebrated, but we should also enjoy it when we manage to find people on the same wavelength as us. Worry less about what’s “problematic” and “troubling”, and focus more on the positives. Stop listening to blowhards like Anita Sarkeesian, Jonathan McIntosh and Michael Pachter. (One of these things is not like the others.) Make up your own mind about how you feel, and don’t berate other people if they feel differently. (Unless, of course, they’re actually hurting someone, in which case you can give them a swift kick in the genitals.) Above all, don’t be a massive cunt.

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

I’m not in full-time work at the moment, so all day is technically “playtime”. That’s not true at all, of course; I spend a considerable proportion of the days when I’m not working worrying about the fact I’m not working and that I’m not earning any money, then attempting to be proactive about getting some work to do. Playtime, though, is extremely important, as it helps you to unwind and switch off from the stresses of the day. Everyone should play. Exactly what “play” means is different for everyone, but you should find something that (preferably) has nothing to do with your job, and indulge in it until you feel happy and content.

Are you good at what you do? What would you like to be better at?

It’s difficult to say “what I do” these days. I’ve been through so many jobs and things that I’m really not sure what my “identity” in this regard is any more. The one real constant has been writing, though, and I think I’m quite good at that. I’d like to be better at music and computery things on the technical side (both hardware and software); these are both things I was really good at when I was a youngster, but my knowledge hasn’t really “moved with the times” over the years, unfortunately. I’ll happily throw myself into attempting to learn things, but some stuff just doesn’t stick; I can still program complicated things in Atari BASIC, for example, but I can never remember how fucking JavaScript works.

Share the story of a time you felt unsafe.

I’m not good with any situation where I worry I might hurt myself, so I try and avoid them whenever possible. One example that springs to mind is a time some university friends and I went up to Sheffield to visit a friend who had moved there. During our stay, we went walking in the impressive hills nearby, and several of our number decided they wanted to climb a rock face, and did so without too much difficulty. I got a few inches off the ground, became utterly terrified and refused to go any further. I’m not proud of that, really, but I’m also glad I didn’t go through with it, as the shoes I was wearing really weren’t suitable for that sort of thing, and I probably would have hurt myself.

Think about something that drives you crazy. Now, think about something that makes you happy. Does it change your perspective on the former?

Nope, unfortunately, because the thing that drives me crazy is the way people act towards the thing that makes me happy. Get out of that little paradox, if you will.

(Last one for now.)

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

I’m scared of all sorts of things — many of which would appear to be stupid to the average observer, but such is the nature of anxiety-related issues. I think the thing I’m most scared to do is simply the mundaneness that is finding a job that is worth my time and effort, sticking with it and accepting that that is who I am: nothing special, nothing remarkable, nothing out of the ordinary. Or perhaps I’m just too proud to do that. Either way, it’s something that isn’t happening at the moment, and it probably should; ultimately, it’s going to be that ol’ faithful motivator money that makes me do something about it, I guess.