I was explaining HunieCam Studio to a friend earlier, and it became apparent that the things I was saying about it were actually rather amusing.

It occurs to me that describing what you do in games in their most literal sense is actually quite entertaining, and a sobering reminder that our beloved hobby is filled with baffling and wonderful things.

With that in mind, here are a few paragraphs describing games I’ve played recently.

HunieCam Studio

In my second playthrough of this, I specialised my girls a bit more than I did in my first attempt. Because I had a few particularly troublesome drinkers and smokers, I hired Tiffany (cheap, doesn’t do either) to do nothing but run errands, which worked well, particularly if you give her a shopping basket to double the yield from the shops. Then I maxed out some girls and gave them the Subscribe pillows so they earned fans even while camming. My workforce was riddled with STDs, though, which made things a bit more challenging. Nikki caught AIDS on day 2.

Nights of Azure

I went down into the subways in search of the cat who had swallowed Lilysse’s ring back in the Old Count’s Garden. There was a black butterfly infestation at the Amusement Park Station, so a demon stood between me and my feline friend. I summoned my Servans and told Ace to make the demon bleed while I slashed away at it from behind. I was ultimately successful in my efforts, and the cat coughed up the ring, which Lilysse was relieved to see again.

Dungeon Travelers 2

My exploration through Eternal Hell looked like it was coming to a close, but suddenly I felt a strong presence from the other side of a door. Steeling my party for a tough fight, I stepped through and battled the enemy waiting for us. Predictably, after combat she lay there in a distinctly provocative pose making flirtatious remarks to Fried, who finally lost his patience, having put up with this sort of behaviour throughout his entire adventure, and told her to stop acting this way because it was making his party members think less of him. She obliged sulkily.

Grand Theft Auto Online

It looked like our prison break had been successful. The escapee was ready to flee the country in the plane we had provided for him, and all that was left was to parachute to safety while he flew off into the sunset. We leaped out of the plane and set our sites on the beach far below us. We were all ready to celebrate our victory over this, our toughest challenge to date, when suddenly: a distant explosion, then silence. Our comrade had crashed his helicopter, causing all our hard work to be for naught.

Dead or Alive Xtreme 3

I went rock climbing with Kasumi, then had a butt battle with Honoka at the pool. In the evening, we had a volleyball match against Nyotengu and Helena. Then I went to the casino, won a bit of money at blackjack and then lost it again at poker. Then Kasumi went to bed. The next morning I took some photographs of her and Honoka having a Pool Hopping race, then I bought Kasumi a new swimsuit which she felt indifferently towards. I gift-wrapped an ice-cream cone and gave it to Honoka and she seemed to like it a great deal. Then we had a tug of war on floating platforms on the pool, then it was time for bed again.