1109: Killachine

Page_1Another day, another article declaring the console will be “dead” before we know it. Lots of people — mostly analysts and business-savvy people who work in the mobile and social sectors — have been saying things like this recently, so it must be true, right?

Nah. ‘Tis bollocks, as usual. While it’s impossible to deny the huge impact that mobile devices have had on bringing the concept of playing games to the masses — the actually-not-all-that-good Temple Run 2 recently surpassed a whopping 50 million downloads — to say that they are going to “kill” consoles and/or dedicated gaming handhelds is, frankly, ridiculous.

Why? Because they cater to completely different markets and tastes. Mobile and social games are, for the most part, designed for players to while away a few minutes while something else is going on — perhaps a lengthy dump, a wait for a bus or a particularly boring meeting with a conveniently-placed table to hide what you’re up to — while computer and console games are, for the most part, designed for players to sit down in front of for a more protracted period of time and immerse themselves in the experience. There are exceptions in both cases, of course — hence the “for the most part” disclaimers — but, on the whole, that’s where we stand. And there’s nothing wrong with either aspect of gaming — they both exist, and they will both more than likely continue to exist.

The word “games” isn’t all that useful any more, in fact, because the medium it describes is now too diverse to be covered by a single word. I can say “I like playing games” and that will mean something completely different to what someone else means when they say it. When I say it, I mean that I like relaxing on my couch with a controller in my hand, staring at the TV and immersing myself in a game with depth, an interesting story, or both. When someone else says it, they might mean that they have three-starred all the levels on Angry Birds, or that they fire up FarmVille during quiet periods in the office, or that they have fifteen Words With Friends games on the go at any one time. These are obviously completely different experiences, though there can be a degree of crossover between the two extremes — there’s nothing to stop someone who, say, is big into competitive League of Legends play also enjoying playing Scramble With Friends against their less gaming-savvy friends and family.

Where we start to get problems is when developers and/or publishers from one group start to try and step across the invisible line into the other group. More often than not, this is seen in the form of mobile and social developers promising a mobile or social experience that will appeal to “core gamers” — in other words, the group that, like me, enjoys immersing themselves in an experience for hours at a time rather than as a throwaway diversion. It is, sadly, abundantly clear that a huge number of developers who try and take this route have absolutely no clue whatsoever how to design a game that will appeal to these players. The article I linked above is from the CEO of a company called Kabam, who specialise in developing a variety of almost-identical “strategy” (and I use the term loosely) games that supposedly appeal to “core” players. All of their games are the same (literally — I tested three side-by-side as an experiment once, and the quests the player was expected to follow were completely identical, right down to the wording) albeit with a slightly different visual aesthetic, and all of them are as dull as ditchwater.

The bewildering thing is that someone, somewhere, is playing these games — and, more to the point, spending money on them — enough to let them be considered a “success”. So more and more of them start appearing, each inevitably following the exact same template, making all the same mistakes and pissing off the same people while somehow convincing the same others that reaching for their credit card is a really, really good idea.

Note that I’m not saying here that mobile, social and/or free-to-play games are inherently bad in and of themselves; it’s that in many of these cases — particularly those that are supposed to be designed to appeal to “core” gamers — they are designed by people with an astonishingly strong sense of business savvy, and a complete lack of understanding in what makes a game actually fun or interesting to play. In other words, the fact that something is financially successful should not be the only criteria for it being considered “good” — you just have to look at Mobage/Cygames’ shockingly awful Rage of Bahamutone of the top-grossing mobile games in the world, to see how this is the case.

No, the problem that we have is that everything new always has to “kill” something else. This flawed logic has been seen with numerous other technologies in the past; laptops would kill desktops, tablets would kill laptops, TV and video would kill the cinema… the list goes on. In very few cases is it actually true. Okay, DVD killed VHS, but that was a simple case of a superior format doing the same thing rather than two vaguely related — but not identical — things battling it out for supremacy. People still use desktops as well as laptops because big screens are nice and more practical in many circumstances. People still use laptops as well as tablets because typing on a touchscreen is still a horrid experience. People still go to the cinema as well as watching TV or DVD/videos because it’s nice to see something on a huge screen with room-shaking sound.

Why does everything have to be reduced to binaries? Why does something new always have to “kill” something else, even if it clearly isn’t performing the same function? Can’t these people just accept that certain parts of the populace are happy with one thing, and others are happy with another?

Ahh, if only.

#oneaday Day 573: The Completely Subjective Guide to the Current State of G+ Games

So you’re on Google+ and you’ve seen with some trepidation that social games have come to the platform. Firstly, fear not, because all the game posts are confined to their own stream that is separate from the day to day social interactions. Said game stream needs some work — you can’t filter it in any way at the moment, for example — but at least it means your conversations aren’t continually interrupted with “HEY! I NEED SOME PAINTBRUSHES! CLICK HERE AND GET FREE GIFTS!” as they are on Facebook. The lack of the “Wall” as a concept on G+ also helps with this — interactions take place in a timeline, like Twitter, but with comments, like Facebook. It’s a good system.

But you want to know about these games, right? Millions of people play Facebook/social games every day and you’ve never dared take the plunge. So here’s a brief look at each of them, gleaned from myself taking a brief look at each of them so you don’t have to. I’m not pretending these are in-depth or even fair reviews, just first impressions from the amount of time an average user might take to decide whether or not to pursue playing a game further.

Angry Birds

You probably know by now whether or not you love or hate Angry Birds and its unpredictable physics model. This is no different from the norm. Well, there is one slight difference: the “teamwork” levels. Don’t get too excited by the prospect of multiplayer action, though — all the “teamwork” aspect is is all your friends’ stars being added together in an attempt to unlock further levels.

Bejeweled Blitz

It’s Bejeweled Blitz, the one-minute twist on traditional Bejeweled play. It features a tournament system and doesn’t hassle you every two minutes to share everything you’ve done. It does feature a completely unnecessary experience point system, however.

Bubble Island

It’s Bust A Move, demonstrating ably the first refuge of an unfortunately large number of unscrupulous social game developers: ripping off someone else’s game and reskinning it. It’s not a bad version of Bust A Move, but the fact it’s a shameless clone is a little grating.

City of Wonder

Clearly trying to be Civilization, right down to ripping off the things the advisors say when they’re suggesting what to research next, this doesn’t have the depth of Meier’s game. If you enjoy building cities without having to worry about pesky geographical principles or simulation elements, then you might like this, otherwise it’s one to give a miss. Weird art style, too.

Crime City

Absolute garbage. A game about crime should be about the thrill and the tension of potentially getting caught; here, it’s about clicking on things and watching progress bars. In essence, it’s Farmville, only with guns. This might sound great, but it’s actually awful. A waste of a potentially rich theme; avoid.

Diamond Dash

A reasonable puzzle game with a simple premise — click groups of 3 or more gems that touch orthogonally to make them disappear. Repeat for one minute. It’s sort of like Bejeweled Blitz but with a different mechanic. There’s a weekly tournament option like PopCap’s classic, but you have to unlock it by levelling up to level 3. Players who play this game more have an unfair advantage by getting automatic score boosts depending on their “experience” level.

Dragon Age Legends

Probably the best of the bunch in that it demands some degree of interaction on the player, and makes use of your friends in an excellent way. Dragon Age Legends is a combat-focused RPG where they player moves from battle to battle, engaging increasingly tough hordes of enemies in turn-based combat with up to two companions initially. The social twist is that these companions are your friends who are also playing the game, complete with the equipment and skills they’ve chosen to outfit them with — essentially a form of asynchronous cooperative multiplayer. For those with no friends, the game also provides a selection of virtual friends for you, too.

While not as deep as a “real” RPG, Dragon Age Legends goes some way to showing that traditional game mechanics don’t necessarily have to be sacrificed for the sake of making the game friendly to the social network audience.

Dragons of Atlantis

This is by “hardcore social games” specialist Kabam, and is one of the most tedious games I’ve ever played, not helped by the fact that the tutorial (disguised as a list of “quests”, as usual) goes on for approximately fifteen bajillion years and steps you through EVERY SINGLE STEP YOU MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY WANTED TO MAKE YOURSELF ANYWAY with “rewards” along the way. The game is about building your city state and then kicking the shit out of other players, but it will take you a good few hours to get to a stage where you’re able to attack another player — and you may well have been bored shitless prior to that due to the fact that some buildings take 30-60 minutes of real time to build.

Dragons of Atlantis is mildly unusual among social games in that it features a real-time chat interface, though. The community doesn’t know the words “you’re” and “they’re” exist, and there seems to be an awful lot of people trolling for cybersex. There are probably better places to do this than in a public chat window that is two lines of text high in a tedious game about running a city that’s supposedly in Atlantis (I thought Atlantis was a city?). Also there are dragons, apparently.

Edge World

Also from Kabam, this game gets going a bit quicker than Dragons of Atlantis but is fundamentally pretty much the same game, only with a sci-fi skin. It looks like StarCraft but it really isn’t — you have no direct strategic control over your troops when attacking a base, for example.

Wild Ones

It’s Worms, basically, though victory is determined by how much total damage you do, not by who is eliminated first. You have a significantly more limited arsenal than in Team 17’s classic, though.

Unusually for a social game, it offers simultaneous online play. Most of the community appear to have never played Worms before, meaning you can assure victory for yourself by having a slight understanding of physics.

Zynga Poker

A decent implementation of online poker. Not much more to say about that really! As the reviewing cliché goes, if you like poker, you’ll like this.