Many of you may already feel this way – others may think I’m talking out of my arse here, but I present for you the reasons why Elite Beat Agents is, in almost every way, a complete masterpiece of game design. You may wonder the timing of this post if you haven’t been following me on Twitter, but the fact is, following our discussion on the Squadron of Shame SquadCast about Okami, and bringing up EBA’s finale’s similarities with Okami’s (yes, really) I had an urge to play it again.

The fact that my DS went missing for a short period threatened to stymie this plan, but I eventually located it. It had somehow found its way into a cardboard box filled with discarded letters and things which had, subsequently, found itself under a chair. Exactly how this came to pass, I’m not sure, but it had certainly hidden itself well, making the ability to boot up EBA again a pleasurable experience.

So, why is this game so good?

Play mechanics

EBA is a fine example of the old mantra “easy to learn, difficult to master”. In terms of actually interacting with the game, all you have to do is tap on numbered circles on the DS’ touch screen in the correct order, in time with some ever-decreasing overlaid circles, preferably in time with the overlaid circle hitting the numbered circle. This, to help matters slightly, is in time with the music. Occasionally you have to drag the stylus along a pathway as well as tap, or frantically spin a big wheel around (producing, as does The World Ends With You, the dreaded “is he playing his DS or is he masturbating?” looks on the bus) – but aside from these three different moves, that’s it.

The challenge, of course, comes with the patterns in which these techniques are arranged. On the easiest difficulty level, you’re roughly tapping out the beat in quarter notes, occasionally with a few eighth notes thrown in later, but not that many. As the difficulty level cranks up, however, you find yourself tapping out “counter-rhythms” to what is already in the music, or drumming along with the rhythm section, or all manner of other things. Part of the challenge is in interpreting the on-screen patterns into physical movements and, subsequently, what they should sound like. By the time you reach the end of Hard mode and beat it, you’ll wonder how anyone could possibly move a stylus that quickly.

Music

It may sound pointless to mention this, but of course a rhythm action game is made or broken on the strength of its music. EBA has a selection of music that covers a pretty wide range of artists, and doesn’t limit itself to one genre. Okay, there’s quite a bit of guitar-based stuff, but at least there’s some variety within there, covering everything from Deep Purple to Avril Lavigne – and then besides that, there’s some interesting tracks that you wouldn’t necessarily expect to hear in a rhythm action game – Chicago’s “You’re the Inspiration” being one of them.

Addictiveness

EBA has the “addictiveness gene” down pat, and it achieves this in one very simple way – holding victory just tantalisingly out of reach, just ahead of where you are now. This is particularly apparent on the later levels of the hard difficulty, where you find yourself replaying songs over and over again, making a slight bit of progress each time. That slight bit of progress encourages you to try again, making you think that “next time might be the one”. Four hours later when you still haven’t finished the song and everyone around you never wants to hear “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” ever again, unlike many games, you don’t feel too bitter about the whole thing because you know for a fact that you’re slightly better than when you started.

This brings up an interesting point. I Tweeted the other day that shooters irritate me for forcing me to replay the same bits and hear the same dialogue over and over again if you fail – the example that sticks in my mind most of all is one section of Gears of War that came quite early on, and is the reason I gave up playing that game and swore never to touch it ever again. Entering a room, you are helpfully informed over the radio that there are “enemies everywhere” and that there’s a “sniper up above”. Every time you try it. And said sniper has a habit of killing you immediately. So you hear this A LOT.

So why doesn’t EBA irritate me in the same way? After all, hearing the same piece of music over and over again must grate. My theory is that because you’re constantly interacting with EBA during the piece of music, whereas in a shooter some dialogue tends to come in a bit of “downtime” – either running between locations or in a cutscene – you notice the repetition less.

Emotional impact

EBA is the last game I expected to have a genuine emotional impact on me when I played it, but it achieves it brilliantly – and it does this in several ways. Firstly, there’s the fact that the comic-strip “cutscenes” that precede each level are put together in such an entertaining way that, despite the fact you don’t get much time to get to know the characters, you really start to care about them. As a result of this, you feel that there’s a real sense of consequence if you fail. EBA is one of the few games I can think of where your failure actually causes other characters to cry – and I’m not talking some emo JRPG scene where a single tear falls from our normally stoic hero’s eye – I’m talking full-on inconsolable bawling their eyes out crying here. This makes you genuinely feel bad if you fuck up, and is another reason to try the stage again.

Secondly, the choice of music is just perfect for each stage. The best example I can think of, which had me wiping my eyes when I’d finished it, is the stage surrounding the little girl “Lucy”, whose father got into an accident and isn’t coming home. Lucy is convinced he’ll be back because he promised – and around the time of her father’s birthday, she urges her mother to “get the house ready for Daddy”. The emotion of this scene is clear from the opening of the preceding cutscene and continues throughout the course of the level, helped enormously by the choice of “You’re My Inspiration” as the music.

I was also interested to see EBA dealing with themes that you don’t often see dealt with – sure, dead parents are nothing new to, again, emo JRPG heroes, but to an innocent little girl?

OMG SPOILARZ

A proper finale

So many games fall at the last hurdle – the finale. Mess up the ending of your game and you’ll send people away with a distinctly bitter taste in their mouth. EBA successfully avoids this by using what may be something of a cliché amongst Japanese games – the entire cast of the game coming together behind you to “pray” to you and give you strength – but every time I see it, it works brilliantly. And to tie in with the emotional impact I mentioned above, when you finally do reach the end of that final song, the characters are in such a euphoric state that it would take a cold and harsh person to not feel exultant right there with them.

So there you have it. EBA is a masterpiece… in my opinion, at least.