2298: Holiday on Zack Island

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I wasn’t just trying Dead or Alive 5 Last Round out of the blue yesterday; I was inspired to finally pick it up after playing some Dead or Alive Xtreme 3, which I’ve been enjoying a great deal.

For those unfamiliar, the Dead or Alive Xtreme series has very little to do with the fighting game series Dead or Alive save for involving some of the same characters — specifically, kickboxer and playboy Zack, who owns the various tropical paradises the Xtreme games unfold on, and a selection of lovely ladies from the series indulging in various holiday-ish activities.

The first Dead or Alive Xtreme game — Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball, which many people thought might be a joke when it was first announced — was released on Xbox and largely focused, as you might expect, on playing volleyball, but there was a curious dating sim metagame attached, too, where you could give gifts to the various girls in the hope of getting them to partner up with you — you can’t play beach volleyball without a partner, after all.

Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 on Xbox 360 was a very similar game but had a couple of additions to the original formula. Most notably, it added jetski racing, which was a hell of a lot of fun, and provided a reliable means of making money for those who weren’t very good at volleyball or some of the smaller activities the game offered.

And so we come to Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 on PlayStation 4, which in many senses is a bit of a step backwards for the series in that it’s closer to the original game in structure, but manages to remain enjoyable regardless. I miss the jetskiing in particular, but I’m enjoying the volleyball and other activities, and the fact that the game is a lot less obtuse about things like what gifts the girls like, what is happening to your relationship levels and suchlike makes it a much more pleasant experience. Couple that with a simple mission and levelling system plus a “grade” given at the end of every 14-day virtual vacation, and despite being pared back in terms of content, Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 is, in many regards, the most well-structured game in the series.

The thing I like about Dead or Alive Xtreme — all of them, but most recently in particular — is that it’s just plain relaxing to play. Gentle, chilled out music plays in the background as you engage in various activities ranging from beach volleyball to rock climbing or a tug of war on floating platforms in the swimming pool. As day gives way to night, your chosen girl heads back to her hotel room and has the option to hang out in the casino and play roulette, blackjack or poker. Then the whole process repeats again.

The reason why it’s so relaxing is that it doesn’t put any particular pressure on you to play in a given way. “Mission” pop up every so often, either from the girl you’re controlling or Zack, and these provide rewards for the overall metagame, but they’re strictly optional. In the case of the girls’ missions, they can provide a good indicator of how well you’re doing on this playthrough, though — in order to get the best score at the end of her holiday, you need to have completed 7 of her specifically numbered missions, ending with “Satisfy [girl] by the end of the vacation”.

Aside from that, though, you can tackle the game how you see fit. You can focus on trying to get a complete collection of swimsuits for a favourite character. You can work on trying to satisfy as many of the girls on the island as possible in a single playthrough — pretty difficult when you first start playing, but as you level up their “excitement level” over time, it becomes easier. Or you can switch to “Owner Mode” and just use the game as an attractive software toy, allowing the computer to take control of your chosen girl in various activities while you play with the camera angles and take photographs.

Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 is notorious for not getting an official English localisation due to some controversy a while back. There is some debate over whether or not publisher Koei Tecmo really believed that the game would be subject to backlash from social justice types when it was released, but you can bet if the game did see an official Western release, we wouldn’t hear the end of it from the numerous holier-than-thou publications and writers on the market today.

The silly thing is, it’s not offensive in the slightest. It’s sexy, sure, but Dead or Alive has always featured spectacularly beautiful women, and this in itself isn’t offensive. Some of the swimsuits are quite revealing, and some of the minigames cause an entertaining “swimsuit malfunction” for the loser, though the suit in question doesn’t actually fall off or anything — it just comes untied and stays magically attached. In other words, there’s no nipples, no fannies, no bumholes, no fucking, no kissing and definitely no holding hands. It’s just an all-female cast hanging out on the beach, playing games and having fun rather than punching each other in the tits like they do in the mainline Dead or Alive games.

To put it another way, Dead or Alive Xtreme 3, like its predecessors, is a game that it’s just nice to play. It’s not a deep game, it’s not a complicated game (unless you want to optimise your playthrough strategies for the fastest progress) and it’s not a difficult game, but it is a game that it’s just thoroughly pleasant to spend time with, and I predict it’s one I’ll keep coming back to when I just want to chill out and enjoy myself without thinking too hard about anything.

The perfect virtual holiday, in other words.

2268: Baffling Descriptors

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I was explaining HunieCam Studio to a friend earlier, and it became apparent that the things I was saying about it were actually rather amusing.

It occurs to me that describing what you do in games in their most literal sense is actually quite entertaining, and a sobering reminder that our beloved hobby is filled with baffling and wonderful things.

With that in mind, here are a few paragraphs describing games I’ve played recently.

HunieCam Studio

In my second playthrough of this, I specialised my girls a bit more than I did in my first attempt. Because I had a few particularly troublesome drinkers and smokers, I hired Tiffany (cheap, doesn’t do either) to do nothing but run errands, which worked well, particularly if you give her a shopping basket to double the yield from the shops. Then I maxed out some girls and gave them the Subscribe pillows so they earned fans even while camming. My workforce was riddled with STDs, though, which made things a bit more challenging. Nikki caught AIDS on day 2.

Nights of Azure

I went down into the subways in search of the cat who had swallowed Lilysse’s ring back in the Old Count’s Garden. There was a black butterfly infestation at the Amusement Park Station, so a demon stood between me and my feline friend. I summoned my Servans and told Ace to make the demon bleed while I slashed away at it from behind. I was ultimately successful in my efforts, and the cat coughed up the ring, which Lilysse was relieved to see again.

Dungeon Travelers 2

My exploration through Eternal Hell looked like it was coming to a close, but suddenly I felt a strong presence from the other side of a door. Steeling my party for a tough fight, I stepped through and battled the enemy waiting for us. Predictably, after combat she lay there in a distinctly provocative pose making flirtatious remarks to Fried, who finally lost his patience, having put up with this sort of behaviour throughout his entire adventure, and told her to stop acting this way because it was making his party members think less of him. She obliged sulkily.

Grand Theft Auto Online

It looked like our prison break had been successful. The escapee was ready to flee the country in the plane we had provided for him, and all that was left was to parachute to safety while he flew off into the sunset. We leaped out of the plane and set our sites on the beach far below us. We were all ready to celebrate our victory over this, our toughest challenge to date, when suddenly: a distant explosion, then silence. Our comrade had crashed his helicopter, causing all our hard work to be for naught.

Dead or Alive Xtreme 3

I went rock climbing with Kasumi, then had a butt battle with Honoka at the pool. In the evening, we had a volleyball match against Nyotengu and Helena. Then I went to the casino, won a bit of money at blackjack and then lost it again at poker. Then Kasumi went to bed. The next morning I took some photographs of her and Honoka having a Pool Hopping race, then I bought Kasumi a new swimsuit which she felt indifferently towards. I gift-wrapped an ice-cream cone and gave it to Honoka and she seemed to like it a great deal. Then we had a tug of war on floating platforms on the pool, then it was time for bed again.