It was late, and dark, and cold. The air was thick with desire, and there was only one thing on his mind as he quietly descended the stairs in pursuit of the one thing he wanted. His bare feet made no noise as he descended the stairs towards the home of his heart’s desire.

He reached out and opened the door to the land of forbidden pleasures and shielded his eyes against the light. He gently took his love from her prison and laid her down softly, tenderly, waiting for him patiently.

Two sheets of white, laid flat on a porcelain bed. He softly greased them up until they were slick, and smooth. Then, he picked up his love and slowly undressed her, removing her clothing a little at a time until she stood naked, unashamed, in his hand, waiting to please him, to make him happy.

He took out his weapon of choice and plunged it deep into his love, sliding through her easily, then back out again. He tenderly peeled off the edge, then plunged deep into it again, harder this time, jerking back a little more suddenly than he intended. He pulled off another, thicker piece, and thrust in for one final time. Now, he knew, it was almost time to enjoy the fruits of his labours, to savour the pleasures that his love had been saving for him. His mouth began to water at the prospect.

He laid one of the sheets over the pieces of his love, and split her down the middle with his tool. Satisfied, he stood back for a moment to gaze at that which he had wrought. His mouth was full of saliva now, and he longed to take that which he desired firmly in his hand and feel her rich, pungent bounty enter his mouth and fill his senses with the pleasure he so longed for.

He could wait no longer. Grasping her firmly, he slowly raised her to his mouth and parted his lips just enough to allow his love to enter. He felt the familiar pleasurable sensations as he let just the tip slip into his mouth, and his tongue tasted his love’s familiar flavour. Desire overcame him quickly, and he bit down hard, sinking his teeth into his love, feeling her yield to his strength. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, enjoying every moment.

“Damn,” he thought, “I really love cheese sandwiches.”