Tag: ads

#oneaday Day 64: Alexa, Enshittify Yourself

I got an Echo Show at some point. I think it was a birthday or Christmas present. I don’t really know what it’s for. I don’t like voice-activated tech and I legitimately don’t understand how a device that says things out loud is better than one with a screen and keyboard for anyone except blind people.

I do know, however, that said Echo Show has been gradually and subtly making itself worse ever since I first turned it on, and it’s been sitting on my bedside table ever since, the world’s most technologically advanced bedside clock.

Since I actually quite like it as a bedside clock — it has an excellent light-responsive display so it doesn’t overwhelm you with glare in the dark — I turned most of its “helpful” features off. These features mostly came in the form of “Suggestions”, and I’m pretty sure I’ve previously covered why I detest “Suggestions” from tech.

However, one thing I’ve noticed is that not only does the device sneak in new Suggestions that have to be turned off separately on a fairly regular basis, it also turns things back on that I’ve previously turned off. This is annoying.

However, this evening its enshittification reached a whole new level: it started serving me ads. Yes, the clock display was interrupted by a “Sponsored” display inviting me to find out more about the Nissan Qashqai. I do not need a new car. I have given no indication that I need a new car. I have not spoken about getting a new car in earshot of Alexa. And I certainly didn’t turn on “Show Me Ads” anywhere in the device’s settings.

Hopefully you can turn them off, but I suspect you can’t. If it’s magically turned into a bedside ad-serving machine with no opt-out possible, I think it may finally get retired. And I’ll just buy a nice digital clock with a radio and an LED display, like I had 20 years ago.

Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.

#oneaday Day 647: Badvertising

There are some truly awful adverts on TV at the moment. The trouble is, I can name pretty much every one of them, meaning that this badvertising is actually proving effective, meaning that there’ll inevitably be more of it. Worse, people actually seem to actively like some of this stupid nonsense, meaning they go viral and enter culture at large.

Let’s take the Confused.com adverts. These have developed a life of their own over the years. Formerly, their crazy-haired mascot was just that — a mascot or, more accurately, a logo. Now, however, she’s jumping around, singing some butchered version of YMCA which has been badly edited so it doesn’t flow properly and, to make it even worse, the animators have actually taken the time to make her boobs jiggle.

The butchering of a popular song seems to be a much-used approach at the moment. DHL do it with their latest, which puts some nonsense about “logistics” (don’t even get me started on that one) in place of “That’s Amoré” or whatever the song is actually called. And there are doubtless others out there.

Then we have hair care and beauty products, which are in a whole world of their own. One commercial at the moment actually promises “even more science”. Others make up lists of “seven signs of aging” or “thirty-eight signs of damaged hair” or “twelve signs your vagina is about to fall out”. For example.

One of the best-worst adverts at the moment is for Müller yogurts. It’s an impressive homage to kids’ TV of the past, featuring characters like Yogi Bear and the Mr Men in some sort of terrifying dystopian future where cartoon characters are possessing humanity, but it has absolutely nothing to do with yogurt. You can guarantee it will have been a subject of discussion at water coolers across the country, but will it sell yogurts? I have no idea.

By far the most infuriating place to watch ads is on YouTube, which appears to carry a library of approximately two ads at any one time and play the same ones every time you want to watch a TV programme, then again halfway through. Thankfully, recently, a bug in the system means that they often cut off early, leading to some interesting edits — the best of which is clearly the Coors advert, which opens with Jean Claude van Damme saying “Hello, I am van Damme. My pants froze,” and often cuts off at just that point.

Advertising serves a purpose, of course. Without it some things wouldn’t get funded. But does it have to be quite so fucking irritating?