2053: Back to Work

I had my first “proper” day at a new (part-time, seasonal, temporary) retail job today. While I’ve been earning a bit of money through some freelance work recently, it hasn’t really been “stable” enough to provide predictable income, so I had been looking around for other opportunities for a while. One such opportunity presented itself, and while it wasn’t what I’d maybe call my ideal job — minimum wage, part-time, seasonal, temporary — it is at least both relevant to my skills and interests.

I’ve worked retail before and was surprised at both how much I actually quite enjoyed it and the fact I seemingly had a reasonably natural “talent” for it. While I talk a lot about my social anxiety and shyness, this largely relates to being stuck in a “small talk” situation with someone else; when I’m given something clear and structured to talk to people about — such as selling them something — I generally have no problems with communicating, and I like to think I come across as personable and friendly. So far my experiences with returning to the retail environment after a few years away have backed that up.

Among other things, it’s quite nice to have a reason to get out of the house for a few hours. Working from home, as I’ve mentioned before, sounds like a dream come true, but in reality it’s a fairly miserable and lonely existence a lot of the time, particularly if you find yourself going through something of a dry spell with assignments. Sure, you can talk to people on the Internet, but it’s not quite the same as being surrounded by actual real living and breathing people you can look in the eye and hear the voices of. Despite everything I may have indicated to the contrary here on these very pages, I do actually quite like having company sometimes, particularly if they’re people I get along with and enjoy spending time with. And while it’s much too early to determine whether or not I’ll truly consider the people I’m working alongside to be “friends” — to be honest, after a few previous negative experiences with what I thought were workplace “friendships”, I’m very much inclined to keep everyone somewhat at arm’s length rather than getting too chummy — I certainly haven’t found myself walking out of the door thinking “what a tosser” about anyone, which is a pleasant position to be in.

When I was younger, I always wondered if I’d “make something” of myself and have an exciting, high-powered job with lots of responsibility or whatever. To be honest, as I get older I’m just content with something I can get on with and not be bothered too much. I’m not going to rule out the possibility of developing a career from this position if the opportunity presents itself once the “seasonal” season is over, but for now I’m just happy to have a bit of semi-predictable money rolling in alongside the more erratic income from freelancing.

I would like to find myself in a position where I can just get on with life without having to wonder if I’m doing enough to “get by”. For a while last year — and on a number of previous occasions — I thought I’d found that, but unfortunately that wasn’t to be. I have low expectations this time around; hopefully that means I won’t be disappointed, regardless of whatever ends up happening in the long term. In the short term, meanwhile, this will at least help me to survive, which is, to be honest, all I’m really concerned with for the moment.