It is, as they say, a Difficult Time in my life, as regular readers will know. I also find it somewhat unfortunate that said Difficult Time in my life is coming, as with the previous Difficult Time back in 2010, shortly prior to my heading off to something that should be fun, exciting and pure escapism: my trip to Boston for PAX East. (I hasten to add that this Difficult Time is for different reasons to the 2010 Difficult Time, thankfully; I’m not sure I could go through another 2010.)
But, as difficult as it is to stay positive sometimes — and believe me, it is extremely difficult to stay positive right now — I need to focus on the things that I’m doing that are worthwhile, and that could potentially (hopefully!) lead to future happiness.
I have a real piano in my own house for the first time since I left home, for one thing. That’s pretty cool, and as I suspected I vastly prefer playing it to my electric piano. The electric, though awesome and great-sounding, simply doesn’t “feel” right thanks to being on a somewhat wobbly keyboard stand, and the sound of it coming out of an amplifier isn’t the same as the real thing at all.
Said piano is hopefully going to be the centrepiece of at least some of my future work, and I’m making all the efforts possible to make the music teaching happen. I’m getting business cards printed, I have a listing on one of the biggest online music teacher directories in the country, I have my own website and, once the business cards arrive, I’ll be giving them out to local music shops and other establishments in the hope of drumming up some business.
I’m also going to be doing some work for the local Music Service. I only have a couple of hours of this secured so far, but hopefully that will lead to more regular future things. While a couple of hours certainly isn’t going to pay the bills, it’s a foot in the door, which is good.
Then there’s a few writing-related possibilities in the pipeline. I don’t know if any of these will come to anything just yet, but hopefully they will.
And then there’s a few other potential means of making some money out there, too, all of which I’m exploring in the hope of finding something that will allow me to support myself and remain at least reasonably happy for some of the time. In practical, realistic terms, it’s probably more likely I will end up mixing and matching lots of different things, which maybe isn’t ideal from a “stability” perspective, but will certainly keep things interesting and exciting — and more importantly, allow me to work on my own terms, which is something that I’ve come to crave.
I am trying to remain positive. I really am. There are good days, and there are bad days, and there are days that are sort of in the middle that can go either way. Today has been one of the latter kinds; let’s hope tomorrow is a good day. Only one way to find out though, huh.
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It’s an opinion that I’ve always gotten quite a bit of guff for holding (being an American and all), but I find that there’s alot of conventional wisdom about work and man’s relationship to it in the Communist Manifesto. Of course the document is a bit of rubbish when you take it as prescription for a functional state as so many kooks have done over the years, but when you read it as a philosophical text, there’s quite a bit of food for though regarding what we “do for a living” and how it affects or satisfaction with life overall.
There’s a particular segment that has surfaced in my mind quite a bit over the past few days as you’ve talked to me about all the different irons you have in the fire right now in pursuit of work that’s actually meaningful to you. I don’t have a copy near at hand, so you’ll have to excuse the paraphrasing, but there’s a portion wherein Marx is discussing what he believes to be the ideal work situation for a person to be happy. #1 on the list is obviously working for yourself. If your efforts make money for anyone but yourself, there will always be a disconnect between your labor and your livelihood – and you’ll never be satisfied. This is definitely the direction you’re moving in.
#2 on the list, and the item that I find most fascinating is living a lifestyle that allows for variety in your work. If I may blaspheme by modifying a classic sci-fi maxim – even moreso than fear, boredom is “the mind killer.” Marx understood this. He writes about an dream life wherein a man can ply multiple trades on different days and make a good living at it. Fishing one day, carpentry the next, etc. If you’re gifted with multiple skills, why nurture one and leave the others to languish? Your current efforts keep reminding me of this scenario, which is why I’ve been so positive in my outlook for you. It’s true that pursuing music teaching here, and writing there will likely lead to busy days and a bit of chaos – but you’ll be so satisfied. It’s a rare gift in this day-and-age for a man to be able to work on his own terms, and nurture multiple skills that are important to him. I see less “Trying Times” in your future. 🙂