1480: Before the End of After Story

Looking back over these entries, I can see that I started watching the Clannad anime quite some time ago, and still haven’t quite finished it. I’m closing in on the end, though, but it’s tough going. Really tough going.

In short, its reputation as “the crying anime” is pretty well-deserved, given that the last three episodes have all, well, you know. Let’s just say that watching them first thing in the morning while trying to get fired up to do some work perhaps wasn’t the best idea.

This isn’t a bad thing, of course, and one of the things I’ve come to particularly like about Clannad is that, despite its reputation, it’s not overtly emotionally manipulative. There’s a lot of filling in the blanks yourself, a lot of figuring things out — and that moment when you come to a realisation yourself is what hits the hardest. Certain things aren’t made at all explicit, leaving you to come to your own conclusions about what happened. Said conclusions may not be particularly difficult to come to — I’m trying to remain spoiler-free here for the sake of those who haven’t seen it — but still, somehow, you’re left with a few questions as to whether or not you’re really right. After one episode I watched, I simply couldn’t go back to it for a couple of days because the possibility of something awful having happened that I wasn’t sure I’d reached the correct conclusion about was something I couldn’t quite deal with at the time. Eventually I found the courage, though; like any tragedy, you have to face up to things sooner or later.

Part of this vaguely ambiguous feeling about it stems from the faintly otherworldly, dream-like atmosphere it has. I commented back when I was watching the first series that there was something of an air of melancholy flowing through the backdrop of even the most joyful scenes, and this continues during the After Story second arc. After Story also contains more in the way of outright tragedy, but the obviously bad things happening aren’t necessarily the most affecting moments — it’s the consequences that sometimes come two or three episodes later that hit the hardest.

Similarly, After Story continues the seemingly unrelated parallel storyline that appears to have nothing to do with the main narrative, but which occasionally kind-of-sort-of-possibly-maybe? reflects what’s been happening in terms of tone and overall feeling. Having not yet watched until the very end of the whole series, I can’t yet tell if this is wrapped into the overall narrative in a specific way, or whether it remains as it was left at the end of the first series — as a story one of the characters ends up telling — but it’s certainly something that regularly gives you food for thought throughout the entire run.

I’m appreciating it because I find the protagonist Okazaki quite relatable, too. He’s a young man (I know I’m not quite so young as I used to be, but humour me) who appears to have a certain degree of difficulty showing outward signs of emotion, but who occasionally explodes with pent-up feelings that simply can’t be held in any longer. To those not familiar with him, he might seem cold or morose, but the complete run of Clannad reveals him to be a sympathetic character who quietly deals with his own turmoil as best as he can while trying not to bother other people with the things that are on his mind. Despite this, he’s a passionate, caring person who tries to do the right thing and gets frustrated when the injustices of the world conspire to prevent him from doing just that. He’s humble and realistic; he doesn’t get ideas above his station, but he wants to try and do what he can for the people who love him.

I’m intrigued to see how it all ends. I have about five or six more episodes left, I think, and things are starting to tie themselves up towards a conclusion. I have literally no idea how it will actually finish right now, though I’m sure there will be more tears before the final credits roll.