#oneaday, Day 231: You Look Nice

Perhaps this is a “classic British reserve” thing. Or perhaps it’s just me. Either way, it’s weird.

Paying someone a compliment is difficult. It shouldn’t be. Because saying something nice about someone which is something which should get a universally positive response. Compliment someone’s choice of clothing and you are, by extension, complimenting their taste, their eye for choosing things that suit them and possibly even their financial situation. Compliment someone’s hairstyle and again, you’re paying them attention, giving them reassurance that the choices they made were the right ones and that yes, it looks good. Compliment something that someone’s done and they should be happy that they did a good job not only in their own eyes, but in other people’s, too.

So why is it so difficult to do sometimes? I think the picture above may have something to do with it. At least, within that strange and muddled place called my brain. Perhaps other people think this too. Or perhaps I’m just the freak here and should start being nicer to others!

It’s assumptions. Thoughts about what might happen next. What the result of said compliment might be. If I pay an attractive girl a compliment, is she going to immediately assume I fancy her and thus be put off talking to me ever again in case I try any sort of lecherous advances? If I pay a guy a compliment, is it a bit gay? Is he going to want to punch me in the face for being a “fahkin’ queer”?

Of course, most of these are moot points since I don’t exactly make a point of talking to strangers at the best of times. And if a stranger talks to me in the street, it’s usually to either 1) ask directions (it’s that way), 2) ask for a light (I don’t smoke) or 3) do this (fuck you).

But still. I feel the world would be a much nicer place if people felt that they could be at least civil to one another. As it is, here in Southampton, there’s a fairly constant air of insularity and borderline aggression at times. Perhaps it’s the nature of the populace here and if you went somewhere else it would be completely different.

In fact, I know that’s the case. After point 3) above happened to me once again the other day, I tweeted about it and several other people chipped in with their experiences. Some towns are definitely more prone to it than others. And it doesn’t appear to happen in the US anywhere near as much as it does here.

So why should that be? We British are supposed to be renowned for our reserve, politeness and general meekness. At what point did it become all right to insult people, and not all right to pay someone a compliment?

Perhaps I’m overthinking this.

I like your shirt/necklace/hair/tits.