1597: Mario Kart 8 is Fucking Great

(Hey, that rhymes. It’s like it was meant to be.)

So, yes, Mario Kart 8 is, as the title says, fucking great. And it’s a surprisingly complete-feeling package this time around, too; past installments of the series have typically not been anywhere near as interesting if you’re sitting around by yourself, but the excellent online mode in Mario Kart 8 means that there’s always some interesting, enjoyable competition to be had even if you don’t have anyone to play with in the same room as you.

As ever, though, it’s when you have people over to play that the game absolutely shines. I bought it primarily with the intention of this evening happening — my regular board gaming friends came over, we ate curry and then played Mario Kart 8 instead of something tabletop. And it was fab.

The thing that has always been good about multiplayer Mario Kart is also the thing that frustrates people the most — the fact it can all turn at a moment’s notice. One minute you’ll be happily driving along in first place, not a care in the world, and the next you’ll be pelted by blue, red and green shells, knocked back into the middle of the pack as you friends whizz by you, giggling.

This is, of course, infuriating when it happens to you, but with the nicely tuned balance of Mario Kart you’ll have the chance to get your revenge before very long. The further down the pack you are, the nastier the items you get are, so unless you were knocked out of the running moments from the finish line — which isn’t beyond the realm of possibility — there’s always a chance to claw your way back to a respectable position.

Ultimately, the nice thing is that it doesn’t matter all that much because it’s simply fun to play. The simple controls and well-tuned difficulty level mean that anyone can pick it up and have a go, while the myriad shortcuts and special techniques mean that those who want to take their game to the next level can do so. Just remember, though, getting out in front effectively paints a big target on your back, so don’t be surprised when the dreaded blue shell comes a-knockin’.

I could tell that the game was well-received by my friends from the amount of foul language it was producing. I find it remarkable that Nintendo’s family-friendly games provoke more bitching, swearing and cursing than pretty much any other game I know. Even our go-to multiplayer titles like Super Street Fighter IV and TrackMania don’t make us yell and curse like we were during our Mario Kart session this evening, and the cursing grew in volume and intensity as we worked our way through the eight cups. Eventually, my friend James was reduced to a gibbering wreck, no longer using words and simply making what he apparently believed to be insulting noises, having previously passed through stuttering, peculiar insults (“W-wank yourself!”) and some frankly unprintable utterances that would probably get certain quarters of the Internet angry at me (or James) were I to repost them here.

Anyway. That’s that. I hope there will be more Mario Kart 8 in my future, because that was one hell of a lot of fun. Nintendo very much still has the magic.