1395: Part 12

It was Friday again; the end of another week.

Sian was exhausted; she hadn’t got much sleep the previous night. She didn’t blame Kristina — it was her own fault that she couldn’t “let go” after hearing something worrying like what her teacher had told her — but she did wish that she could have just stayed at home today.

Still, she thought. It’s almost the weekend. Time for a well-earned break.

The morning seemed to pass by in something of a haze. Sian was pretty sure she’d been to all her lessons and had participated as much as she always did, but by the time lunchtime rolled around she was struggling to recall anything she’d learned today.

She took a bite out of one of her sandwiches and chewed thoughtfully.

“So are you going to tell us what’s up, Sianie?” said Jasmine. Sian gave a start; in her tired delirium, she’d all but forgotten her friends were there.

“Nothing,” she said absently. “Just tired.”

“What were you up to?” said Nicola, a mocking, cheeky tone in her voice. “You got some fella on the side?

“No,” said Sian, not rising to the bait more because she’d barely noticed Nicola’s tone than anything else. “Nothing like that.”

“Then what?” said Jasmine. “Come on, Sianie, we’re worried.” She sounded a lot more serious than her usual light-hearted self.

“Nothing,” she repeated, a little more forcefully. The persistent questions were starting to bring her out of her reverie, and she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to come back from wherever she was just yet. Although part of her was worrying that she wasn’t taking anything in and was feeling very detached, another part of herself was enjoying the relative peace and quiet in this happy place.

“Okay, okay,” said Jasmine, standing up. “Come on, Nic.”

“What? Where?” said Nicola, confused.

“I don’t think Sianie wants us around right now,” said Jasmine. “Let’s leave her to it.”

“See you later,” said Sian.

She put her sandwich down and sighed, then looked around herself. Everyone around her seemed to be laughing, joking and having a good time, but she suddenly felt very lonely, and she’d just driven her friends away.

“Stupid,” she muttered to herself. She didn’t feel hungry any more, so she stuffed the remains of her sandwich back into her lunch bag, stood up and headed for Kristina’s classroom in the hope of finding some company.

When she arrived, she tapped on the door, then pushed it without waiting for a response. Kristina was sitting at her desk, which was still covered with piles of paper. She didn’t appear to be doing much.

“Hey,” said Sian, tentatively stepping into the room. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m all right,” said Kristina, coming to life and facing her student. “I’m… actually, no, I’m not great. Didn’t get all that much sleep tonight, so I apologise in advance if this afternoon’s lesson is rubbish.”

“Join the club,” said Sian with a gentle laugh. “I didn’t sleep much either.”

“Oh,” said Kristina, a frown appearing on her face. “I’m sorry. Was that my fault? Did I worry you?”

“Well,” said Sian, hesitating for a moment. “Yes, you worried me. But no, it’s fine. I’m glad you felt you could tell me those things. And I’m sorry you were worried about your friend. Have you heard from her?”

“I got a text from her earlier,” said Kristina. “She said that everything was fine and that everything went well, but I’m not sure I believe her.”

“Why’s that?” asked Sian.

“I know her,” said Kristina. “She went from being so freaked out that she couldn’t go into work to being absolutely fine with everything in the space of a day. She doesn’t do that. She holds grudges and takes ages to come around to people she thinks have wronged her. I mean, she’s liked this guy for ages, but still. That’s no excuse, is it?”

“Don’t they say love is blind or something?” said Sian with a slight laugh. She didn’t know if the humour was appropriate. “I can’t speak for her, but I’ve known people go out with boys who are just plain bad for them.”

“Well, no offence, Sian, but my friend’s a lot older than your friends,” said Kristina. “I’d like to think Max is a bit more mature than some teenage girls, present company excepted.”

“You might be right,” said Sian. “You should talk to her about it, though.”

“I’ll try,” said Kristina. “Now you should get along. It’s registration in a minute. I’ll see you later this afternoon.”

“All right,” said Sian.

 

*  *  *  *

Registration came and went, and before long Sian was back in the music classroom. She was the first there, but it wasn’t long before her classmates — including Edward, again accompanied by a teaching assistant — were sitting down and ready to go.

Today was composition day. Sian enjoyed the process of putting together her own music, but knew that some of her peers struggled with the creative aspect. It was something she’d always found very natural, though she felt extremely self-conscious about sharing the things she’d come up with. She’d always got good marks for her composition assignments, so she knew that she didn’t really have anything to worry about in terms of her abilities; it was more that letting other people hear her compositions felt like she was making herself very vulnerable and putting herself on display. It was an uncomfortable process for her, but to date she’d always been supported and encouraged by friends, peers and teachers alike.

The class was already halfway through an assignment, and Sian was almost finished. Once Kristina finished her initial lecture and sent everyone off to get on with their work, Sian did not dart into her usual practice room; instead, she gravitated towards Edward.

“Hey,” she said softly.

He was staring at the wall, his jaw set and his face scrunched up into a frown. He grunted in acknowledgement.

“Are you all right?” she said.

“Edward,” said the teaching assistant. “Be polite.”

“Yeah,” he said, turning to her. He looked miserable. “I’m all right. Why?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted a bit of help,” said Sian. “You missed a bunch of lessons, so I thought you might want a hand.”

There was a pause. In the distance, Sian could hear her electric guitar-wielding classmates warming up.

“Okay,” he said.

Sian raised her eyebrows and smiled a little. She turned to look over at Kristina, who was sorting through some of the papers on her desk.

“All right,” said Sian. “Have you got anything at all yet?”

“No,” he said. “And Miss wouldn’t help me.” He paused. “I don’t blame her.”

“Oh, now come on,” said Sian. “I’m sure she’ll help you if we ask nicely.”

“Go on,” said the teaching assistant.

After a moment’s consideration, Edward stood up. Sian led him over towards Kristina, who looked up at the pair of them in surprise, then immediately looked uneasy at how close Edward was.

“Miss,” he said.

“Yes, Edward?” replied Kristina. Sian could tell she was uneasy, but she said nothing.

“I’m… sorry about the other day,” he said. Sian’s eyes widened, and Kristina’s eyebrows raised. “I just sort of lost control. I’m sorry.”

“That’s… okay, Edward,” said Kristina. “Just try not to let it happen again.”

“Edward was hoping he could get some help with his composition,” said Sian. “I said I’d give him a hand, too, as I’m nearly done with mine.”

“That’s great,” said Kristina. She looked like she was loosening up a bit. “Okay, Edward. The first thing we need to do, then, is figure out what you want to compose for.”

*  *  *  *

Sian was pleasantly surprised to discover that Edward actually took quite well to composition. Due to his relative lack of instrumental skills, Kristina had suggested he try using the computer to make a piece of electronic music. She had several pieces of software installed specifically designed to allow users to arrange samples in sequence and produce convincing-sounding dance music, and Edward seemed interested enough to try them.

Edward offered the headphones to Sian, so she put them on and he clicked the “Play” button. Instantly her ears were filled with a thumping beat and throbbing bassline; the two complemented each other well, and Edward had taken care to ensure that they synced up nicely with one another. He had a good ear for rhythm, it seemed, though the layers of synthesiser he was just starting to put on top of the basic beat were rather too loud.

“That’s really cool,” said Sian, and she meant it. She knew that the music composition program essentially involved using musical “building blocks” rather than composing things from scratch, but even so, for someone with relatively little musical ability like Edward to come up with a convincing-sounding dance beat and bassline was impressive to her.

Kristina came over to see how they were getting on.

“How’s it going?” she asked. Sian offered her the headphones without saying a word, and Edward clicked the “play” button. When the piece had run its course, she smiled at Edward.

“Great job, Edward!” she said. “I think we’ve found your calling.”

Sian looked at Edward and smiled, too. Then, something unexpected happened: he smiled, too.

*  *  *  *

“Thanks,” said Edward as he walked out of the classroom with Sian. “I actually had a good time today.”

“I’m glad,” said Sian. “Music is great. It’s a really good way to express yourself.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I liked that music program. It was fun.”

“It looked it,” said Sian, laughing. “I’m a bit jealous, actually.”

The conversation died for a moment as the two walked to the front door of the school.

“Hey, um,” said Edward. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” said Sian.

“Would you mind walking with me to my house?” he asked. “Sorry, it’s stupid, I know. But it’s not far.”

Sian paused for a moment. She wasn’t sure where he was going with this. Then she decided.

“Sure,” she said.

I seem to be getting through to him, she thought. Perhaps I can help him, and then that’s one less worry for Kristina, too.

At the back of her mind was the knowledge that he had been known to snap at any moment, but ever since she had started talking to him he’d been a lot calmer than she’d ever seen him.

Edward, it turned out, was speaking the truth; his house was no more than five minutes’ walk away from the school. It was an unassuming-looking terraced house with a slightly unkempt front garden and a rusty iron gate. Edward pushed it open and pulled his keys out of his pocket before opening the door. He turned back to Sian.

“Do you want to come in and grab a drink?” he asked. “I’m not going to do anything weird, I promise.”

Sian smiled. He’d read her mind, much as she felt ashamed to admit it.

“All right,” she said.

The hallway of Edward’s house was dark and smelled a little musty, but he flicked a light on and it was soon illuminated with warm orange light from a bare bulb hanging from the high ceiling. He pushed the front door closed and led her into the kitchen, which was at the back of the house.

“Orange juice?” he asked, opening a cupboard and pulling out two glasses.

“Sure,” said Sian. She looked around, trying to figure out what sort of family lived here — and what sort of family could have produced someone like Edward.

The kitchen was in reasonable condition, but there was a significant pile of washing-up in the sink and the bin was full. The light in the kitchen was similarly without a lampshade, and Sian noticed that there were numerous discarded bottle tops on the kitchen table, though from what she couldn’t tell.

“There,” he said, thrusting the glass towards her.

“Thanks,” she said, taking a sip. It was the cheap orange juice that you could buy in bundles of six cartons at once, but at least it was cold and refreshing — plus the fact that it was clearly a few days old gave it an invigorating “zing” to it.

She drained her glass and put it on the kitchen table.

Suddenly, there was the sound of keys in the front door. Edward’s expression immediately changed.

“Oh fuck,” he said. “You’ve got to get out of here.”

“What?” she asked, confused.

“Go on!” he said. “Go!” He unlocked the back door, which led from the kitchen into the overgrown back garden, and pushed Sian out of it, slamming it shut the second she was outside.

Sian dusted herself off and looked back, but got the sudden sense she shouldn’t stick around here. Taking care not to make herself visible to the kitchen windows, she crept through the garden, looked around, found the back gate and slipped out into the alleyway that led back to the street.

As she closed the gate behind her, she heard yelling and what sounded like a glass breaking coming from the house. What was going on in there?