1041: Chapter 24

I glanced at the clock radio just as the digits ticked over from 2:29 to 2:30 a.m. I knew I should probably get back to sleep, but I was far too awake and alert right now for that — I was in full-on “fight or flight” mode, and lying down while I was in this state would doubtless just lead to a panic attack and a completely sleepless night. Best that I tried to calm myself down rather than making things difficult for myself.

Suddenly, a piercing sound from the other side of the room. It took me a moment to identify it as the ringtone of my phone which, as usual, I’d put out of reach so I’d have to get up and turn it off in the morning. I jumped to my feet and dove for the phone. The sound was shattering the silence of my room, just as I was getting used to it, and I wanted it to go away.

I didn’t recognise the number that was coming up on the screen. I didn’t want to answer, but I figured if someone was calling at this hour it was probably important. So, with some trepidation, I tapped the option on the screen to answer the call.

“Hello?” I said in a cracked voice.

“I’m sorry to disturb you so late,” came a voice on the other end of the phone. I didn’t recognise it. It was speaking urgently. “But I’m afraid I have something that you need to hear right now.”

My pulse quickened further. I could feel my chest pounding.

“What is it?” I said breathlessly. I felt like I had just run a marathon.

“There’s been an accident,” said the voice. “Involving your family. We need you to–”

*

I woke up suddenly, sweating profusely. It wasn’t the first time I’d remembered that time in my dreams, but this felt by far the most vivid. It felt like I was there again, experiencing those terrible feelings once more. But as always happened, I woke up before the conclusion. The memories of what happened after the part I had just dreamed were vague and fuzzy; why couldn’t I remember them clearly?

I sat up and threw the covers off me. I was feeling hot, and my body was covered with sweat. I glanced at the clock radio and was not surprised to see that it was, of course, 2:30 in the morning.

Alice was already here now, though, so I didn’t need to creep into her room or do anything weird with… “gates” or anything like that. Right?

I felt uneasy. Something didn’t feel quite right.

I got up.

It was too quiet. This really didn’t feel right. I walked out into the hallway and headed for Alice’s room — she’d taken up residence in there, for now, as it made sense. I had no idea where Aril was sleeping, or even if he needed sleep, and I didn’t ask.

I put my hand on the doorknob and paused for a moment. I felt uneasy. I shook it off, turned the knob and opened the door. I looked in.

The bed was empty.

My blood ran cold. I froze on the spot. My heart felt like it had stopped.

I don’t know how long I stood there, staring at the empty, made-up bed. But it must have been a while.

What had happened? Had she been… taken back? Had she–

“What are you doing?” came a voice behind me. I let out a shout and fell to my knees. “Jesus! What’s the matter?”

“I thought you’d gone,” I whispered breathlessly. “I really thought you’d gone. That you’d been taken from me. That you were gone.”

I could barely breathe. My heart was beating fast. I was in a panic.

I felt Alice’s hand on my shoulder.

“Relax. It’s okay. I’m here.”

I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. I felt her hand squeeze my shoulder, and I heard her kneel down behind me. I felt her arms wrap around my neck from behind, and her head rest on my shoulder.

“It’s okay,” she said again. “Breathe.”

*

I don’t remember going back to bed, but when I woke up, the sunlight was coming in through the window. I heard a gentle tapping on my door, and knew it was Alice.

“Hey,” she said. “You awake?”

“Yeah,” I grunted. I sat up. I could smell myself; the stale stench of sweat. It wasn’t pleasant.

“I’m going to make some breakfast,” she said. “You want some?”

“Sure,” I said.

I heard her footsteps walk away. I got up and went into the bathroom for a shower. I felt somewhat refreshed when I stepped out, and by the time I’d pulled some clothes on I could smell the waft of bacon coming up the stairs. I followed it to discover Alice waiting for me with a bacon sandwich for each of us. I gratefully received it, and ate it in just a few bites. It was delicious.

“Thanks,” I said.

“You’re welcome,” she said. “You better hurry, or you’ll be late. I’ll be all right here. Aril should be back soon.”

I looked up at the clock. She was right. I said my goodbyes and headed out the door.

*

When I arrived at college, I found Laura waiting for me.

“So,” she said, a grim look on her face. “You want to let me in on what’s going on?”

“I’m not sure what there is to say,” I said. “You obviously know that Alice is here, and…” I trailed off.

“What about the club?” she said. “What did you write for them?”

“Just… a piece of creative writing,” I said. “Nothing special. They said they’d publish it.”

She was making me feel uneasy. I couldn’t quite pin down why. When had my feelings toward her changed so much?

And when had her feelings changed?

She was looking at me with a sour expression, and it wasn’t the usual one she used to mock me. She looked genuinely annoyed. I felt a bit guilty.

“Hey,” I said, trying to soften my tone and stop this turning into a confrontation. “I’m sorry I’ve been a bit weird recently. It’s just… you know. Been a lot to deal with.”

Her mouth was still turned down, but her eyes seemed to soften a bit. She sighed.

“Oh, it’s all right,” she said. “Just don’t leave me out of the loop, you know? I worry about you. And… do you remember what I told you?”

I felt further pangs of guilt. I’d been leaving her by herself, after she’d opened her heart and told me she felt lonely.

“Yes,” I said. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

“All right,” she said, smiling for the first time. “Let’s do something, then. Come on, we’ll blow off classes today and go do something fun.”

I hesitated. We were already here. Surely someone had seen us? I looked around. No-one seemed to be paying any attention to either one of us. The invisible twosome.

Laura looked at me expectantly.

“All right,” I said. “What do you want to do?”

“Well,” she said, “let’s make it like a date, huh? How about we go catch a movie, grab some food, maybe do something else fun? My treat.”

She seemed eager. Something made me feel a little uneasy about her eagerness, but my guilt overrode those feelings and made me go along with her. I found myself nodding enthusiastically before I was sure what I was doing.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me along. We hastily left the building, got into her car and headed for town.

The first stop was the cinema. I didn’t recognise any of the films that were on, so I let Laura pick. Before long, we were sitting in the dark next to each other, with a big tub of popcorn and a large drink between us. We were the only ones in there. Laura started stuffing kernels of popcorn into her mouth one after another like an assembly line. I took one and chewed on it for a little while as I watched the adverts go around and around.

Eventually, the lights dimmed completely, and the trailers started. I remembered why I didn’t pay much attention to movies, even despite the fact we’d only been to one recently. All of them seemed so loud, so in your face, so… chaotic. That was part of the thing with trailers, of course. They had to make the movies they were for seem exciting. They had to–

Suddenly my view was blocked by Laura’s face, and I became aware that she was straddling me. I felt strange, and afraid. I still remembered the last time something had seemingly happened with Laura, and how she had reacted when I had said something about it.

“Come on,” she whispered to me. “I know you’ve been thinking about it.”

I looked at her. I knew that the fear was probably showing in my eyes.

“I know I was a bit weird when you had that… fantasy, delusion, whatever it was,” she said, leaning forward and kissing me on the side of my neck. It felt like electricity was shooting through my veins. “But, you know, I’ve been thinking about it, and… well…”

She shifted her body weight forward and started to grind herself against me. It was incredibly erotic, but I was still rooted to the spot. The only part of me that was moving was–

“Gosh,” she said, reaching her hand forward and touching it. “You have been thinking about it. Dirty boy.”

She moved again, and it started to feel good, but I still felt uncomfortable. What was I supposed to do here? I sort of wanted to do things back to her, but at the same time, I was afraid the same thing as last time would happen.

“Come on,” she whispered at me, leaning in and nibbling on my earlobe. “Come on. Come on.”

I blacked out. Or at least, I stopped being aware of everything around me. I couldn’t see the screen, I couldn’t hear the sound, I couldn’t see Laura in front of me, close enough to kiss.

I wasn’t aware of my own body.

I’d been here before. Complete darkness. The total absence of anything. Where was this? Was it anywhere? Had I passed through a “gate” without realising it? No, it couldn’t be that; passing into that strange darkness last time had needed Aril’s help.

I was all alone. I tried to move, but the total absence of anything around me — even light or air — made it difficult to judge whether or not I was actually doing anything.

I found myself missing them. All of them.

I missed Alice’s confidence, ability to make things seem simple, and assertiveness.

I missed Aril’s calmness and rationality.

And I missed Laura’s loyalty, unpredictability and sense of… chaos.

Chaos?

No, it couldn’t be. Laura was…

I found myself trying to remember again. Where had Laura come from? Why were we friends? How had we met?

The thoughts flitted away from me as I tried to grasp onto them, and I became aware of a presence. A horrible, menacing presence that made what I assumed was still my skin crawl. A feeling of darkness, a feeling that anything could happen at any time, a feeling of…

Yes. Chaos.

“I see you’re beginning to understand,” came a booming voice that seemed to reverberate through my entire skull.

“Yes,” I said, picturing how Alice would respond to this situation. “I am starting to see the truth.”

“Then you probably want this to end,” said the voice. It sounded amused.

I pictured Aril’s face and responded calmly and rationally. “It will end when the time is right,” I said. “And the time isn’t right yet. Not all the pieces are in place.”

“Very good!” said the voice with a somewhat condescending tone. “The time is drawing near. You know this, of course. You will have a choice to make. And you will have to–”

Laura’s face flashed into my mind, and I suddenly leapt with cat-like agility at where I thought the voice was coming from, my fist outstretched. I didn’t feel it hit anything, but I knew that it had passed through… something.

The voice chuckled.

“Yes,” it said. “Yes! This is good.”

The world suddenly came back into focus, and I was sitting on the side of my bed, awake and fully dressed.

What had just happened?