Laura stayed for the whole day, and we came up with a plan. I wasn’t sure I liked it, but if nothing else it would help both of us to work out what was going on.
We — well, she, mostly — decided that she should stay over and keep an eye on me. If something weird happened, I said I’d tell her, and she’d tell me if she could see anything. If nothing else, it would help to establish if I was really seeing Alice, or if I was just going a bit weird in the head. I didn’t really want to think about what it meant if she didn’t see anything when I did, but at least it would be proof that this was maybe something I couldn’t handle on my own.
But then what if she did see something? What would that mean then?
These questions swam around inside my head as I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. I heard Laura rustling in the sleeping bag on the floor. She said she’d try and stay awake, but she already sounded like she was getting comfortable.
Within a few minutes, her breathing became soft and regular, and it was clear that she was asleep.
I smiled bitterly to myself. Most people my age would probably be thrilled to have a girl in their bedroom. But these were hardly normal circumstances. Laura was here — let’s not be under any illusions about this — to determine whether or not I was going insane.
I scrunched up my eyes tightly and tried to banish the thoughts from my head, but it wasn’t really working. I rolled over onto my front and buried my head in the pillow, but it was hard to breathe. Was I ever going to get to sleep tonight?
What felt like minutes later, I woke up with a start. I could hear Laura’s soft snoring still coming from down on the floor. The room was noticeably darker than it had been when I was trying to get to sleep. I looked at the clock radio; sure enough, as I expected, it was 2:30.
I sat on the edge of my bed and stretched my aching muscles. Then I nudged Laura with my foot. She gave a mumble but didn’t stir.
Possibilities crossed my mind. Should I just not wake her? If she didn’t wake up, I could just say I slept through the night and nothing happened. It’s possible that nothing will happen anyway, but perhaps it would just be easier if she…
“Oh, hey,” she groaned. I heard the sleeping bag rustle as she sat up. “What time is it?”
That answered that.
“2:30,” I said. “I keep waking up at this time for some reason.”
“Is something…” she began, then hesitated. “Have you seen anything?”
“No,” I said. “But the last few times I’ve woken up at this time, I’ve… I’ve seen Alice in her room.”
Laura was silent for a moment. The only sound was her gentle breathing. There was something delicate and feminine about it. I felt a strong and sudden urge to try and keep her safe.
“Do you want to go and look?” she asked eventually.
“Yes,” I said, almost immediately. I felt the same usual sense of unease and fear, but rather than stopping me from acting, now it felt like it was spurring me on into action. I had to see her again. I had to see her. “Yes. Come on.”
“All right,” said Laura. She yawned. “Let’s get this over with.”
She braced herself on the side of my bed and stood up, shaking the sleeping bag off her legs. I couldn’t stop myself from stealing a glance at her in the dull glow of the digits from the clock radio. She was wearing one of my T-shirts to sleep in, and nothing else. My eyes followed the contours of her shapely legs for a moment before I stopped myself. I shouldn’t look at her like that.
“Hey,” she said. “You all right?”
“Yeah,” I said, trying to shake the impure thoughts out of my mind. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
We walked out into the hallway, and I led the way to my sister’s room. I paused in front of the door as usual. I felt Laura place her hand on my shoulder behind me, and I felt somewhat reassured, but still uneasily.
I put my hand on the doorknob and opened it. I stepped over the threshold into the darkness of my sister’s room. I felt Laura’s hand release me as I stepped inside, and I knew she was hanging back to wait for me rather than intruding on this.
I sat down on the side of the bed as I had done before and reached over to try and stir my sister. She was already awake.
“Hello again,” she said. “Is this going to be a habit? It would be nice to get a full night’s sleep one of these days, you know.”
“Sorry,” I said. “I’m trying to work all this out.”
“I’m just joking,” she said, her voice softening a little. “I want to know what’s going on too. And I know it probably means at least a few nights of interrupted sleep.”
“I’m still sorry,” I said. I felt a wave of emotion rising up inside me. I felt like I wanted to cry, but I held myself back from the brink. “I wish I could have done something. I wish I could have saved you.”
“Whoa, wait, what?” she said. “Save me? From what? I’m here! I’m safe. See? Here.”
I felt her small hand touch me on the cheek. It was freezing cold, but she was definitely there. A tear fell from my eye.
“Yeah,” I said. “Sorry, I…”
“Yeah, something funny’s definitely going on here,” she said. “It’s like… you’re convinced I’m dead, right?”
“Yeah,” I said in a voice that wasn’t much more than a whisper.
“And… I’m convinced you’re dead,” she continued.
“Yeah,” I repeated.
There was a momentary silence.
“No, I got nothing,” she said. “Well, nothing that makes any sense, anyway.”
“This isn’t exactly a situation that makes sense anyway,” I said to her, wiping my eyes. “So let’s hear your situations that don’t make sense.”
“No, they’re too stupid,” she said. “They couldn’t possibly be happening.”
“Come on,” I said. “You can tell me.”
There was no response.
“Alice?”
I wondered what weird suggestions she had, and my mind started wandering, trying to think of some of my own. All of them just seemed too ridiculous to even consider. But like I said to her, this whole situation didn’t make sense. When you rule out all of the plausible things, what you’re left with, however implausible or impossible-seeming, must be the truth. I’d heard that somewhere.
She wasn’t saying anything.
“Alice?” I called. I reached out to touch her, but found only bedding.
She was gone again. But now there was a different sound coming from outside the room. It sounded like someone crying.
Laura?
I stood up from Alice’s bed and pulled the door open. Laura was kneeling on the floor of the hallway, sobbing.
“Hey, uh, you all right?” I said. Her head snapped up and she gazed at me with wide, tear-filled eyes — eyes that looked afraid.
“How the fuck did you do that?” she whispered in a broken voice.
“Do… what?” I asked.
She stood up and walked slowly towards me until she was so close our bodies were almost touching. Her hands moved to my face, her slender fingers caressing my cheeks, as if she was a blind girl trying to visualise the appearance of someone she would never see with her eyes. She was breathing raggedly through her mouth, and I felt her hot breath against me.
“You’re really here, right?” she said.
“Yes,” I whispered. Her face was very close to me. I didn’t know what was happening. She put her arms around me and pressed herself against me.
“Please,” she said. “Just hold me until morning.”
*
I woke up as the sun was rising. My bed felt more cramped than normal, and it took my sleepy mind a moment to realise that there was something in my bed with me, another moment to realise that it was a person and yet another to remember that it was Laura.
She was still sound asleep, facing away from me towards the wall.
I had only dim memories of exactly what had happened last night, but as my brain went through its startup sequence I remembered Laura’s words, her request, her plea for me to hold her until morning. I remembered how scared she’d looked. What happened?
She looked peaceful now, at least, so I decided not to wake her. I honoured her request as best I could, though, and hesitantly draped an arm over her sleeping figure.
I closed my eyes and found myself drifting off again.
*
The next time I awoke, Laura’s face was right in front of me. Her hair was a mess and her eyes looked tired.
“Hey,” she said. “I’m, uh, sorry about last night. Not that I imagine you’re complaining.”
I was suddenly very conscious of the “morning glory” erection I had, and tried discreetly to ensure that I didn’t poke her with it inadvertently.
“It’s, um, all right,” I said. There was an awkward silence that I felt the need to fill as soon as possible. “You seemed pretty upset about something… did you see my sister?”
“No,” she said, the cheeky smile from a moment ago fading instantly. “In fact, I didn’t see anything.”
I felt an unpleasant feeling, like icy-cold fingers crawling up my spine.
“So… I am going mad, then?” I asked.
“No,” she said, her voice becoming a little more agitated. “No, you don’t understand. I didn’t see anything at all. You weren’t there. You just disappeared, right in front of me.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
“You went away,” she said again. “You disappeared. I couldn’t see you, couldn’t find you. You were gone. You left me. Please don’t leave me. Please don’t go away.”
She buried her face in my chest, and all I could do was put my arms around her and hold her as she broke down completely. I’d never seen her like this before, and I hated myself for the fact that I was the one who had done it to her.
“Please don’t go away,” she kept saying. “Please don’t leave me.”
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