#oneaday Day 647: Badvertising

There are some truly awful adverts on TV at the moment. The trouble is, I can name pretty much every one of them, meaning that this badvertising is actually proving effective, meaning that there’ll inevitably be more of it. Worse, people actually seem to actively like some of this stupid nonsense, meaning they go viral and enter culture at large.

Let’s take the Confused.com adverts. These have developed a life of their own over the years. Formerly, their crazy-haired mascot was just that — a mascot or, more accurately, a logo. Now, however, she’s jumping around, singing some butchered version of YMCA which has been badly edited so it doesn’t flow properly and, to make it even worse, the animators have actually taken the time to make her boobs jiggle.

The butchering of a popular song seems to be a much-used approach at the moment. DHL do it with their latest, which puts some nonsense about “logistics” (don’t even get me started on that one) in place of “That’s Amoré” or whatever the song is actually called. And there are doubtless others out there.

Then we have hair care and beauty products, which are in a whole world of their own. One commercial at the moment actually promises “even more science”. Others make up lists of “seven signs of aging” or “thirty-eight signs of damaged hair” or “twelve signs your vagina is about to fall out”. For example.

One of the best-worst adverts at the moment is for Müller yogurts. It’s an impressive homage to kids’ TV of the past, featuring characters like Yogi Bear and the Mr Men in some sort of terrifying dystopian future where cartoon characters are possessing humanity, but it has absolutely nothing to do with yogurt. You can guarantee it will have been a subject of discussion at water coolers across the country, but will it sell yogurts? I have no idea.

By far the most infuriating place to watch ads is on YouTube, which appears to carry a library of approximately two ads at any one time and play the same ones every time you want to watch a TV programme, then again halfway through. Thankfully, recently, a bug in the system means that they often cut off early, leading to some interesting edits — the best of which is clearly the Coors advert, which opens with Jean Claude van Damme saying “Hello, I am van Damme. My pants froze,” and often cuts off at just that point.

Advertising serves a purpose, of course. Without it some things wouldn’t get funded. But does it have to be quite so fucking irritating?


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2 thoughts on “#oneaday Day 647: Badvertising

  1. I am glad that you dislike the Muller ad too- the whole thing frustrates me as it is clear that they are trying to appeal to ‘everyone’ and cram too many characters in.. result = confusion!

  2. There’s another one that someone posted on a forum that features a murdered cat like attempt at performing Feeders ‘Buck Rogers’.

    So much hate and fully justified 🙁

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