Amarysse the Cornac Fighter set out into the Trollmire, determined that she was going to find whatever hidden treasure the forest held. She didn’t let such petty concerns as monsters worry her — she had her sword in her hand and was ready for anything the forest could throw at her.
Chop! Down fell a forest wolf.
Hack! A fox, cleft in twain.
Slice! A swarm of midges, scattered to the four winds.
Smack! A troll biffed her on the head and she keeled over, dead.
Laramee the Higher Arcane Blade set out into the Trollmire, determined that she was going to find whatever hidden treasure the forest held. She didn’t let such petty concerns as monsters worry her — she had her sword in her hand and her innate magical abilities ready to burn any monsters to a crisp.
Chop! Down went a forest wolf.
Sizzle! A fox, burned beyond recognition.
Slicefizz! Her flaming blade tore through the flesh of an unwitting troll.
She found her way deep into the forest and was momentarily taken aback by a loud roar. Suddenly, a large troll, bigger than anything she’d ever seen before, bounded out of the shadows, punched her in the face, knocked her to the ground and then squeezed the life out of her.
Pierre the Cornac Archer set out into the Trollmire, determined that he was going to find whatever hidden treasure the forest held. He didn’t let such petty concerns as monsters worry him — he had his trusty bow ready to turn any monsters into a pincushion.
SUDDENLY, TROLLS.
Pierre died having fired off just two shots. The monsters that surrounded his corpse tore him to pieces.
Lord Bath the Higher Alchemist set out into the Trollmire, determined that he was going to find whatever hidden treasure the forest held. He didn’t let such petty concerns as monsters worry him — he had a massive golem with laser eyes as a companion.
Boom! He threw a bomb at a clump of wolves and laughed as they burned to a crisp.
Stomp! His golem squashed a snake underfoot like it was a tiny bug.
He heard a roar off in the distance, but instead of setting out to foolishly investigate what it was, he turned around and left the forest, planning on spending the afternoon in the local halfling village.
He wandered into the local shops, offloaded his ill-gotten gains to the local merchants (who looked a little intimidated by the giant golem) but was soon accosted by a shady-looking halfling.
“Come with me,” he said.
“Okay,” replied Lord Bath without a moment’s hesitation.
“I like a warrior who doesn’t shy away from a fight,” said the halfling, chuckling to himself. “Try not to die too quickly.”
“Wait, wha-?” said Lord Bath, suddenly finding himself in an arena with a gladiator bearing down on him.
“Golem! Strike him down!” he commanded, hiding behind a pillar and fumbling in his quiver for some alchemical bombs to hurl at his would-be assailant. The gladiator, fortunately, was more focused on the giant rock monster than Lord Bath.
Eventually, with a shattering crunch, the golem disintegrated and Lord Bath was left facing his assailant across the arena. Taking a few steps back, he continued hurling bombs at the gladiator, watching him gradually weaken with each successful hit.
The gladiator fell, then a halfling with a sling entered the arena.
“You have got to be joking,” said Lord Bath to himself, glancing over at the ruins of his companion and fumbling in his pack for more gemstones to transmute into bombs.
Eventually, the halfling slinger fell, but not before Lord Bath had taken a few blows to the skull. He lightly touched the runes infused into his skin and felt his wounds begin to heal, just as another swordsman entered the arena.
A few swift bombs later and the swordsman, too, was down for the count. Lord Bath was declared the champion of the Arena — for now — and let out to go on his way.
And he’s still alive to this day.
You can join the brutal permadeath fun with a free copy of Tales of Maj’Eyal, the only Roguelike I know of with online stat-tracking.
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Lord Bath is dead now. He was killed by a Shade in the Ruins of Kor’Pul. Oh dear.