It’s been a while since I went through the top songs on Spotify, so I think it’s about time we rectified that right now. I’m going to do it with a twist this time, though. Since it’s been so long since I listened to the radio or watched any kind of TV with modern pop-type rhythm music in attendance, I’m sure there’s a lot of stuff out there that I’ve never heard before. So I’m going to completely subjectively go off my gut instincts after no more than 30 seconds of each song. I am also going to use no more than three words to discuss each song. And I’m going to sample 23 songs, just to be completely arbitrary. What could possibly go wrong?
From the top, then — I’m using the UK Top Tracks list in Spotify for this. Here goes nothing.
The Lazy Song – Bruno Mars
Bit Jack Johnson.
Party Rock Anthem – LMFAO
Not rock. Crap.
Give Me Everything – Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer
Whiny dudes. Synth.
Judas – Lady Gaga
Jude. Arse. Judah-arse-ga-ga.
Beautiful People – Chris Brown feat. Benny Benassi
Dance eJay synth.
Where Them Girls At (Feat. Nicki Minaj & Flo Rida)
Awful. Just awful.
Rolling in the Deep – Adele
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
On the Floor – Jennifer Lopez
90s dance nightmare.
Sweat – Snoop Dogg vs. David Guetta
Autotuned single note.
I Need A Dollar – Aloe Blacc
Band costs more.
Buzzin Remix – Explicit Version – Mann
Shut up, Fiddy.
Born This Way – Lady Gaga
Sinister opening. Cheesy.
All Of The Lights – Kanye West
Terrible video. Pretentious.
Just Can’t Get Enough – Black Eyed Peas
Please stop autotuning.
The Edge of Glory – Lady Gaga
Racing game start.
Price Tag – Jessie J
Moderately catchy. Kinda.
Skinny Love – Birdy
Nice piano opening.
Make You Feel My Love (album) – Adele
Bit Norah Jonesish.
E.T. (feat. Kanye West) – Katy Perry
Babbling autotuned twat.
E.T. – Katy Perry
Infinitely superior version.
Guilt – Radio Edit – Nero
Song for club.
I Need A Doctor – Dr. Dre
Nice opening. SHOUTING.
Grenade – Bruno Mars
Deceptive title. Whiny.
There we go, then. If, for whatever reason, you want to listen to all this garbage, then feel free to load up this playlist into Spotify.
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