Comedienne Rebecca Front posted the following tweet yesterday, and was somewhat surprised at the level of response it got:
It was a bold move, particularly for a public figure, but in doing so she inspired a veritable plethora of people to “come out of the closet”, as it were, and admit that they had suffered mental health issues, be they depression, anxiety, panic attacks, OCD or any number of others.
Front’s aim with the original tweet was to encourage people to talk openly about the things they felt without feeling a stigma attached to it—hence the hashtag. And it was genuinely touching to see the number of people who latched on to this topic, confessing how they suffered from numerous “hidden” ailments in their mind whilst going about what otherwise seemed to be perfectly “normal” lives.
In fact, Front conjectured that some form of mental illness affected almost everyone. That may appear to be an exaggeration, but the number of people responding to her original tweet, coupled with the fact that #whatstigma became the top non-promoted trending topic in the UK for a good few hours yesterday, made it clear that there were plenty of people out there who do suffer from these things and perhaps haven’t had the opportunity to talk about them, or don’t feel comfortable talking about them.
It’s no surprise, really, that there’s a perceived stigma surrounding mental illness, however. Back in last May, Janet Street-Porter made some ill-advised comments suggesting that depression was being used as a fashion accessory—that people were just saying they were suffering because it was the “in” ailment to have.
There may well be some people who deliberately exaggerate their feelings of “being down” into “depression”—if there are, then they really should find better things to do with their lives. But these people aside, people do genuinely suffer. And it’s not just a case of “snapping out of it”, of “cheering up”, of saying “chin up” enough times. It doesn’t just go away; it sticks around, for years sometimes. Like anything, there are peaks and troughs; the peaks can feel like you’ve escaped it, finally, that you’re in the clear, that you can get on with enjoying your life. But then a trough comes along, plunges you deep into the darkness and the long climb back out begins again.
I’ve felt this way—I still do. And I know many, many other people—some in person, some via the Internet—who also do. I didn’t recognise my depression for what it was until I spent some time with someone who explained it to me at university. I recognised the feelings she described and knew that I’d felt them myself, too. It wasn’t just a case of feeling “a bit sad”. It was a variety of factors piling up in such a way that made it very difficult to deal with life’s trials, whatever they might be.
And I hate it. The feeling of helplessness that comes with it; of having days when you just don’t want to get out of bed; of times when nothing can stop you from feeling regrets, anger, fear, shame; of wondering if it’ll ever end. For some people, it becomes just something about you—something you deal with. For others, it’s an acute condition which can be treated. But for most people, there are underlying causes that need to be dealt with rather than attacked with “quick fixes”.
In my case, these underlying causes are well-documented, and I’m doing what I can to fix them. This makes me feel a little better most of the time—knowing that I’m making the effort to do something about these underlying causes is good motivation to keep doing what I do. But there are still days when I find myself wondering if it’s worth it, if anything is ever going to come of all these efforts that I’m making.
I won’t know unless I keep trying, I guess.
My feelings on this made clear, now, here’s the shameless plugging. In May, I’ll be running the BUPA 10K with a couple of very lovely friends I’ve met via the One A Day Project. All three of us will be running in aid of the mental health charity “Mind”. I’d certainly appreciate it a great deal if you can spare a bit of virtual loose change to fling my way via my fundraising page. Every little bit will help people to get the help they need to overcome these difficulties.
Thanks for reading this; thanks for your help; and thanks for your support.
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Great post, open and honest as always…
Depression is too often attacked as being ‘in’ and ‘cool’. Many people who suffer are too ashamed to come forward for help simply because they dont want to be branded as ‘crying for help’ or making a scene.
That said, there may be some people who use depression as an oddity, a quirk by which they define themselves. I’m guessing that these are who Janet Street-Porter was waffling about.
Thing that she is missing, is that if these people are out there (and I personally suspect that there may will be) they should be treated with pity & patience… After all, someone who seriously considers 7/8 years of insomnia, medication, tests, troubles, tears and stress to be somehow ‘cool’ has definite problems of their own.