#oneaday, Day 278: Trippin’ on Kids’ TV

Children’s TV is weird. Anyone who has turned on the TV in the mid-afternoon recently will be familiar with this fact. As we speak, I am watching the end of CBeebies. (There is a child present, I hasten to add.) In the last half an hour, I have borne witness to talking trains (some of which can fly, making their rails somewhat redundant), a lion who drives a train and is best friends with a Brummie camel that is made of upholstery, a selection of small furry creatures with massive eyes who do yoga and, right now, a selection of hallucinogenic creatures and wooden Asian people with big moustaches.

None of it makes any sense!

That’s the cry that goes up regularly from critics of modern children’s TV, of course, along with the old favourite “where’s the educational value in that?” Most people over a certain age will inevitably follow this with “it was much better when I was a kid”.

Was it, though? Sure, we had shows like Blue Peter and Knowhow (memorable for being the only show I know of that featured a poo in a lunchbox) that at least had pretensions of being educational. But then we had things like The Clangers and Trap Door which, while awesome, made little to no sense at the best of times.

I wonder where the assumption that “kids like weird shit” came from. Because it’s been around almost as much as television itself. From the “flobbadobbadob” of Bill & Ben, Flower Pot Men back in the days of black and white telly to the hallucinogenic mayhem that is In The Night Garden (presently featuring a group of three odd creatures cleaning their non-existent teeth in harmony with a hoedown-style piece of music), it seems that weirdness has forever been a staple part of children’s televisual entertainment. Perhaps it’s something to do with children having more active imaginations, a skill which many people sadly lose as they grow older. Perhaps adults should get more in the way of weird, surreal programming to enjoy.

Except we do, of course. It’s just sometimes not as obvious. But try explaining that animé film you just watched to someone unfamiliar with the genre. Or anything from the sci-fi oeuvre. Or some of the more out-there sketch shows out there.

But if you truly want to enjoy the experience of taking a selection of hallucinogenic drugs without all that pesky illegality (not to mention a handy “off” switch if it gets a bit bad-trippy) then you could certainly do far worse than switching over to the CBeebies channel (or, if you’re looking for something a little stronger, the frankly terrifying BabyTV) and tuning your brain out for an hour or two.

Me? I’ll stick to shows where teenage girls kick the asses of vampires whilst dealing with their own angst, thanks.