#oneaday, Day 195: Dear Sam

You got married today. Well, yesterday, technically, now, since it’s after midnight.

Since I was neither the best man, nor the father of the bride, I did not make a speech today. This is fine. Best men have a lot of work to do—which your fine and admirable brothers did a great job with from what I could see—and as for the father of the bride? That sort of thing takes years to get ready for.

What I did want to do in this frankly unnecessarily public and gin-fueled way was say a couple of things close to my heart. I’m sure some other people reading may appreciate the sentiments, too, which is why I’m saying this publicly. Like a speech. Only without any actual talking.

The first thing I want to say is thanks. Thanks for being a friend. I count you as one of the best friends I have—if not the best. You’ve been one of those “constants” I wrote about the other day. From the early days of chicken dipper sandwiches and “this letter D or P is going in the grill” in Hartley Grove, through the many trips to Lennons and Kaos and finally to the awesome times we have now, when we can still act like dickheads while enjoying some board games even as our lives have supposedly reached “maturity”; through all those many years now, you’ve been a great friend and someone I know I could always count on. And that is one of the most important things I know of. Friendship is an important thing; when all else is chaos, it helps bring balance and perspective back to a world gone topsy-turvy.

The second thing I want to say is thank you for a wonderful day. From the lovely, simple, traditional service (which you were kind enough to involve my piano skills in) to the idyllic setting for the reception, I can say without doubt that today was possibly the finest wedding I’ve ever attended. Kudos. There will be photographs and videos to enjoy very soon.

The final thing I want to say is how genuinely happy I am to see you and the wonderful Helen make your vows to one another. As a man who has loved, been loved and lost everything, it would have been easy to feel cynical or sad when seeing another couple make those same promises that led to such disaster for me. But every time I’ve ever seen you and Helen together, it is absolutely clear that it is meant to be. The two of you belong together, and it’s wonderful to see. There is still good in the world.

Remember those vows that you made today. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t remember the promises I made, and that’s probably the thing that hurts me the most. But this isn’t about me; it’s about you and your new wife, and your life together.

Be open, honest and true to one another. Believe and have faith in one another. Respect one another’s boundaries, strive to understand your differences and revel in the things you share.

Above all, never forget that you love one another. The bond you made today is one that should be for life—and I believe 100%, that it is. The future may be full of trials, but I have absolute faith that the two of you will weather any storms that may come.

I wish both of you luck and good fortune as this new chapter of your existence begins. May your life together with Helen be forever blessed with joy and happiness. And games of Ticket to Ride.

Your friend, for always,
Pete


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