A complete stranger insulted me today. There was no provocation and no reason for it. The only explanation I can come up with is the fact that he was with two friends and wanted to play up in front of them, so he thought he’d pick on the fat guy.
It ruined my morning. I’d gone out for a walk in the glorious sunshine, but that one hurtful comment upset me. So did the knowledge that people exist so obnoxious that they feel the need to pick on other people, like 10-year old bullies. So I went home.
Fortunately, after talking to a few friends online, many of whom say they had experienced something similar at one point or another, I felt a bit better. And I started to think that I’d rather be the person I am, however I look, than the sort of arsehole who judges another person based on their appearance and then insults them to their face. You have to wonder how fucked up that person must be in the head to want to do that.
Rhiarti wrote a touching post the other day about being “the ugly duckling” and not fitting in. I sympathise entirely since I feel exactly the same way. There are times when I feel like I just don’t belong in “normal” society. When I go out to a bar – with friends, even – and find myself unable to think of anything to say, for example. Small talk’s never been a strong point of mine. When I find myself overthinking conversations I’m potentially about to have – and sometimes end up not having them at all. That’s another good one.
It’s strange. I sort of like it and hate it at the same time. When I went to PAX, it was, like Wil Wheaton said at the time, “like coming home”. I was amongst other people who obviously felt the same way, and it was a good feeling. But that made it all the harder to leave them behind and come back to the big wide world where strangers think it’s acceptable to insult you.
I know, I know, I should grow a pair.
But words are powerful. Words are perhaps the strongest weapon that humans have. Well, that’s perhaps not true. A nuclear bomb would probably kill more people than an expectorated obscenity. But when it comes to helping or hurting another person, words are definitely one of the strongest things that there are, and definitely the thing that sets us apart from animals. A kind or unkind word can have a huge impact on how someone feels, whether or not they show it to you directly – or indeed whether or not they’re right there with you. I know I certainly appreciate the kind and supportive words my “distant” friends have for me, whether it’s something serious and heartfelt, or sharing a private joke together.
So, people of the world, next time you’re going to say something, have a quick think about what the person you’re saying it to might think. And don’t be a dick.
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I truly feel for you, pal. That was an uncool thing to do. I remember (some 60 lbs and massive amounts of heavy object lifting ago) being the brunt of somerhing similar at a Yankee game. It’s not fun.
That said, I giggled my ass off at that picture. I may have driven off the road had I come across it.
Oh, me too. Frickin’ hilarious. Well done Google Images. (That was a search for “rudeness”, incidentally.)
A good post, sir. And after all, you’ve really got to ponder on the fool’s outlook; what a blinkered and dull life one must lead to find even the slightest excitement in denigrating strangers.
I say if that dreadful thing happens again, take a leaf out of The Inbetweeners and retort “Brilliant!”. Depending on who’s carrying the neuron at that point, they’ll have to rub cells together rather fast to counter the unexpected. Considering the complicated world of today meeting their interface – the classic 386 running Windows 7 analogy – you’ll be home and eating dinner by the time their wit arrives.
Hah! It’s true. “Your dad’s a paedo.” “Brilliant. No he’s not though, is he?” “Yeah, but he is.” “Right. Great. Brilliant.”
Can’t remember the source, but I still stand by the comment, “I’d rather be intelligent and ugly, than pretty and stupid”.
And sitting in silence with friends is often more fun than making random conversation, I find 🙂
I suck at small talk. Or, rather, I was raised to be really good at it, but nobody accounted for the way my brain works. So, halfway through smiling and nodding politely in all the right places and asking about the dull-as-shit thing I’ve no interest in hearing abou… ah, well, yeah. You see my problem! I’m hopeless at concealing the inner workings of my mind, heh.
As I said at the time, for what it’s worth I had a similarly brutal comment when I was actually half a stone under the safe weight for my height. Idiots open their mouths and stupidity comes out… you just happened to be standing in its path. Which, given to this day I still wish I could go back and give that tosser a piece of my mind, probably won’t do anything to help you shrug it off faster.
Important thing is you’re awesome. People who know you, who talk to you, who like you for who you are? We’re all agreed on the bit about you being awesome. Some random monkey who doesn’t know you from Adam? We’re pretty much all agreed about him too…
Yeah, I know. Looking back on it and wishing I’d given him a piece of my mind is the thing that drives me the most nuts. As it was, I managed a disgruntled-sounding “fuck off” as he walked past, to which I got no reaction. I’m actually kind of glad, because I have no idea where I’d take that “conversation” next. 🙂
And you’re right. I am awesome. You’re awesome. Everyone who has commented on this post is awesome. And, given my rather slim (no pun intended) readership, I can say with a reasonable amount of confidence that everyone who has read this post is awesome.
“A round of lager for the awesome people, barkeep.”
“Yer got I.D.?”
“…”