Never one to shy away from a good meme (with #oneaday itself being something of a meme anyway – and with “desk” being something of an unintentional one from the looks of things), here we are.
In front of me is my 24 inch iMac, white plastic model, the generation before they went all metallic and shiny. It has a new-style Apple keyboard and a Logitech mouse because I loathe and detest the Mighty Mouse. To the right of the mouse, laying on its side is an iPod Shuffle 1GB that I got out the other day with the intention of putting some music on for exercise purposes… then didn’t.
To the left of the iMac is a stack of three blank DVD/CD spindles. One of them only has a couple of discs left, but the other two are full. In front of the DVD spindles are four pens – a green whiteboard marker, a green biro, a black Berol handwriting pen and an interactive whiteboard pen. There’s also a pair of metal scissors, a roll of Sellotape and a bottle of Niceday knockoff Tippex. Sorry, “correction fluid”.
Further left still, there’s a Sony CRT Trinitron KV-1440UB TV-monitor which has been in good working order ever since the late 80s and early 90s. Sitting on top of the Sony screen is an Atari 800XL, a Zipstik and a Quickshot joystick.
Underneath the desk is a semi-transparent plastic tote containing an assortment of PC games that I haven’t played for years. On top of that is a brown leather document wallet containing my passport, marriage certificate, university degree and teaching qualification and Criminal Records Bureau Enhanced Disclosure paperwork proving I am not a criminal. There is also an expanding sectioned file thing with a broken clasp so it won’t close. This contains everything from bills to strange bits of forgotten-purpose paper to TV licenses to paperwork from houses I don’t live in any more.
There are some shelves under the desk. On one of the shelves sits an Atari 1050 floppy disk drive, a few more PC games and some cardboard document folders.
The drawers to the left of my desk are broken. Try and pull one out and the front simply falls off.
In summary: I need a new desk that is bigger than this cluttered shitheap.
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