Spam Fiction

If you’ve received any email recently (and if you’re reading this, then let’s face it, you probably have), chances are you’ve received one of those bizarre spam emails that contains three things: 1. a link (which we’re all well-trained and don’t follow, right?) 2. some sort of pornographic exhortation (such as… oh, I’m sure you can imagine one) and 3. an extract of narrative from… somewhere.

I was intrigued by this. Why on Earth are spammers trying to get us to visit a website via the medium of extracts from… what? Books? Who knows. Anyway, having little to no regard for my own sanity, and against the express wishes of my dear friend Mr George Kokoris, I decided to see if pasting them one after another (minus the pornographic exhortations and links, and with some minor text-correction to make some of them a little more readable) created anything meaningful.

Here we go.

The gelsphere sped over one ceiling surface, then streaked down a wall, across the floor and between Erasmus’s legs, then back up again. “Is it possible that you have avoided the subject of religion in your investigations because it is too complex and illogical?”

“Billy!” the cop yelled. A coyote howl rose, wavering and glassy. It was joined by another and another and another.

Either way, it maybe hadn’t been such. a good idea. David pulled a thick ring of keys. out of his pocket and found the one which looked like the one Entragian had used.

He feels it. And when they get there they’ll form. a conga line and sing ‘It’s a Small World After All.

‘Twenty-three. .

‘I said I wouldn’t pack his lunchbox,. but of course I did. He reaches below the pillow Henry is. holding over the thrashing thing’s face.

The laddie-bucks who had come running were,. for the most part, still running. We also know that Russian fighters destroyed. a grayboy ship over Siberia in 1974 .

News & World Report-but that was all. “What a joke!” the rotting thing cried. indignantly.

Had it and then got drinking and. lost track of it again. Across the bottom of Albert Belle’s card. was this: “To David-Keep sluggin’! Albert Belle.

you are wonderfulTransactional fo’ sho’I bought a bunch of cable organizers on sale, but instead of using them properly I just pile them on top of the cablesThis is just the same clips from different angles, but I would really like to see more of thisstevebanfield less functionality, but I like Tweetie on the Mac STUPID STUPID WHO viaI can’t believe how quick I was searching for the nicotine gum this morning

Muhsari haad to prood hiim aagin. “And the docotr diidn’t saay _anything_ abuot Eilot?”

After half an hour of hot pursuit, a bridge technician asked to speak privately with the two Primeros and informed them that their Holtzman shields were in danger of overheating and failing. The protective systems were not meant to be used at such high intensity for long periods of time.

Exhausted from nearly four decades of bloody fighting, the people were delirious at the prospect of reconciliation. They lionized Vidad and his fellow cogitors. They launched exuberant victory parades, imagining how their lives would now be different, never again without the fear of awful machine raids. They desperately wanted to believe in the possibility of a safe future.

“There he is!” Dhartha howled.

After all, we are not flower-merchants or herbalists! Suldrun gazed pensively down the garden and over the sea.

I’ve had an interesting set of experiences. The seasons passed; autumn turned to winter.

No normal man could remain normal under … Whatever its nature, it had failed to protect the hand.

“I invest my greatest hopes in all of you,” she said. “I cannot deny that danger lies ahead. Even if you succeed, you die. And if you fail, you also die – but worse, it will have been to no purpose. I am here to make certain your lives and your deaths are not in vain, that you are instrumental in destroying Omnius and his thinking machine minions.”

Usually they cry and hold out their arms when I leave them. For the death of others was its life.

After the meal the group became restless. And then go to your destiny in your own way.

I want nothing so much as to join him. All transport was at a standstill.

It seems an unimaginative plan. Hold the light; stand yonder, where you can see along the street.

You must still have it with you. He turned desperately to the District Attorney.

Lady Vosse, who stood nearby, grunted. We re going to share hopes and doubts, dangers and victories.

To the dog must now fall the problem of disposing of the pearl. Blow softly, with kind expression-ah!

Whatever might happen would not be to her liking. The Druid to the east extended his oak branch.

Is this not correct, Zar-aides? I fear that I have only five days to live.

Chilling stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree. I particularly like the frenzied stream-of-consciousness bit in the middle. But what does it all mean?

Quick! The elixir!