Comments on: #oneaday Day 807: Bully for You

By: 1125: Low Ebb | I'm Not Doctor Who

1125: Low Ebb | I'm Not Doctor Who — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 21:19:16 +0000

[…] I suffered workplace bullying towards the end of my time working at an Apple Store (check it out here) but I wanted to talk a little more about the subject in […]

By: judsgamereviews

judsgamereviews — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 07:54:02 +0000

Hi Pete – just letting you know that I have added your reply to my question re DLCs in a blog.
http://judsgamereviews.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.php just in case you want to check it. I also Updated the earlier blog (that I think you have read) with the same comment as promised to the readers. Also added another Link to your Home page to this new blog. Jud

By: Pete Davison

Pete Davison — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 22:42:11 +0000

In reply to Matt Mason. You're absolutely right. The Internet should be a force for good, for global communication, cooperation and collaboration. And so often it is. But what else does it get used for? Lying, cheating, stealing, bullying. Unfortunately it's not the sort of thing you can really "regulate", either, because then we end up with things like SOPA and PIPA. You end up having to rely on basic human decency. And while a lot of people do have that and maintain it while on the Internet... well... we've seen plenty of evidence that a lot of people don't.

By: Pete Davison

Pete Davison — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 22:38:31 +0000

In reply to judsgamereviews. Yes, you're absolutely right. Bullying leaves scars. In the case of physical bullying, literally. But in the case of psychological bullying -- such as that I discussed in this post -- those scars are much deeper and more difficult to heal, because you can't just rely on your body fixing itself. No, instead you deal with the much more tricky prospect of memory, and however hard you may try to erase those memories, they'll never quite leave you entirely, even when you're in a much happier, healthier place. As I said in the post, I'm not one to hold grudges, but I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive the people who left those scars.

By: judsgamereviews

judsgamereviews — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 03:49:34 +0000

Hi Pete,
So well written – objective yet emotive – and dealing with an ever-increasing failure within our society. You have quite a lot of material here, and in other blogs, that would work really well as a book on "Bullying and other social Nightmares". WordPress sent out a WORDPRESS – http://co109w.col109.mail.live.com/default.aspx?rru=inbox&wlexpid=B0439D6188DC44AB9A81DFC96A5167EB&wlrefapp=2#n=1849964991&rru=inbox&fid=b98b1e6b39fd4413861c710d7e5adbec&mid=47eadf13-7e89-11e1-88ad-00237de49fac&fv=1 – called HOW TO TURN YOUR BLOG INTO A BOOK which might be worth a look. The URL is there for you but it doesn't look like it has taken as a link.
I too have experienced workplace bullying – which culminated in my dismissal and which I have found hard to forget entirely. There was the merging of 2 companies, which entailed the merging of staff. The original staff were determined to get rid of any interlopers. It worked within days for one young female accountant, and I hung in there longer. Many of the staff were great but there were a few management people who undermined what the new management were trying to implement – and getting rid of their chosen employees was one way. Also I had taken the job of a young woman who had been returned to the typing pool and resented it. So she created obstacles, white-anted me, didn't hand my paperwork on, etc, then blamed me for a work car that she had pranged – I wasn't even in the car – till I got the sack. Then she left. And in the end so did the new Managing Director! The original lot won.
It undermines your self belief, and your credibility as well. My husband said I must have done something wrong. So much for family support. You find you go over and over it, playing it through your mind to see how it could have come out any different. But it couldn't because it was outside your control. Leaves a nasty taste in your mouth, and diminishes your trust in people. And though you do move on from it, pick yourself up, shake yourself down, note that you are truly alone in this world when it comes to the crunch, you still find that if something recalls the memory, your resentment at the injustice of it all still remains.
You are not alone – and unlike your former employers – you have the force with you.

By: Matt Mason

Matt Mason — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 03:39:40 +0000

It's funny you bring this up, I've been thinking about how terrible bullying really is. I found out recently that a guy who bullied me in high school is a convicted murderer in the state of Utah as well as a white supremacist. Not only did he pick on me countless times, he's deigned himself to not even liking other ethnicities but so brazen as to kill a law officer in a bid to escape. It's insane to think that such behavior as a kid could lead to these atrocities. I also worry about my son, whom suffers from segregation in his own soccer team thanks to middle school cliques melding into what is supposed to be a recreational league. Fortunately he has friends that he plays with, but the fact that there a weird pack/gang mentality bothers me a lot. Lastly, I know of the situation you first spoke of, which made me uncomfortable and enraged. Everyone always talks of how the anonymity of the internet empowers the weak-willed, but nobody seems to mention how callous and confrontational people can be when they don't have to directly face those whom they hurt. I've seen a lot of good and met a lot of great people through the internet, but sometimes I wonder if it's not also social poison sometimes.